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I wouldn't say it's cheating – but end it, don't stay with someone that treats you like shit
I’ve done it before but maybe they were being nice ??♀️
Well if he didn’t do anything, he should have no problem taking her to the hotel and asking himself.
Or she could at least see his phone or bank statements etc, something to prove it wasn’t him.
I’m pretty sure he cheated though whether they give the info or not.
You should just smash that girl who's been looking at you and it doesn't matter her job. Just do it, and understand that your SO felt the same way, and she still does. They'll stomp for dudes becoming women, but they can't even call out their own for shit behavior. Smash it.
Ok so now we’re stealing parts of comments? This is so weird. Both this comment and the one above were copied from others in this thread.
Bruh! Bruh!!! RUN!
You sound miserable. A man wants peace and no drama when he comes home.
In your soul, you know exactly what to do. You can find some new vagine. The person attached to this one is broken, a narcissist, sociopath or has some kind of personality disorder that you should not have to deal.
Run!
Just talk to some legal experts about getting her out of your home.
Bruh….Run!!
If you give her a month’s notice, you will need to be present in the home so your valuables are not taken or your apartment wrecked.
Run!!!
Be prepared to change the locks to your apt.
Are you ready for the aftermath?
Oh, did I mention….RUN!!!!!
That might not even be true. You never met her and that could be her telling her friend to say that to you. People do some crazy things like that, especially ones with BPD. If you are feeling suicidal you should be calling a hotline for help.
I’m 15. My gf is 16.
Because they fully focused on you.
Because they fully focused on you.
I totally understand that! Dating can be exhausting maybe try to just be yourself around them? Dont put up a mask throw the mask aside and the right people will love you. Even if you aren't always happy all the time the right people will accept you. It just takes time but I'm sure you're going to find that someone if you wish to. Stay strong just remember you found it once you can do it again! Just be genuine and authentic
Does he have BPD? I've been here and it's exhausting
He tells me is how he does this. I lay on his chest and he holds me while browsing.
If the new bf loves her he will marry her anyways. Let them make that decision on their own. It‘s none of your business at that point and you don‘t need to financially support that or do criminal stuff for them.
It‘s up to the new bf to step up, find a job and decide to support her. NOT you.
Wdym
Yes! In order to stay in this relationship long term, and especially if marriage comes to the table, you will be expected to convert, OP! And, JW is NOT a religion where you can just show up on holidays and pretend to make the in-laws happy.
They will control your entire life. You will be expected to fully buy in. Imagine having daughters who will be raised to believe that they are inferior beings, and their only value is in their purity and ability to have children.
Unless your partner is completely willing to walk away from it all, and potentially lose his entire family, or you’re willing to join this religion, it is very unlikely that your relationship will have any long-term potential.
Source: I was raised in a different, but still fundamentalist religion
Would it be enough to end things?
It would be for me.
Do you see yourself living the rest of your life like that? I think this relationship has run it's course. Has it always been like this?
Absolutely. Now that he thinks she's trapped he's showing his true colors.
Why are you dating someone who doesn’t like you?
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50 hours a week just to earn 1k some months is not sustainable. And even though you want a father figure for your kids, you're showing them that it's ok to have an imbalanced relationship.
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You're not obligated to have sex with anyone. He hid something major from you that for most straight women would be a deal-breaker. I know it would be for me. I want male genitals not female. You have to respect people but you don't have to have sex with whoever wants it from you. Sounds like he was trying to make you feel like you were transphobic. And doesn't matter what anyone identifies as, you don't get to be mad at someone for not wanting to have sex with you. That's a huge red flag in itself. The lying and waiting until you're practically havign sex is another red flag. Dump him and don't feel bad about it.
Pretty sure your wife knew you had PE and probably researched it herself quite a bit. I think bringing this up during commute probably diminished the importance of the topic and made it more of a light convo. I don’t think she laughed intentionally to hurt you.
Having a baby with this man it's not going to do anything but make your marriage end sooner than later. It takes time to heal emotionally physically mentally after each pregnancy whether it comes to fruition or not. Stop and think this over as you heal do you really want to have a baby with this man
I’ve done it in the past and never will again because even if I’m not doing anything bad I like to leave the house and not be traced 24/7
It is not in his best interest financially to get a divorce; simply bringing that up in conversation may scare him enough to relax with the penny pinching
Have him read “Die with Zero”, it may adjust his perspective
Two questions:
Do you have a current partner, and do they have any issues with your ex?
Do you have any interest in rekindling a relationship with your ex?
If the answer to both questions is “no” then I think inviting her to sit with you would be the nice thing to do. Being lonely at a new job is rough and she would likely appreciate a familiar face extending an olive branch. Keep your conversations surface-level and work-related and I think you'll be fine.
OP I'm gonna tell you straight. My current partner (he's 28 now) was in a relationship with a girl for 4 years, exactly how you're describing. He couldn't play games. He couldn't go to the gym. He couldn't see friends. Eventually he was isolated with no hobbies or interests or anything to look forward too. He eventually gained weight, was depressed and felt hopeless. Every time he tried to leave her she would cry and threaten to kill herself. All this shit your gf is doing is manipulative af. She needs professional help for her insecurities but I am telling you now, if she doesn't sort herself out, you're going to head down the same way my partner did. Thankfully now he's recovering but he still feels guilty for playing games and hanging with his friends because of the emotional damage she caused him. I reassure him it's fine and healthy to do his hobbies, socialise etc. A relationship involved happiness and growth together, no this stuff you're describing. Look after yourself, you're still so young.
I’m here! Two kids. I was doing my masters work in the hospital recovering from a C-Section. I also work full time.
You’re 21, how many damaged guys have you went through?
Could be insecurity. To me there is different type of intelligence (being clever, smart, emotionally intelligent, etc) some are more scholar, other are ingenious and more intuitive. None is better than the other.
You might not be « smart » like him, but I’m sure he’s not smart like you.
Sounds like jealousy to me. DO NOT LET HIM BELITTLE YOU LIKE THAT.
(Congrats on your curriculum, it’s awesome !)
Yeah but she had to start sex with him…. he passes out and then she had to continue when he came to. ?
I am using the word you in the sense of couples counseling and how you are going to start love bombing him and blindsiding him.
Why don’t you think how he would react to you doing this all of a sudden? Give the man a few days to process and just write him your thoughts and feelings and tell him to read it when he gets home.
You act very entitled for someone who has put your ex and your child through all of this. Also just because he is willing to talk to your parents doesn’t mean he will want a relationship with them. If he doesn’t who will you choose? Him or your parents? Are you going to proclaim your love and then tell him it comes with the conditions he must accept to be back with you?
You are 29 years old and have a kid. It is time to grow up and stop just thinking about yourself but figure out how your actions are going to affect others.
I’m just baffled why they would even tell you about the note addressed to you if they planned to keep it and not even let you read it. Regardless of reasoning that just seems like a jerk-ish thing to do.
My advice to you would be to see a therapist, maybe visit your parents or have a weekend with close friends. No one should have to go through those feelings alone.
True, It seems to be leading to this only. I was just feeling bad coz i don't think it's her fault either. But now, as you all have said, it seems a breakup doesn't need to be anyone's fault. It can be just incompatibility.
I don’t doubt it. Part of me believes someone inevitably had to take this step, and it’ll be the best thing for the both of us.
It sounds like your partner does not see you or your family (or anyone else who is white) as individual people deserving of respect. Instead it sounds like he sees all of you as one monolithic group. To put it in other words, he has racial prejudices, and may also be a bigot. I’d you want to stay with him, that’s on you. Personally, I have enough self respect that I don’t associate with people who would treat my family or anyone else’s family poorly based on our skin color. Fuck your traumas, either behave in public or go be by yourselves until you can play nicely with society.
Also, for people on here being careful not to “invalidate” his feelings, I think you’re a bunch of cowards. You don’t have to validate all feelings, and you certainly don’t have to validate bigotry even if it comes from a person who gasp isn’t white.
If he want to help he’ll get off his ass and help. This is a lie.
OP what are u looking for here?
Are u just venting? It sounds like that's all this is.
You seem to like being embarrassed and used.
Ur staying once again after all.
Do you feel like you can't do any better than someone that keeps mistreating and disrespecting you?
What exactly does she have to talk to this dude about? If i got a second chance after fucking up i wouldn't be deceptive to the point of hiding my affair partners contact from the man that forgave my bullshit and still talk to him..what does she have to chat to him about?
What do they have to say to each other? Her and the dude she was fucking behind your back? That guy..
Please just don't marry this woman if yall aren't already. And keep some STD tests on hand. Along with paternity ones.
You seem like a sucker for punishment and will probably end up raising a kid that isn't yours. Sooooooo…. be safe i guess?
Enjoy ur relationship with the woman that treats ur trust like a dirty dish rag she can dispose at will!
Cost of living is astronomical and only getting higher, and he doesn’t want to support a student, and therefore also likely wouldn’t be able to get a mortgage these days as a single income 28 year old.
Excellent post! I can’t even believe some asshat came by here to claim this was just man behavior. No, it fucking is not! This is selfish asshole behavior, which many of us women figure out when we date good men, comparable to the (hopefully very infrequent) occasional asshats. My fiancé and I both have pretty high sex drives. Sometimes on a different clock. However, we respect each other and do not push, prod, and coerce if one of us is in the mood while the other isn’t. Case in point, last week I came home from the last 12 hour overnight shift out of three days in a row. I was so exhausted I couldn’t even think straight. Crashed into bed and it soon became apparent that my fiancé was in the mood but I was painfully tired. Instead of being a shithead, or trying to coerce or even whine about it, he put the covers on me, tucked me in, kissed me goodnight on the cheek. He didn’t even ask for me to say no, he just read my body language and felt my sleep took priority over sex at that time. A good man cares about their parent even more so than getting their own rocks off.
Guess I read it wrong, I'll see myself out.
Well after reading all of that… I can't help but wonder if there's someone else behind the scenes. A lot of the signs are there: the reduction of sex, going from being adversarial to super clingy emotionally in short periods of time, distancing herself and blaming you for all these things that weren't issues before on top of the sudden breakup.
Stay friends with her. Don’t get back in a relationship. You’re in a rough place and getting back with her won’t magically fix everything in Your life. You will skip right over an important phase of life where you learn how to pull yourself up. Don’t use her as a crutch, figure it out on your own.
Plus, if you do get back with her, all you’ll think about is all the guys she tucked after breaking up with you, leading to a ton of resentment. Go your own way
You've got to know that he didn't forget anything, he planned this. If I were you, I'd be leaving. The level of disrespect is painful.
Oh, your dad is already planning on disowning you. I can smell the “Christian” martyr complex already.
He can't wait to tell everyone how you abandoned your fate or tell his trump buddies you're a liberal.
Cut your losses
Just love him and be grateful. Acknowledge that while you didn’t intend it, your behaviour may have hurt him. Maybe he needs to heal too.
He proposed, you said yes, the ring is a lab diamond.
Not seeing where any of it needed consultation with you, or was private information.
If it is to you – are you sure you are ready for a relationship?
But in this scenario it’s not completely out of left field considering they had an open relationship in the beginning. I could definitely see it being more a shock if they had always had the traditional monogamous relationship
And honestly both their feelings are valid. There are plenty of people who are poly or into swinging and then go into a monogamous relationship with someone. My uncle was one of them lmao.
It sounds like this relationship has come to a natural conclusion. There's nothing wrong with ending things if you're unhappy.