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I am sorry you are going through this. I was once with somebody who was not 100% in it, it ended with me feeling lonely and resentful because I felt like I was giving it my all to make up for the fact that he was not all in. It is very lonely and heart breaking. Like being in a relationship by yourself. You do not want to end up with somebody who is not as invested as you are.
I think he is being kind and respectful by openly communicating and being direct with you. He is not stringing you along, he is saying he is not 100% into it. Ask yourself, do you want to be with somebody who isn’t 100% in it with you?
The best thing you can do is give him the space and time he is asking for. Let him figure it out for himself. You should also do the same. Do not let it linger though. I think the worst part of a break is not knowing what is going on which might feel like you are in limbo. I think it’s reasonable to set a time for both of you. It could be 2 weeks, 3 weeks and by then I think the answer should be pretty clear for the both of you.
It is better to find this out now at the 1 year mark rather than getting blind sided at 8 years. Good luck!
You are probably right but it has nothing to do with you or how attractive you are. Your boyfriend puts me in mind of the guy who buys a car he is nuts about but after a while looks at other models. He is bored with you and that is because you were his toy and not his lover, a sure sign of immaturity. Face reality, dump him and take some me-time. Go out, enjoy yourself and forget about him. A man (not a boy) who truly loves you and sees you as the the key to happiness is out there. You deserve to be loved, cherished and appreciated. Good luck 🙂
Ok, give an example if something small, and how you blow it up?
Fuck me lol. Got my comment back and forths confused ? ?
Cut him off and block him!
You’re FWB. She doesn’t owe you any plans, chats or explanations. That’s the point.
A DWB is someone you hook up with whenever you’re both in the mood. That is all.
I assumed I’d come here to focus on hormones, but while that could certainly be in play, that she’s still in the mood suggests that there might be something bigger.
You can’t just let her brush it off. You need to insist on a real conversation and if it doesn’t happen, then you should consider couple’s counseling.
Sexual compatibility is important in a healthy relationship. It might be just one piece of a much larger puzzle, but it’s a piece nonetheless. Again, her pregnancy and what comes with it can’t be ignored, and like anything else, if she’s truly not in the mood then she’s not in the mood. It’s obviously not something you can force.
But that also doesn’t change the fact that you exist and have needs. To be clear, I’m not even making some “men have needs” stereotype of a statement. I think that statement is nonsense if for no other reason than women enjoy sex too, and your wife proves as much.
Your “needs” are the needs you have as a partner that you learn through dating whether or not align with your partner to assess compatibility. We assume you had a good sex life, or at least one you were satisfied with (if that’s not the case then that changes things so you’ll have to confirm).
Now, you’re unhappy with it. All we currently know is it changed after pregnancy. So talk talk talk and then talk some more. Good luck.
I mean this in the kindest way possible.
If you’re worried about being paid back, nickel and diming, etc then you can’t afford to be dating
I have a fear of bugs and actually like rodents (like mice and rats) so it's literally feeding them that was the nope line for me. And I totally get not wanting to deal with a fish tank…I feel like I'm taking constant life support readings
Do it!!! Do it now!
Can anyone figure out exactly what happened here?
Guys are so insecure.
Whether you code switch or stick to who you are, being introduced to new guys always has that “Is this guy one of those?” worries attached.
Like I met a guy a few years back and we kind of got along (not like besties but a few shared interests). He was having some issues in his life and was having trouble finding a girlfriend and, at thirty, had just moved out of his parents house for the first time. He asked for some advice and I was happy to give it, teaching him basic things like budgeting and shopping and “the girls on the wall drive away the girls in the hall”. There were a few worrying things he said but I chalked it up to naivety and being sheltered by his family.
And then he got a girlfriend and his treatment of her was so fucking bad I felt complicit for helping him essentially trick her into thinking he was a normal guy. Pull a toxic masculinity trait out of a hat and he showed it in the space of a month. It was at the start of this period that I met his family for the first time and saw where he got it from.
We're at that point where so many guys my age and even a bit lower were raised to think that wasn't just normal but admirable, so it's risky to build any kind of relationship with them. Add in those who code switch around other guys for survival and it's fucking exhausting.
She needs therapy probably.
There is an issue here. Those guys seem “better” as she knows for a short time, they have contact only when they feel like it, and they want to get in her pants.
Similar issue is sometimes true in families. Child thst lives nearby and takes care of their older parents is seen as worse than a child that visit a few times a year. This is, because when this other does visit, they have time and energy to spend with their parent. They can afford it precisely, because of how rare it is. From perspective of a parent however the other child is better as whenever they see him he puts a lot of effort for them. The first son meanwhile might literally sustain entire life of his parent, and has no energy or intention of being happy about it and spend all their time with them either.
Simply speaking, it is easy to put a lot effort temporarily to seem as a great person. Everyday life as life partner is much harder.
It is something people can learn by experience, but since you are basically your gf only ever partner she does not have this experience.
Yes
If the people around you who you want to introduce your boyfriend of **two years** to will react badly to him because he's a burns victim, you're surrounded by the wrong people. I feel terrible for the poor guy – does he know the reason you've been hiding him?
You need help. Like professional help. This is so twisted, and the fact that you didn’t see it as manipulative and, frankly, fucking creepy, is telling. Your moral center is off, and you need to address that asap.
I completely understand and am fully aware it is an issue of my own. Had it be that this was a brand new relationship I would take time and work on myself. However before this I my trust issues were contained I never freaked out and was always reasonable, when she goes on nights out I’m perfectly happy for her to, I drop her off and I pick her up. However a holiday, contaminated by constant alcohol, and maybe even substances and partying unsettles me a huge amount.
I’ve been groomed, etc, that’s really not it.
Literally what everyone who has been groomed thinks. But this is a 45 year old man dating a woman young enough to be his daughter and there is a reason for that. And it's not because of how “mature for your age!” you are.
I will soooooo watch this movie
She is an adult in a realtionship.
She is way too old to have sleepovers, especially with someone she probably has a past sexual history with. Whether they both claims there is no attraction anymore, it's basic prinicple.
Ask her how she would feel if you had an ex staying the night with you, or just some random person. You will either get your answer or gaslight beyond belief.