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Model from: co
Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 1998-10-10
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Gross. Everything you said is gross.
Yeah, something is off. Why do fucked up people like you exist?
It's strange how people can hear “someone was raped” and then blame the victim.
You insulted him in a backed-handed way, derby, goofy, ‘the right one and think he’ll fuck up’, damn if a man wrote this. thing guaran-fuck-teed people would be screaming for you to be leaving him for the abuse. Not supportive, putting parents before him, looking down on him, so on.
No, she probably fucked him before and wanted a pass to keep doing it. Also she was in a different city so probably fucked him again after the call.
Since you guys don't live! together, that is helpful. Stop responding to him, block him on all forms of social media, inform your family and friends that you have broken up with him and you do not want them to give him any information about you and they are not to come to you on his behalf. Be prepared for him to show up at your job or your home tell him you are done you don't ever want to see him again and if he doesn't leave your property you will be calling the police for trespassing and harassment, if he does not leave or if it continues then follow through. This guy sounds like he has his own mental issues
He’s a creep
She's gaslighting and manipulating you to accept her disrespect. You should move on. This will only get worse
Sounds like your ex doesn't give a shit about what you want or what you need.
Good for you walking away, people like that don't change and marriage only magnifies things like this.
You're right. Its very hot making decisions like these and feeling so complicated,loved by them yet afraid of them too. Thank you for your reply and your opinion
She doesn't need any advice from a student. I'm 10 years older than my gf. We met liked each other started dating. I knew she was a little younger when I met her but neither one of us knew our ages till after several weeks of dating hanging out etc.
He's freeloading off you. Walk away.
I sincerely hope so, because I’m 39 and my dad is 70 ?
At the end of the day, while it’s true that you are young and your dad is paying your tuition, you are an adult. If it’s not a dealbreaker for you then this shouldn’t be an issue. Personally I think your parents are being a bit closed minded about this. As a college grad myself, I will tell you that going to college isn’t the flex it was 20 years ago. There are plenty of people who go to college, are up to their ears in debt, and still can’t find a job that satisfies the return on their investment.
I learned waaaaay more in my first 6 months working at a start up than I did in 4 years of college (tech industry, obviously there are certain fields where college is imperative). If your parents pay for it, enjoy the 4 year vacay and try to learn something and get some good internships while you’re at it.
But that’s not really the point of this post — the point is, what are your expectations of a long term partner? Does your bf have long term career goals, and how does he plan to achieve them? These are the important things to be looking at. Having a partner who goes to college doesn’t automatically indicate that they will be successful, and the reverse is true as well. Again, you’re an adult, so it really only matters if having a career-focused partner is something that is important to you (which I’m thinking it is since you made this post).
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He gay as hell
She is definitely into him imo
who the f goes out drinking on christmas eve leaving their wife and small children at home alone? christmas is for family once you have a family.
you're acting like a single frat boy vs. a father of two, selfish and self serving. get your shit together bro
How much pain you must be in? I hope you have people in your life you can process this with. Or just have them listen sometimes that’s the best therapy is just knowing that you have people in your life who will just listen and have some empathy with what you’re going through. I know we’re telling you what to do because I think that we have to decide that for ourselves but I know sometimes for me it’s nice to get different ideas and suggestions from other people, especially those who don’t know me, kind of like what you’re doing here on Reddit. They tend to give a unbiased view of what’s happening. Many have experience or something similar to what one’s going through.
I have found it helpful in the past with things that cost me a lot of pain or if I’m in a considerable amount of what I call “ turbulence, or darkness” in my life. And when I say that I don’t mean bad by any means. I tend to get a therapist. I have the same one for years. I’m not always with her just in times of need. Kind of work through and get some ideas.
For me moments like this have always been growth spurts. Where I can learn about myself and others. As painful as they are I take them as opportunities. Sometimes they’re debilitating and I can’t see the forest for the trees. I don’t see a way out. It’s like I’m fighting in a paper bag, a wet paper bag , but eventually somehow someway I bust through and I believe that’s what’s gonna happen for you. I know it is. I just don’t know when or how. That’s your path and you get to choose that. I can’t tell you how I neither can anyone else. But I know you can do it in your time and in your way. But there’s a lot of beautiful amazing suggestions on here that you could try. It’s kind of like a puzzle piece you take it and you see if it fits and if it doesn’t, you don’t throw it away you just put it to the side because you might be able to use it later in life. I wish you the best. I wish you happiness and joy that you can find that again a life of ease a life of prosperity. Whatever that means to you and that you find yourself once more please take care.
Yeah I commented a bunch on his posts about this and have to let it go because he's so uninformed it's actually painful. I just helped my friend leave a long term relationship in which they weren't married and it was equally if not more complicated because they weren't married, and they live! in a province with pretty strong common laws. But it was still hugely messy and complicated and she ended up giving up a lot of money because she just didn't want to deal with it. Had they been married it wouldn't have been as naked to pursue it. Ugh
Love isn't enough for a healthy relationship. It takes work. I mea', it already takes work working on yourself, evolving and growing up, how could it not take work to do it with someone else whose thoughts you can't read!
Cool. I'm going to move on now. Bye-bye.
there is no dick in the world this good
Your relationship goals seem to not be aligned. Also after six years and all those years of being the breadwinner, are you sure he has any ambition? Go back to him and tell him you'll pay for the wedding, but you want a pre-nup. Love to see what he says to that?
You're right
Look at this as a new beginning. You can do ANYTHING.
I hope you are staying safe and he is unable to track you. Most people take many attempts to finally leave their abusers for good. But you had the courage and do it and jump into the unknown.
But I'm going to be real, your situation is super tight. You may have to take a risk and find a job other than cleaning gigs. But keep trying. Don't stop. And never go back. If you go back the abuse will be much worse, even if he begs for forgiveness. Abusers don't change. They manipulate.
Just stay strong. One day you'll look back on this and thank your younger self for being free of this. And your story will motivate others in the same shoes as you. It's time for you to make a new story and shine!
Jesus Christ dude, she is a predator.
Thats whats confusing how does a look make her feel accused? Im curious of what that looks like aswell.
If she don't love you then there's nothing you can do to get her back. She's moving on, and if you don't, you're just gonna turn her off more by looking possessive and stalkerish. Don't be that guy.
She's your first love. That doesn't mean she's your true or final love. And if she's already made her decision that you're not that for her either, then there is pretty much only heartbreak in your future…
… or a restraining order if she starts to feel threatened.
You're a good friend, your others don't really seem like it, definitely don't share your stuff with them because you know they aren't gonna replace it if they break it now
Nope. Unless either you will clean by yourself or nagging to clean.
You can't. Either he's a grownup or he isn't. Looks like he isn't.
I can see where your gf is coming from, as a trans woman myself, there is a tremendous issue with fetishization and chasers. For every 100 guys interested, only one will actually see you for who you are.
What's not okay is calling you a chaser for no reason, and saying she settled for you. That's a big no-no. She acted like a huge asshole, and her friends are even worse.
I would not be suprised if those friends talked her into believing that you are only with her as a small step towards gay relationships. It's unfortunately a very common talking point.
Perfect. Especially after therapy. Anything but his birthday.
She’s not dating you, she’s using you. I’m sorry. Please consider talking to a counselor
I don’t think she’s your GF. I think you’re her fuck buddy.
This post exemplifies so many where the OP has been gaslighted, trickle-truthed and manipulated to the point where they don't know what is up or down any more.
? you went from civil conversation to claiming victimhood so quickly there. Impressive skill
stop caring about it so damn much. You are married. You have children together. You and she have already made a committment to each other. If she doesn't want to change her name, then stop bugging her about it and let her keep her last name. It won't change your committment to each other or your marriage to LET IT GO.
On the other hand, keep nagging her about it. Keep insisting on getting your way on something that is important to her but relatively trivial in scheme of things and see how fast your committment, and your marriage, dissolve.
this should absolutely not be your hill to die on.
Absolutely! I can’t even imagine how filthy this man’s ass must be to leave bed linens in this condition. ?
Yours is the best comment yet. Bar none?
If she has to take your advice for point #1, she may be better off looking for a new boyfriend as well. A partner should be supportive, not competitive
Realistically, the question you should be asking yourself is why you haven't already spoken to a lawyer. He's disrespectful, cheating on you, and is abusive. I'm sorry you're dealing with all that.
But even if we were to ignore the details, you need to decide if it's a deal breaker or not. You want him to apologize. He's not going to. Nothing we say is going to get him to apologize. The reality is that he's not going to because he's learned over ten years that he can be a complete asshole, because there's never been any consequences for his actions.
Don't excuse any of this to depression and childhood trauma. That he's not getting help for it means nothing's ever going to change. Good luck and stay safe.
Yes it is weird that a 20 year old is dating a 35 year old. What do you even have in common?
If you didn't give her any reasons to be jealous, she is being unreasonable. Having lunch with your coworker close to your work location is super normal.
He's hurting you don't trust him wtf I'm sorry but why wouldn't he tell you? Unless he's seeing someone else and is hiding that from you ? I would be highly suspicious ?
This
Body pillow, we call it “pillow wife”. He literally can’t get to me past the wall of pillow between us.
Also, I know you want to change things and you want to convince her to be with you. Sometimes no matter what you do it doesn’t make any difference.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to tell her that you deserve to be in a committed relationship with someone who values you and treats you with respect. And if she can’t do that you need to cut contact.
Yeah check what’s OK to feed a dog because you can’t feed them grapes they do something to them so I don’t know about strawberries. But I would check live!. Google it and see what’s OK. And good for you. Good for trying to do that.
She didn't even come clean when you confronted her in the beginning.
She's not sorry that she sexted, she's sorry that she got caught!
if you dont have anything nice to say just scroll past my post
He is intentionally trying to hurt you and make himself feel good and seem superior. Dump this trash.
No one with half a brain would constantly try to correct a British person’s pronunciation. That’s just stupid.
Good lord quit thinking he’s brilliant, it’s making you crazy. He’s not brilliant he’s an idiot that’s convinced you he’s smart.
It’s both the fact that it’s sexual in nature and the frequency. I’m ashamed to admit it but yes there is a slight disconnect there.
It’s triggering because it reminds me of my SA.
Im scared because I don’t want to break up with him. I want us to work out but I’m scared it won’t because I can’t handle his sense of humor.
I think your friend likes you, and I think she just doesn’t have any class around men. She doesn’t know how to do it or tell you she may even think you’d like that stuff. You just made a good point sometimes less is more. So I think it’s a good reason to part from her anyway, you don’t seem to have any interest in her like that.
Just use the tired. Excuse that you’re busy until she drifts away. I wish adults could talk to each other that’s way where we said the things we really meant but I think it’s very hot for people to do that. I’m not even sure that she could hear you. I wish sometimes people would use these posts because there’s so directing honest and that’s where they can’t be in real life. Good luck to you.
Yes
No I’m not moving to California I am in California that’s why I’m leaving but I was trying to find a job before I left and save some more and it’s been impossible finding a job here.
Yeah im not getting turned on by this dude at all
If she's not allowing you to have friends – thats toxic and abusive. Abusers often make sure their victims don't have anyone to go to for help.
If she's threatening to break up to get you to do what she wants – thats toxic and manipulative. I think the term is emotional blackmail.
If she doesn't trust you around other girls – your relationship is already over – can't have a relationship without trust in my opinion.
If you can't have a normal discussion without bursting out in anger – you have anger issues and poor communication skills.
It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me. I'd break up. But thats my conclusion from what you just wrote. I have no idea what her perspective of it is. I dont have the full story.
Just want to get this out there for your boyfriends sake and maybe to knock some dental hygiene sense into him, my brother had to have all his teeth pulled by his mid thirties due to poor dental hygiene. All of them. He's not even forty and is in dentures. Does your boyfriend want to end up there because that his where he is heading.
Not to mention how close all of this is occurring to his brain. If he gets an infection from poor hygiene, it only has a short distance to go to get there.
Honestly though, I do get depression and poor hygiene. I had a few years I slacked off and eneded up with ten cavities for punishment. However, you are his partner. He should care that you don't want to be close to him or kiss him. That's a big deal and a relationship killed.
If he can't wake up, it may be in your best interest to just leave.
I only wanted it for the first time at least. The rest dont matter
If you want to avoid drama, avoid social media
Oh, my god.. Almost word for word what I wrote for OP.
She is so hung up on an apology..!
Like, WTF, girl..?!
If he's your friend, then he'll let you go completely because that's what's necessary for your psychological health. You need to completely cut yourself off from him. It can take up to a year and a half to completely get over somebody, and based on how tangled and confused your feelings are for him, I'm guessing it's going to take at least a year or more of no contact with him to completely move on.
Tell her to pull her head out of her arse.
You were tired, you had a headache, and you were not told that you were to expect a guest.
Starting with the guest – as a good host, SHE should have informed you that the guest was there, a quick text to you saying xyz stopped buy and we’re having coffee (wine, beers etc) and a chat.
She didn’t, so any ‘failure’ is on her as well as you.
As for being tired and having a headache, if she doesn’t except that as an excuse, then neither should you, so I say remind her of it every time she uses it to not have sex.
“Sorry can’t tonight I have a headache/I’m too tired” “Sorry those are not excuses anymore, remember you said so on xyz date”
And sorry, but this friend is her good friend, not yours. And as a good friend, they are not a guest, but part of the furniture, and as such, saying what did is perfectly acceptable.
Good luck friend
One thing I wondered reading the post is why is “accident” in quotes?
OP never said she changed her party for him, only the initial idea was Vegas, and now its no. It's just speculation to assume she changed it for him, and OP isn't really responding to anything and it's a brand new account, this is probably not even a real post.
You like him for the ego boost he gives you so congrats, you’re both shallow.
Even though I'm a very young father, There's nothing wrong with me besides being a good father unlike what they're trying so very hot to make me out to be, so this case shouldn't be that naked to win imo. But what do I care, I've never been through the court system.
Ok, that's bullshit. If you're going to keep being married, and you're going to keep providing the sole income , you deserve a new agreement about the division of labor….and I am so glad you are considering therapy. The input & guidance of a disinterested third party can be invaluable and having a “referee” helps ensure that you are attacking the problems rather than attacking each other.
This is a ridiculous take. A manager having lunch with an employee during a weekly meeting is completely normal behavior in North American office culture. What do you do for a living?
What???
Companies DO have codes of conduct!
Eating in the office is strictly forbidden in many companies as it involves the risk of workpapers getting messy.
I work in a government position and this is absolutely not a “code of conduct” or rule of any kind.
We regularly have lunch together male & female. Supervisors are not allowed to date anyone working under them or in the same department.
Supervisors have paid for my and other employees coffees/lunch/dinners on many occasions and is not at all frowned upon.
We also regularly have trainings/meetings where coffee/breakfast may be provided. And work papers getting messy is not of concern. Most loose papers are for personal use anyways because everything is done electronically for the most part.
I absolutely understand where you're coming from and I appreciate that. As I said in my post I had heard of the problems. However I didn't know the full extent of the problem. Maybe he didn't come to me immediately, and who knows, maybe he never would have. The fact of the matter is, this is where we are, and as I said, I have proof of what happened between both parties involved. There's nothing the police would be able to do. Most he could have done was gotten a restraining order.
The Bogdanoffs serve as a cautionary tale once again.
Hey, great job on cancelling the appointments and looking into the real cause of your issues. Proud of you!
Yup. I'm aware of my psychology and would rather work on that while being with a partner that is compatible with me.
Plenty of men are like this and nothing is inherently wrong with them.
it's possible but unlikely in this circumstance. For example, a guy friend of mine slept with a man “to see if he'd like it” and he didn't.
Either she already is in a relationship with another woman or she is planning to have some random hookup. Neither sounds like relationship material.
If that’s what she would do then your marriage is already dead
Honestly just the worst update! I wish OP luck and better judgement!
Thankful that I saw the comment that mentioned your post history. Your relationship died years ago. You've been cheating on her as per your OnlineAffairs subreddit activity which is sad. It really puts your post in a different light. Emotional cheating is still cheating and that is never okay. Tell her now, there's no use is dragging this out any further
She practically has laid the words to say into OPs mouth.
It is like porn but with the freedom to fuck them if they allow you??? That is not porn that is strip club.
Let me get this down for you…. the alcoholic or the cheater had the characteristic trait to go to strip clubs but then you can't connect the dots???? Someone that has low morals will go to the strip club and that follows him in every aspect of his/hers life. He/she is not someone to trust and that is exactly because he can't control his emotions and his dick.