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Automatically no. And the fact he even thinks that’s appropriate shows a total lack of respect for you.
Thanks. He was lol, I am also glad he’s an ex!
I definately agree a therapist is very much in order but a one hour appointment once or twice a week is far from the end, a partner who's able to facilitate a good communication and helps you build your confidence to work on those skills given by the professional is the best option to recovery. Going at it alone will hardly help this girl and if anything him breaking up with her will almost indefinitely cause her mental state to plummet
You are dating her not them. It's your life not theirs. Don't let them take control of your emotions for another or you will regret it. You are your own person, parents can disagree but not enforce unless you are not legally an adult
What advice are you looking for?
This is the worst part my friend. It stings a little less from here but it will sting you a lot, believe me. Become obsessed with something that will make you a better man not for her, but for yourself. Tell yourself you deserve it because you do. You will come back from this.
She’s recovering from giving birth, has a ton of hormonal shifts going on and is breastfeeding all night. Even if OP is doing all of the diaper changes, and housework, she’s still exhausted and recovering. OP the counseling was a good call. She might have some post partum depression or anxiety, but it’s still really early. To me it sounds like you think you’re doing most of the work, meanwhile she is recovering from giving birth and is now breastfeeding 24/7. I’m sure she’s picking up on this resentment. Go to the marriage counseling, but expect to recalibrate your expectations of your role, not the other way around.
Did you know that as a man you can also take steps to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of STDs?
First of all, I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this. As I saw another commenter suggestion, long term you might want to look into seeing if you can break your lease and get out of that neglectful relationship. If your boyfriend is having that much trouble getting off the games, and only spends time with you when he is feeling bad, the that time is no longer genuine.
Second of all I've never had a girlfriend, so I don't know how I'd actually act, but the amount of time your boyfriend spends playing games and neglecting life is frighteningly relatable for me.
I hope that you find a way out of this relationship, and never find yourself in another one. I can confirm, videogames have a frighteningly addictive nature when you find one you really enjoy. My only hope is that if you find another guy that enjoys gaming, he has a hell of a lot more control over the influence gaming has on his life.
Please reply when you can and let us know when you are safe
She could have genital warts. Happened to a friend and my sister. Sex is very painful. See a gynecologist it can be cured.
It could be nothing or it could be a sign of things to come. Alcohol is fun and culturally acceptable, but it wears down your liver and for many leads to an early death.
Maybe one or more drinks was over-poured. Maybe you had a reaction. But if you look it up, more than 4 drinks a day for women is excessive. Ok, you normally drink more. Is it worth the risk of this happening again?
Clearly you feel bad. I suggest using this experience to guide your future decisions. For many people it does get worse.
Mom has decided to leave us all. I still love you, will never leave you and we will get through this together.
Lots of therapy.
Chick sounds crazy.
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Yes, I get what you're saying.
I'm glad I've made this post because you guys are talking some sense into me.
thank you really
Start making a habit of complimenting positive character traits instead of the physical.
“I admire how hardworking you are.” “I love how kind you are.” “You're so thoughtful.”
etc etc..
This will help reinforce more thought and discussion about deeper characteristics, not just for him but also for you.
Good luck!
Info: how would you feel if her dad or male friend came over and spanked you.
Did she participate in the sex, or just lie there asleep?
Because her daughter wouldn’t be hitting and biting if she wasn’t getting rewarded with toys.
Well, you’re trusting an 18 or 19 year old with bc which can be complicated and condoms can fail so…shit happens
No, you're absolutely right, this is normal boo. I've never told my wife my name so she can't see my criminal record? What's in a name?! Lol you picked a winner ?
Do you have ANYTHING positive to say about him? I wouldn't put up with that for a week.
My sister married a Shawn 20some years ago.
I promise you he is just the same today as he was then.
He literally gags – yes, gags – when he smells bananas because he doesn't like the way they smell. He doesn't like fruits, veggies, “green” things, or “chunky things” in his sauces (ie veggies). The only veggie he eats is lettuce. I swear, his “salads” are lettuce and ranch.
He hasn't gained weight, but that's his metabolism. He does have high cholesterol, high blood pressure and diabetes type 2. They have 3 kids, 2 of whom eat very similarly to him, though they are branching out.
Your life will forever be like this. He will have days where he feels like shit, and you will be frustrated because you know it's because he doesn't take care of himself.
You are not his mother. Cook for yourself, and if he wants to eat it, great. If not, that's fine. Just know that if you want a partner in your health journey, this man isn't it.
You just have to determine if that's okay with you or not. No right or wrong universal answer here – just right or wrong for you.
I am truly glad. It's a massive accomplishment that we need to celebrate. People who haven't had the displeasure of living with an abusive partner will never truly understand what it's like and how very hot leaving is.
For me it's been 5 years on 25 March so we can almost celebrate together. I remember the date because it was the day after my birthday and it's the best gift that he ever got me that he would finally agree to the divorce I so desperately wanted.
Honey remember that you don’t owe anyone anything when it comes to getting an abortion. If you genuinely feel like an abortion is right for you in this situation, please do it. It will permanently remove any ties you have with this man
Do you think he might be experiencing a medical issue that affects his memory? Since this a change, I would explore that possibility first.
does anyone else think “rape” is like a massive leap from those comments? Sounds like “begrudgingly have sex with” not rape.
If you can't see that this is a healthy relationship then you're fucking delusional.
I don’t condone spray bottles for cats, they’re proven to be an unsuccessful training method, and unfortunately we on-line in a one bedroom apartment so there’s not a lot of space to section off. He has headphones but sometimes the cats jump up on his desk too!
Be very careful and do not get her pregnant, unless of course you want that then its all good.
So he has a bad attitude and negative emotions, yet he wants to punish his son because sometimes having negative emotions.
First, your son is a kid and doesn't know how to handle emotions and kids have emotions. Second, nobody should be punish for having emotions.
What's your husband's excuse for his bad attitude, though? Because he is 35 year olds than your son.
You should also see that he punishes you for not falling in line by giving you the silent treatment, so now he wants to punish his son for dumb reasons.
I would divorce because of what his bad example is setting for your son. This is not how an adult should behave. He also wants to punish him for things that are not punishable. You are going to end up with a teenager that's going to blow up in your hands if you continue like this. Your husband is toxic.
Next time you buy it, make sure she's with you. If she doesn't say anything, no need to mention it, y'all both know and it's not a problem.
He is paying for his leisure time with your domestic labor and decision making.
It's been years. It's time for him to stop taking advantage of the rules his grandfather had and you.
It really depends on what you're willing to stand for. Are you willing and able to break your marriage for this? Only you can answer that, but I've never heard of a situation like this resolving itself without the husband being made to understand that it's start being an adult and take responsibility for his home, or you will go clean up after yourself.
Is this the rest of your life?
Please work on your self respect and not make people think you’re a door mat. This is not a relationship you should want to be in.
Time to bail on her
I heard this phrase recently and I really like it: you don’t get what you want, you get what you tolerate.
Yeah, I would say to him that I know I'm not a supermodel but I want my life partner to make me feel like I'm a 10 to him. That I'm HIS person. And since he's only giving you “average” ratings and clearly wants you to change your personality, that you deservexto find someone who loves you as you are.
You will find your person OP. Don't settle.
You’re not withholding sex. “Withholding” implies she has a right to or is entitled to sex, and she does not. You have chosen to not have sex, which is completely your right. You choosing not to have sex is not withholding sex from her.
The possibility exists that “every other girlfriend knew CATEGORICALLY that HE would NOT be their child’s father” so “agreeing” with him simply made that choice for them.
Uh, they were broken up at the time, so none of those points matter.
OP wasn't his girlfriend when he fucked her, so that is all irrelevant.
Oh my god I meant wouldn’t!
The non alcohol is on you. It's not for you to decide if someone wants to drink or not. On the flip side, try going out together to do activities with others that don't involve alcohol such as hikes or something.
how did he cause it?
Your GF is totally out of line. She knew full well what his intentions are this entire time. She was perfectly fine hanging out with him at the dinner and hanging out with him after the wedding, all the while making you an oblivious fool. You have it exactly right; she had you acting as wingman for this dude.
Did she tell the bride to keep him away from her? Did she tell you she didn’t want to hang out with him when he was trying to sneak his way into your relationship?
Your GF is either into him and wants to see where it goes or she likes the attention, either of which is something I wouldn’t put up with in a committed relationship, especially at her age.
BRUH YOU CANNOT READ FR. OUR CHILD IS NOT UNBORN HES BEEN EARTH SIDE FOR A WHILE. & LIKE I SAID MUTUAL FRIENDS HAVE TOLD ME. AND LIKE I SAID MY FIANCÉ IS THE ONE WHO SAID HE WANTS THOSE PICTURES DELETED OFF SOCIAL MEDIA FROM WHO EVER HAS POSTED THEM ON THEIR ACCOUNTS. YOU ARE LITERALLY SO DULL
Time for you to move out of this relationship hope you didn’t get rid of your moving boxes
I assure you that the silent treatment isn't much better for your kids.
Please try to work something out with your wife for healthier communication. Obviously, yelling and screaming sucks, but kids know when parents aren't speaking. That's just as scary as yelling.
I had both in my house growing up. Both signified that something big was wrong, and if often was.
Try marriage therapy, if needed, have your wife talk to her doctor if her cycle is that bad – whatever it takes.
I wish you all the best.
Honestly, my only suggestion is the use of adult toys, specifically for penetrative activities.
nor do you…I do though, since I asked the same question and OP answered it… you aint stopping anyones 'gob'..you keep riding that rage pony though