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Yeah he lied to you about that so I'm pretty sure he lied about other things too, plus he had photos but there aren't any of him doing anything right, well that's because his friend was busy with a girl/s while he was busy with one, so who was gonna take those pictures, Casper maybe lol ??? (sorry I think it's funny how he tries to hide his FCK up) Considering the story you just told, I think a lot of would agree your husband shagged it up with a girl there. You know this to be true why try to deny it, and deep down in your gut you know what you must do, kicking him out was a great thing to do, don't second guess yourself on this, know your worth!
Hey quick update I am in the process of moving to a city in my province and my new company carries benefits for therapy and I have started seeing a therapist. Only once because I was only there for a day and will be paying out of pocket until Benefits kick in. I have 3 more weeks here until I'm officially moved there.
'I'll only bang if we can cuddle afterwards'.
You easily have the leverage in this negotiation.
Or run!
“Hey we need to talk. Something really upsetting happened on vacation that I've been trying to process and I'm ready to talk to you about it now.” Explain to him what you said to us here.
He can skateboard but has chronic lower back pain? And can bend and lift laundry? But can't do anything that requires thinking? Either he's severely depressed or he's using you. What kind of work does he do? Plays games, boards, and vapes. Don't think you'll ever get much more out of him, to be honest.
That sounds like a good idea. I might bring it up with my girlfriend, and see how she would feel about me trying it out, and then reevaluating from there. And thanks for the caution, those are some things I should consider when thinking it over.
Even if she isn’t cheating she doesn’t seem to care or put you first. Ultimatum time counseling and more time together or else. You need to prepare yourself to go through with the what else. Yo
It's the sex isn't it
You are cheating on him by going on coffee dates with a dude you want to bang. Move on and cut contact or end things with your boyfriend so he can find someone that values him properly
Petition the court for full custody. This isn't your fault. Fight to keep the house, and kids, so they can maintain a stable home environment.
Wait, is your wife a teacher or a SAHM? You're contradicting yourself now.
You are not alone. I do the same.
XD
He doesn't feel safe communicating his feelings with you and fears your response.
I’m wondering if there is a history of trauma with OP. Sounds like that kinds of response. With that said, there is no excuse to ever put hands on your partner, and it merits a serious conversation and significant changes for the relationship to even continue. Substances are definitely not helping OP.
He wanted to manipulate your feelings. He wanted a sense of control over you.
Did you ever respond to those texts?
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You should grow up.
How do you know you're pregnant if you haven't even missed your period yet? Why would you abort before killing yourself? Why would your sister keep it up after you said you were going to kill yourself, then have a full conversation about the gun? This is a bad fake
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Perfect. That means you can put some distance between him and yourself if you go there. Call them and ask them if you can stay with them for a while.
Jesus, run.
This is so incredibly troubling. Get. Out. Yesterday.
I’m a bisexual woman and I do not kiss other girls ever when I’m in a relationship, no matter the amount of alcohol involved. It would be cheating. If you’ve explicitly said you’re okay with that in your relationship that’s fine, but it’s certainly not something that girls just do
Do you think she’s possibly in denial about the relationship? When she’s “fixing things” she’s always saying how she keeps trying to force her fiancé to do hobbies with her but he won’t, and stuff like that.
Oh stop. Those reasons should be enough of a “no” and men should move along but they don't. Don't blame the women for the fact that men just won't stop.
I will say this though, I feel like a caring sexual partner would check in at some point, regardless of gender.
Unless you're really good at hiding them, I feel like most people with a sense of empathy would've picked up on the signs that you were uncomfortable at some point during.
I know you've already been told this but it's worth repeating: It's always okay to say no, for any or no reason, even if it makes things awkward for a bit. If they're worth your time, they'll completely understand, not blame you and just accept it.
Your wife is going to give your child an eating disorder. She needs some serious therapy.
I know, I'm saying he probably knew you were serious and just pushed it anyway.
I’m not sure how the dynamic works at home, but I think it’s time you have a long and nude talk about this together with a doctor. Like even if it makes him upset, you just gotta make him go through that nude conversation. Maybe even consider talking to a therapist about this because it definitely sounds like he’s using binge eating as a coping mechanism.
It’s important that you don’t pretend you don’t know this.
You know she isn’t all that into you. You KNOW it now.
You honestly can’t have a happy ending with this woman.
I’m not sure how the dynamic works at home, but I think it’s time you have a long and nude talk about this together with a doctor. Like even if it makes him upset, you just gotta make him go through that nude conversation. Maybe even consider talking to a therapist about this because it definitely sounds like he’s using binge eating as a coping mechanism.
The gf made nonsexual contact on a train sexual. She is 100% the problem, as a person who uses the subway for their commute.
She needs to avoid dense population centers until the concept that people can brush bodies and it doesn't mean that they want to fuck her bf or her.
“We didn’t use any birth control but I still feel tricked!”
Know what they call men who pull out? Fathers.
Nothing about having a baby stops travel from happening. My kid isn’t even 2 yet and has traveled a whole lot. We decided before we got pregnant that we would keep doing the things we like. And we did. Now she just comes with us. It’s a different experience but still a great one.
Yeah she can’t control your life like that and then expect to be able to do whatever she wants.
I am with him on this. I do not want bikini pictures on the wall.
Also, if you did it FOR him as a valentines gift, why are you so offended at how and where he keeps his gift?
First piece of wisdom for you is, you started with her right after her ex and she broke up. That makes you the “rebound relationship.” Those almost never last. They serve to tamp down the person's feelings of loss and sometimes anger at the end of a prior relationship, but they are not a well reasoned choice of new mate – usually, just a matter of convenience.
You already know FWB is a time-limited phenomenon. Among other risks, one person usually catches feelings.
Another piece of relationship lore is that sometimes after being sexually involved, it's nude to go back to being “just friends.” For this reason friends often decline to get romantically involved, because they want to maintain a friendship.
It looks to me like your FWB's distancing is normal and expected. Unfortunately, you can't do much about it. Don't pursue her. Instead, look for new dating opportunities.
Single mom of two kids; please don’t go further with this relationship. She’s unstable and it’s not worth being in an unstable relationship. You’re going to suffer a lot. It just won’t be a good quality life. She needs to stabilize herself first before she even starts a relationship.
And. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t enter into a lifetime commitment and expect him to change. Recipe for disaster.
The particulars of each partner's preferences are not as important as flexibility about them. Anything one person is absolutely inflexible about is an issue separate from the actual kink. Gotta work out one, then the other.
You know he would go younger if he legally could, right?
This is exactly what I was thinking. They’re already married how is their older parents dating going to be an issue? Sure it’ll be uncomfortable for a bit but get over it. They deserve to be happy.
Oh — if you have an issue around him prioritizing his life & finances, that would perhaps have changed my answer had I known?
Yeh I had a feeling it was a new thing…she's unhappy about something imo …talk to her not us ??
Thankfully she does not mind being an absolutely shit human being.
Ok the message was harshly put but you took the message and made yourself better. Confidence is dripping out of your pores as you have fixed what many fail to do. You are hero and you’re wife is your ally!!!!!!
Why do you feel anyway regarding likes on a stupid website is the real question. Go touch grass, it’s social media. That’s all.
This is a really good one. I had an ex disbelieve me and just straight up say he wanted to see a test from the doctor. Boy, knowing someone had that opinion of me was the cherry on top of the cake of getting an abortion.
Made the right choice though!
Sometimes ladies will treat men like that because they really like them as just friends but the only way to be sure is to ask her out. Maybe go for dinner or go see a movie, or even just go for a walk. Give it a try and you may be surprised.
There's worse alternatives for what she's doing than the one I am hoping. People when they lose a relationship sometimes become irrational regarding that relationship. Either this is a stage of grief of OP's wife, or she's just as racist as her dad.
BTW, stages of grief are – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. They can present in different ways. And it is perfectly natural to grieve a loss of a relationship as it is to grieve the loss of life. It is possible (and I am hoping) that OP's wife is in a bargaining stage of the loss of her relationship with her dad, she's hoping he would change. It's extremely likely he hasn't. But people in this state aren't rational. And people are humans, they are full of flaws and potential and possibility to change. I'd rather hope the best than condemn someone to the worst.
Hence the compromise that if he has sex with our friend, I will be involved until I am comfortable. I just don't really have the desire to sleep with anyone besides him, and it's not that hes trying to be totally open, to the extent that before our relationship we used to talk about him experimenting with one of our other friends he was curious about and recently he has said he's no longer interested, and not at all with strangers. The fact that I'm emotionally struggling with it is what I'm trying to figure out, I want to be able to either understand how he finds it so okay or better describe why I don't.
You owe her nothing. She dumped you and has very quickly moved on. She’s shown you she doesn’t give a shit about you.
Tell her to collect her crap herself that you’re no longer dating so you aren’t obliged to give in to her selfish demands.
Honestly sit down and talk to your dad. Let him know you want him to walk you down the aisle. Roger and everyone else can assume what they want. You do not owe him that role. If someone gets hurt at least they are older than 7 and can manage that pain.
In that case, unfortunately, you'd have to block yourself.
They have had that conversation. He knows that she used to be on birth control and that she currently is not.
Dump him first
This is him. If he enjoyed it, he will do it again.
Very short sighted on his part since he enjoyed everything else you were doing apparently. He's an idiot. Good riddance. You'll find someone better.
It's not really “helping out” though, is it? That kinda makes it sound like its her job and you're just assisting. An issue that comes up a lot on here is that chores are more than just doing them. Knowing when they need to be done is half the battle and if your partner feels like you aren't pulling your weight there and they have to “ask” you to do things, then it's not a fair split because it relies on your partner being, essentially, the manager in charge of tracking and delegating on top of their own chores.
Ideally neither of you would ever have to ask each other with common household chores. Maybe sit down and work out a plan as far as who does what chores and how often they need to be done, and then make yourself a calendar or reminder or whatever you need to get your portion done without her ever having to say anything.
Next look for her burner phone.
My question is OP so interested in being controlled?
Why quit a medication that was working?
Why have a sleepover the night before a big exam?
This guy is an asshole, obviously, but unless OP makes some personal changes she’s just going to find another terrible guy to date… she didn’t even stand up for herself here, she sent a passive aggressive text that isn’t going to change anything ??♀️
I'm sure that's what they all say lol, just take a look and think with your head not your heart
How do you feel about your relationship with her outside of sex? Any personality or compatibility changes ? My bf and his ex wife were nude for each other once upon a time for example but their communication and argument styles tanked fhe relationship to divorce – meaning that their thoughts on just each other as people is so in the dirt I doubt either of them could imagine being sexually attracted to one another again despite finding the other objectively attractive looks wise. Attraction is more about just weight gain so I’m curious is there’s more that changed between you both as well
The problem is this really wouldn’t be that different from our normal interactions. He lives a couple hours away, so I’m not sure when I will see him next.
My mom & dad did this when I was a baby. My mom kept her job (travel agent) & they divorced when I was 2. They married at 18. She said her opinion changed in those 9 yrs.
Drunk, high or insane people try to see others at 2:30 am. They aren’t safe. You don’t let them in your home or interact with them because they aren’t safe. You tell them to go away and call the police if they don’t.
People with a headaches take tylenol or go see a doctor. They don’t bother their ex’s.
You seem to be ignoring the possibility that he is actually in a relationship with them both, when relationships like that absolutely do exist. I’m not saying he is necessarily, I’m saying I don’t see why you’re so against the concept of polyamory.
She’s never fully explained that. Just that “you crossed the line one to many times”
Some of the greatest dating lessons I learned in life was 1. Pay close attention to how the man talks about women. 2. Pay attention to how he talks about his exes if they come up. 3. Watch how he treats his mother and other significant ladies in his life. Since I put these lessons into practice, it has never steered me wrong.
Thank you ??
Depending on how you feel about her, The trust now has a crack in it. Over time it will repair or break open.
Its been 8 months and she still is processing it. This says she may have doubts in your relationship and may be keeping him on hold to see how this plays out. Most relationships, if a friend oversteps the boundaries, they should cut them off as its very likely this is not the first time and will not be the last.
From here you can give her the time to process it or you can turn it around and let her know you will need time to reevaluate where she stands with you.
I agree it needs to be brought forward. I don't agree that he should do it in his own sweet time.
The only way to throw a wrench in their plans is to surprise him and take him out that night for dinner for the both of you. He would probably cancel his plan with his friends to celebrate his birthday with his twin.
it wasn’t just the bar, it was the text. i may be a bit uncomfortable he was out that late, but it’s not my biggest concern.