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Brother you need to learn to meditate, find hobby or see a therapist (this ain't a dig, that shits good for everyone). Thinking about or planning revenge on people that, according to what I've read, haven't really done anything wrong isn't going to make you happy. If you can convince yourself academically that no one is really in the wrong then maybe take little steps toward believing it emotionally. Obsessing about it is just going to cause you to spiral. I wish you luck man.
I can't count the number of times I've heard, “Oh, that doesn't matter/ bother me” in response to saying I'm married. ?
You just tell him your boundary and expectations.
You control whether you decide to stay together.
I don't get why people who break up just don't do this? You have no kids in common, you hate the relationship so why do you continue it?
You are obligated to her anymore.