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If you marrie and get doughters one day…do you want them to end up like her? If no: end the relationship.
any other subs I should watch out for?
First send the items you overlooked before. Second just block her everywhere. Don't communicate at all.
why so angry lmao? everything alright at home bud?
Does he have roommates or what not? Just because its his condom box doesnt mean he is the only one dipping in.
I call it fake.
I'm sorry that really sucks. I do not know either of you but from where I am sitting it seems to me that she may be too immature for a relationship. She seems a little self-absorbed and only cares about her own feelings. I personally wouldn't want one of my friends to be in this relationship. Maybe you need a break and she needs to grow up a little and figure out how to communicate and value your feelings.
Neither of us want a relationship. If I did, I would have moved on to someone else by now instead of staying with someone who I'm fully aware does not want to be tied down. I don't think it's unfair at all to want to feel desired by the person I'm fucking regardless of our relationship. I also think we should stop telling people to expect to not feel wanted by someone they're having sex with. That shit is toxic as hell and one of the reasons why people are afraid to share real intimacy with someone that they don't want a relationship with. You can want to feel wanted without wanting to be with that person. I will die on this hill!
“Our share of screaming matches” – red flag #1. Healthy relationships Do. Not. Involve. Screaming. I’m sorry this is normalized for you but it is not normal. I repeat. It is not normal or ok.
“How can I fix this?” – commit to therapy with a focus on anger management, communication, and moderating your reactions. It’s not an excuse you were over stimulated. There is never, ever an excuse for physical violence. Set a timeline to find a therapist and follow through. If you don’t, then you need to realize you are not mature enough to be trusted with someone’s unguarded body.
If I sound harsh just know I’m a woman who would dump a man IMMEDIATELY at the first sign of violence because in statistical actuality it basically only ever escalates and people who hit do not get better. So me telling you you could fix it with the therapy route is actually being as gentle as I can…
Also, maybe i failed to mentio no this in my original post:
I had those thoughts. But then i immediately HATED myself for being THAT insecure, and that’s when I knew that I could NOT be okay pretending to be his friend and act like i’m fine and all healed up like nothing happened and that’s when I told him how I was feeling. Because being his friend only added to my anxiety and I felt completely awful.
I apologized for seeming prickly and harsh over text, and how I initially wanted to talk IN PERSON civilly and maturely but I let myself get triggered. I acknowledged that immediately in the moment and apologized for it.
You don’t save this. You kick her out because she is expecting to not contribute to the household while you support both of you. This is not a fair or healthy partnership.
Yea i get you, definitely talk to him and tell him you’d like to just lay with him a bit before “doing our own thing”
I will say it does get easier as you get older you like yourself more you get more comfortable in your own skin and you do develop a few friends and a social group even if it’s small. It just gets easier.
Did you not clear expectations once you started seeing each other? Always do that. Its quite common with South Asians to get a gf, sleep around then go back and marry as per what their parents say. They sort of ruin it for the honest men.
That's ridiculous. Your dad is the elder and your husband needs to show respect. But go ahead and let these people and your husband cut you off from contact with the family who let you on-line there as newlyweds and raised you. Bad decision.
He has feelings for her. He is just afraid that if he gives into them and things don't eventually work out, he might end up alone, so he is hesitant to let you go. It is himself he is only worried about.
When a man wants to be with the woman, he knows it and makes it happen no matter what. “Give me time to think”, “I am confused”, “I need space”, all these are excuses.
Basically, he's wasting your time. He's not willing to commit to living together after having been in a relationship after six years!? I'd have been leaving 12 months ago.
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Yeah shes pretty good, she gets sleepy easy and she gets scanned every year waiting for it to return. We got married between the 1st and 2nd operation.
Family meal times are essential. Eat together and lots of issues resolve themselves.
Not easy. But it matters. It's a leveller.
What do you mean ?
This is absolutely modelling a horrible relationship to your kids, including your “method” of “calmly calling her out”. This is not better than what your parents did to you each, it's just a different variety of toxic bullshit.
You know it's time to call it quits, mate.
Talk to your counselor about it. Your experience is not in any way unusual. Give it some time and space while giving yourself some grace. There isn’t a right or wrong way to process your grief.
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Do you really WANT an open relationship? You're really ok with him going out to get s*x from others?
You're only 23…do you really want to tie yourself to someone who makes you feel this way? You deserve someone who loves you for you, not someone who wishes you looked different.
This. ^
What are you doing wasting your life.
You are not the only other woman he's been stringing along. He's not your Bf, he's just treating his wife like shit under his feet and treating you and the other deluded single women he's got on strings as idiots.
Wise up. You don't have a Bf.
No because you’re 18 + don’t have much experience with female sexuality in general yet
Update: I tried to talk to her and told her I didn't trust him. She told me Homeland Security investigated his on-line activity and found nothing illegal. Although I'm not sure if he could have used a VPN to avoid that? Anywho, I then told her that even if that's the case, he still was essentially an accomplice in a sex crime by driving Kyle (and i mentioned the text messages discussing sexual favors for Cole). She then said that Cole had no idea he was driving him to a minors home and had no part in any of it. I asked if she had evidence of that, and she said no. She's trusting his word and that he's honest. It led me to tell her I do not care to be friends with her as she is associating with him. We aren't friends anymore.
My husband told me once (I asked what his ideal woman looked like) and he said Jessica alba. I am very much not miss Jessica alba. And this….hurt my feelings. But I realized fantasy is fantasy and reality is reality.
It is normal to find attractive people attractive
Now….of the two of us. I am the one getting caught staring at boobs and butts.
The fantasy sounds like radicalization mixed with porn obsession from excessive pmo. I’d come at this issue from the angle of asking if he still has trouble dealing with these dark thoughts today and if or how you could help. His response should give you more insight.
Closer to 100% because you can get periodically checked
It's been four days. Of course you are in pain right now. It will take time and distance to find peace and calm.
Eat good food. Get lots of rest. Drink water. Go outside and move your body. Be kind to yourself.
If you're already engaged so you know his answer would be yes just buy the ring and tell him how much you appreciate him. You don't have to call it a proposal since you're already well past that.
If I were in her shoes, and she had any sort of bad past with cheaters like I do, I would be thinking what else they were omitting or “forgetting” to tell me for awhile.
I’m hoping to talk with him about this and see if there’s been any growth or realization. I don’t disagree with you and will likely tell him we need to take a break until something changes, but if you have any advice on how to address this, I’d appreciate it.
Maybe he can read minds. I’m going with that.
I still want to believe you’re a troll after reading everything you’ve commented here but if you are, you are COMMITTED.
Yeah, I personally disagree with health professionals here. I'd disclose. Same with a common cold, or any other infectious disease, not just STIs.
You have to forgive him for this? He cheated on you. You’re going to argue that you should get married due to the fact that it’s in seven months and you bought a dress? That’s not why you make monumental life decisions.
Yes, you love him. That’s the common denominator in every situation. This didn’t happen because of alcohol. Separately, while as it relates to infidelity I don’t like to use sexuality as a differentiating factor, and that’s no less the case here. Cheating is cheating.
But given you haven’t mentioned anything about it at all, did you know he was bisexual (or any sexual orientation where he’s attracted to me)? Or is this completely new?
Your sister has huge thirst issues, and she doesn't deserve being abused, but this isn't your problem anymore. Eff your fam…
Wait so he's been abusive from the start , with her yet she is JUST now coming forward being a nut case blaming you?? Why didn't she blame you the 1st time he was abusive?
and which poison is that? She lied about him not being invited and he pulled a double whammy of going into her phone and then pulled a double down lie of omission. honesty and openness are rather sparse in that household it seems.
Nah as a women who honestly told my bf to go for it if he wanted to test our kid, women have a right to be trusted it's one thing if their showing sketchy ass behavior and you wanna make sure, but getting a paternity test is the legal equivalent to “I don't trust you at all” even though a relationship is built on trust
Unless she’s discussed this with you before and specifically told you porn in her eyes is a no-no and you agreed to this boundary she set, I don’t really think you did anything wrong, aside from the commenting that i can really get over, I feel like that would definitely gross a line in my book as well as my girls
Love bombing you.
Dump him. block him. He's absolutely toxic.
That's uhhh not how parenthood works unfortunately lol
Yes, the kid will be out of school for a week and a half. Quote from OP in comments:
That’s only if he has to stay with his parental grandparents… it’s not like I won’t talk to his teachers so he has the work that needs to be done and his grandparents can help him
I try to keep myself busy but these regrets bother a lot sometimes, especially at night.
I don't know why i thought about this , but didn't really want to think about it …
If she refuses to believe you, then you need to break up with her. Tell her flat out, I like you but your friend is a monster to me and if you loved me you’d put a stop to it, but instead you allow it and refuse to see what he is like towards me and I refuse to be with someone who would allow someone she cares about to treat me, someone she is also supposed to care about like shit. I wish you well but I won’t subject myself to any of this bullshit any longer. Good luck in life, but we are over.”
It especially won't end well for the kid
Go to your landlord. Surely there is something banning guesting from staying too long and squatting in your apartment.
Its been 3 months.. calm down!
You say he's insecure and you keep fighting everyday..why the fuck wld u want to be in this relationship longer?
To see how much more toxic it can get?
Goodluck to this stupidity.
Whoever his boss is then?