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Model from: ua
Languages: en,ru
Birth Date: 2003-05-27
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorOther
Eyes color: eyeColorHazel
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
Leave her
Stop opening the door.
Since you are newly in a long distance relationship, I'd say you can relax on the whole concept of “support” for him.
Instead, your role here is Friend. “Oh that sucks” when he complains about why he was laid off, or how it's been difficult finding work in line with what he has been doing. “I might know someone” in spots where he talks about considering a career change or something where someone you know could help. “I wouldn't do that if I were in your shoes” if he announces something insane like taking all his savings and starting a company selling timeshares on Mars.
And that's it.
Yes, being laid off sucks.
But it's not “difficult” so much as “boring”.
It's even better than an app. It's called common sense.
OP – a couple of things. 1. Therapy !! You need to get into it asap !! You have a number of self esteem & self image issues that you are insecure on that you need to figure out why. Everyone, except the absolute fittest & healthiest people on the planet could stand to be a bit fitter & healthier – for what that means for them & their body type. You may have a genetic body type that may never be able to acheive the ” ideal look ” you say your BF finds physically appealling, that's ok. This leads to my 2nd point … 2. Your BF has already completely told you that there is more important things in a relationship than just looks and that's another reason he is involved with you. ** Listen closely OP ** Men are simple when it comes to this area. If this what he is telling you, it is 1000% percent true. All men know that looks will utimately fade over time, both his & yours. So even if you had his absolute perfect ideal body now, if you two stay together 50-60 yrs, do you really think you will have that same body in your 60's or 70's? No. And he knows that. So he loving the personality you have that will be there the whole time. But if you stay so fixated on your looks like you are, you are going to end up driving him away because your personality changed from being some he liked to be around to this crazy person who is only concerned with their looks. And you can say all you want you are doing/fixated on it to make him happy, but he has plainly already told he is happy with you how you are, so really you it's all about you and how you feel about yourself. So, bottomline, either figure out why you can't be happy with yourself how you are, (via going to therapy & what naught), or keep staying fixated & risk losing your BF ultimately because of your obsession.
I found her shows last week and thought it was really different from other comedians, and she was explaining her bipolar personality disorder and especially how therapy works in a very relatable and fun way! Loved her shows!!
Just block her and walk away. You both have proven that you don't need or want each other in your lives. No need to be dramatic, just keep on living life without her.
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He admits in a comment on another post of his from 11 months ago that a part of him misses his marriage. So, you are right on the money that he likes the attention he's getting.
Here's the comment he made:
I don’t know if I have to meet him, i have just being thinking of him showing up at a kids event or a public place. I don’t know if he actually would because he is clearly still married and doesn’t go out in public with my ex. Every time they break up my ex seems to reach out to me for support which I don’t shut down fast enough. Things ended sooner than I wanted and a small part of me still misses my marriage(it was a terrible relationship) I have an incredible gf now who I love, but this is more about my kids well being.
He's the problem in this relationship. Not his ex. His girlfriend deserves better than this bullshit toxic mess.
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Because jobs in America are guaranteed for any period over two weeks. Lol
I'd ask her close friends who you can trust that know her well enough or could bring up rings.
Or you could Google ugly engagement ring stories and bring up the story to her to gage what she would want.
It will make her very sad and upset for a few months or even a year, and then at some point she'll get on a dating platform and find someone who makes her happy.
Look, you're more likely to make her depressed by ignoring her, pulling away, giving a thousand signs that you're not as invested as she is, all of which you are probably unconsciously doing. So just get it over with for both of you.
She's a looney and abusive at that.
NTA
Apologise for what you said as it comes across quite mean and just fully explain the details behind where you was coming from and say that you didn’t mean to come across ungrateful and that your happy she would buy you something like that knowing how much it meant to you and that you didn’t mean to hurt her with your comment
You shouldn’t have to accept the gift even though I see a lot of people saying differently if you still want to buy it yourself just ask her to send it back and get a refund and to instead get things you’d both like as a couple or something that she would also enjoy
At the end of the day it’s only a gift you shouldn’t get upset if the person wants to get that specific thing for themselves just choose something else
But I do have to ask OP if she does send it back and you do buy it will it really bring you that happiness after all of this or do you think it might make things a bit awkward?
She read the message about 20 mins ago but hasn’t responded, Im still kinda freaking out on the inside but im going to wait till tomorrow to send anything else. Im afraid that maybe I’ve upset her somehow I just hope I didn’t mess up so bad that she hates me now
Your girlfriend is young, and she has just been through what may be the greatest upheaval of her life – to her body, identity, how her time is spent etc. You need to put supporting her first. Now is not the time to prioritise getting your needs met with regards to this friendship. If she needs to see this friend right now to be reminded of who she was/normality, then support that. You may want to put in a boundary eg leave the house when she is visiting so you so to have to see her, and you might explain to gf that you need to do this so you can support her to see this friend as she has said this is important to her. However, if this friend again tries to destabilise the relationship it would be appropriate to address this. If this occurs explain to your gf that she and your son are very important to you, that you fear this friend could break the relationship because of what occurred, and you want to hear her ideas of how you can work together to keep your relationship strong. Good luck!
True true. Thanks for your honest advice! I think I’m just as much a “bad influence” as my friends, it takes all 3 of us. The direct message Seon made to Jun through me was offensive and I have apologized to Jun for not taking it more seriously. I plan to talk to Seon about it in person. I guess I don’t want to lose those friends, not just because of our typical shenanigans, but mostly because we really care about eachother a lot and I’ve built a lot trust with them now. I’m okay changing my shenanigans behavior for Jun (and Seon and Hyun understand) but I’m not okay just leaving Seon and Hyun out to dry.
Seriously? It's been two months they're still in the very early stages of getting to know each other. It's good to vet if the person is interested in marriage and kids at this point. But continuously pushing boundaries on a time line is a red flag.
Ya there are no circumstances under which my wife and I would consider going to a party with this much debauchery taking place. Because if we did, I would expect to come home with exactly this type of bullshit.
If you sincerely fear she will harm herself, call police.
This is the answer. He seems to think he has ownership of OP's boobs.
All men that ended up raising a child that wasn't theirs trusted their partner until they found out.
My best friend and her husband are both doctors, she’s family med. he’s orthopedic surgeon. They haven’t even lived together their entire marriage because of residency. People are always shocked when they hear it, because it’s not the “norm”. They both agreed to make that sacrifice because they both understood.
Maybe find an easy to manage haircut live! and tell him how good he would look in that cut. I am at a loss here. I can't stand to have hair in my face or on my neck.
Emotional support milk made me laugh
If you think it is bad now it WILL get worse when you get married. My husband was the same when we first got married. We dated in high school and married at 19. His mom always did all the cleaning. He only mowed and took out the trash. That made me start resenting him. His excuse was he was tired from work. He worked overnight. I was a full time student and also worked part time and during the summers I even worked 2 jobs. We had a small 1 bedroom apartment.
One thing he did regularly when I asked him to do the dishes was “well I was planning on doing them today but now I don’t want to since you said something”. We were supposed to take turns. Like you, I decided to not do the dishes or say anything and see how long it took for him to do them. He didn’t. It got to the point where there was mold growing on the food. I was pissed. So he really didn’t want to wash them so he decided to just throw all the dishes away. Yes. He threw them away. Decided to buy a new set of dishes.
This was a long time ago. I put my foot down because I got tired of it. Especially when we moved into a townhouse that was twice as big which meant twice as much to clean. He does contribute now without me having to say anything although I will occasionally point things out. I was ready to leave him over it. We’ve been married 19 years now
There are far too many people in that comment section outright defending someone being unhealthily heavy. What the fuck?
Why are you getting married if your attitudes to money are so different?
Find a new guy