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Thank you so much
Just here to point out your common sense and how much I like it on this sub
Don’t talk to her at all. Go to the police.
If she wasn't cutting off his advances and actually encouraging him i would be very leary . Doesn't sound like she has her priorities in the right place
Thank you so much!
Start dating a 47 year old man. See what he thinks then.
It’s very clear how many people here don’t value paying attention to important details based on all the references to a man you and several other commenters keep making.
I feel like you should read the title or at least first sentence of a post before offering advice on it.
Alright, thank you for clarifying. In other comments you said you didnt want to play for trips and didnt say anything about paying for portions of it (unless i missed it…) so i just assumed you werent willing, sorry about that. But that’s pretty shit if he’s willing to put out for those trips that far out. Have you already suggested you pay for part of your trips together, or would like to plan some of the things you could do together for him with some of his input? I think if you could convince him to go on just ONE trip with you, then he can then decide if he ever wants to do that again or not in the future.
Im afraid if nothing budges with bringing up “the boys” or explaining how bad you want to have unique experiences together with HIM, then it’s just another incompatibility on top of the other incompatibilities you have briefly mentioned. If you’re not willing to look for someone else (which i get, you seem like you really love him), then you only have to compromises or settling it seems.
I know reddit pushes people to break up or divorce all the time, but i think it’s really important for you to find someone that is willing to be a fair and curious with you and is willing to put as much effort as you are to do something nice like that.
It’s your body. Unless he wants to carry the baby to term (a real thing), he can wait.
The last comment is unwarranted. It's because he's young and doesn't have the experience you have.
No worries (and glad to help!), I wish you the best of luck.
I gotta admit, I'm not surprised that he has a whole lot going on in his life. I wouldn't be comfortable with emotional intimacy with someone almost half my age. And I don't need to be, because I have a circle my own age.
And it goes both ways: part of the reason he doesn't have friends his own age is because he's the kind of guy who thinks it's okay to be talking about his drug trips with 17 year olds.
Be careful around him. It says too much about him that you even have to be asking this question.
Yea time to exit. And I would make it very clear that you are leaving because SHE won’t set boundaries with Mark. Because ultimately it wouldn’t matter what mark does if your partner set any clear limits. Break up and do it quick. Before any oopsie babies suddenly make an appearance
The best part of being an adult is getting to pick who you let be part of your life. I love my mom but I also keep a healthy distance from her for my own mental health.
Honestly that sounds like she has some sort of trauma surrounding that relationship and hearing that he was getting married bubbled it up to the surface. You have no insight into what happened so you should ask her instead of posting on Reddit about it. For all you know the guy was abusive and unkind and she was crying because seeing everything work out for her abuser was triggering to her. Something about this particular person evokes a strong, negative emotional reaction in her and some empathy and kindness would go a long way in understanding her while creating space for healthy conversation about how each of you are currently feeling. I understand you’re concerned and confused but there is a lot of projecting and bad advice in this thread. No one on Reddit is going to be able to tell you exactly why she reacted the way she reacted – only she can do that. But I will say, I have a friend in this exact situation and she also cried when she found out because the dude took advantage of her for years, dangled carrots, and then cheated on her – which lead to the end of the relationship. She cried when she found out – not because she wanted him but because she was upset that he had hurt her for so many years and done some pretty terrible things and she was still bearing the trauma he saddled her with while he had seemingly moved on without a second thought. It was more that he seemed unaffected by it all, more than anything, while she was still dealing with the resulting depression from that relationship. Just some food for thought.
In any event – ask your girlfriend and listen to what she has to say. That’s the only way you’ll get a clear answer.
Someone finally said it. ?
Date modified isn't the same as date created. He may have cropped them or edited them in some other way, or simply copied them from another place.
You have to pay tax on any piece of property with a fair market value in excess of federal (and state and local) exemptions. The exemption is around 15k, but that changes all the time.
So if her dad gives her a house worth 500k, she needs to pay federal tax on 485k of income.
There are ways to get around it with living trusts and other maneuvers though. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a house, cash, art, etc. if it has a market value, it needs to be counted as income.
Do not marry him right now. It seems he’s showing his true colors — you’re close enough to the wedding that he thinks he’s got you, that you won’t back out.
Her comment about putting her in a box would give me pause. Asking about swinging isn't necessarily a bad thing, that's communication. But being bothered with being monogamous, that's a concern.
No wonder his wife cheated. Sounds like he has personality disorder.
Your wife is a vile human being. I’m so sorry, but this isn’t a life partner. This will wear you down, and now that the trust is broken, it can’t magically be repaired. She’s lazy, superficial, nasty, and entitled. Get a divorce.
Slave* is what he meant.
thank you for your input. It’s good to hear from someone who also regularly scoops people up and understands it’s not as unsafe as people think it is, and you can understand why he does it. he loves meeting people. he loves stories. he loves experiences. he’s been the hitchhiker hundred of times himself… it’s not as simple as “that’s crazy wtf” which i expected, i KNOW it can be very cool and fun but i just don’t have it in me to take the risks. i value my life and i owe it to the people who love and depend on me to make better decisions now. it took a long time to understand my choices impacted the people close to me too.
You need to stand up for yourself and your boundaries. No one else is going to do them for you. You need to make it clear showing up to your house unannounced is not cool. You do this by not letting him in or telling whoever you're with to not let them in.
Yeah that makes sense, we broke up mainly because I had a lot of issues with overthinking which brought him down and was affecting our relationship in a negative way, I doubt that there is a way to make amends with our romantic connection since he’s already established that he’s lost feelings because of that (and I also would rather not give myself that hope if I can), but I might try to contact him again in the next few days if nothing comes up, thanks for the help