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The fact that you say “you want him to pay for what he did.if that is revenge then so be it” just shows that you are wanting to tell her for the wrong reasons and that it isn't about having her back and that it's all about you getting your revenge. You don't give a shit about this girl, you're hurt and you're using her to get back at him and to hurt him. It's spiteful and revengeful which isn't a good look….period. you got played, be the bigger person and walk away and let it be. You're on some wack ass petty shit. It also seems like you've just come on here to seek validation to ease your conscience about something you kinda know is ill motivated. Anyone in the comments who isn't backing your motives you're getting defensive with. Just sounds like you have a lot of growing to do. Cheating sucks, being cheated on sucks but just because you're hurt doesn't mean it's okay to make others hurt too. You know nothing about their relationship or this girl. If it was an on going thing than sure that makes the situation very different.
Yeah she’s mentioned this before. And she’s admitted she’s emotionally immature and I told her I’d help but I’m no therapist so I’m going about it the best I can. She also said she wants to attend therapy whenever she gets away from her parents.
Not how life works. If you can't accept her as she is then don't be around her. As it stands you're acting like a spoilt controlling child.
Girl 2. Done and done. Take care of business before Christmas so you don’t have to buy more gifts and split more of your time.
Gosh, there's so much going on. There's so much I could say. But I will try to stick to some points I don't think others have made.
Sleep Deprivation is AWFUL!!! do what you can to get some extra sleep. But, HERE'S THE PART OTHER PPL HAVENT SAID: making a major life decision when you are so sleep deprived and can't think straight may not be advisable. I don't mean do nothing but making a major decision like to divorce or not might be worth waiting a few months to decide.
If finances allow, hire help for non child care things (washing dishes, cleaning), lean on family to help if needed, or hire limited, cheaper help that doesn't actually come into the home (such as dropping laundry off at a place that will wash and fold it then you pick it back up or place a grocery order live! either for pick up or delivery to save all the time and effort of shopping). Anything you can do to ease the burden on both of you for these next few months can be helpful.
When the legitimate opportunity arises, praise or compliment or thank your wife. If she has read parenting books, comment on her motivation to be a good parent. If she is trying to eat healthy to have nutrient rich milk for your son, tell her you appreciate it. Look closely and find things you can genuinely give compliments about, even if or especially if they are things are most people would take for granted.
do some reading (books, blogs, live! articles, etc.) about what lt is like to become a first-time dad. Although your examples are more extreme than most, many of the issues that weelre woven theougj your story are part and parcel of beung a new dad (i.e.mom feeling exhausted/overworked/underappreciated by dad, dad feeling abandoned by mom, etc.) Once you feel you have a decent understanding of that, do some reading about what it is like to become a first-time mom.
Continue therapy with a cautiously optimistic approach (but not blind, i.e. hence the caution). When there is an abusive dynamic going on, traditional couples therapy can do more harm than good. When you have a moment alone [i.e. on the sldrive to or from work once u start back to work), call the local battered women's center/domeatic violence/ intimate partner violence center. they do work with men whose partners are abusive. doing some “work”/ counseling whathave you with them can help you figure out best next steps.
good luck to all 3 of you
They don't have to be! Amazon has reasonable ones and you can find brand pages on Twitter that will give you vouchers in exchange for reviews, I got like 3 toys that way lol. There's also sites that use after pay or Klarna, like Lovehoney.com, they're my go to and they're always having sales too. But what toys don't do, and why I think they're more than worth it, is lower your self esteem, break your heart, get you pregnant or give you STDs. In fact, self pleasure improves self esteem, sleep and stress.
And girl if you think toys are pricey, so are men, I promise you anyone you find that's just in it for sex isn't worth it, most of them have no idea what they're doing, especially around your age. It's also just better if you know what you like and feel comfortable and confident in directing your own pleasure.
I get wanting to have sex, I truly do, and I'm not even telling you to wait forever, I'm just saying there's no need to rush and thinking about it this way is bound to lead you to making decisions that aren't good for you, or allowing people access to your body that don't really care about you. The most important thing is YOUR comfort, safety and pleasure and anyone you're having sex with just for the sake of doing it is not going to prioritize you.
Falling fast and very hot for beautiful stories, sounds like you fall for charmers, that know exactly how to play on hope. The solution is to get better at telling who’s trustworthy and emotionally available. And to tell that it’s not just about what they say, it’s about what they say, how and when they say it, and what they do. If you want to get better at that, there’s ways to work on it. If that interests you, let me know, and I’ll share more.
ok so do you ever go down on her with zero reciprocation? Or is this just a one way street?
How old are you both?
Is it your biological child too?
I'll go slow for you.
The person you replied to didn't say anything about their political affiliation. You assumed based on their post that they were liberal. Case in point: bringing up how “Bidenomics” harms POC.
The only thing indicating their beliefs in the comment was the bit about how they believe in protecting women, POC, and others.
You assumed, based on that remark, that the commenter was liberal, because you associate liberals with valuing women, POC, and minorities. By default, you believe conservative values oppose those values. That is, they seek to harm women, POC, and minorities. You associate harming others with conservative values.
Did you get it that time, or should I make a flow chart?
You broke his trust by finding out he was cheating on you… it’s quite the stance for him to take.
Don't even need to be specific. Say you were shown the messages and the pictures. When she asks by whom, say “how long is the list of people that you and he trusted?”.
It's not the mature thing to do but sowing some seeds of doubt would feel good.
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She's told you flat out that she won't make changes to her behavior. She won't change. Either you deal or you leave to find someone who has the same boundaries that you do.
Ah cheers, I was just curious because many Muslims only accept their daughters marriage to Christians, Muslims or Jews – people of the book.
Then again, not all Muslims have the same views of the matter.
You gonna tell this proposal story to your mom?
“Yeah, I was balls deep in her mouth and she was choking a little. She stared up at me with watering eyes and right as I came, I screamed “WILLLLL YOUUUUUU MARRRYY MEEEEEE”. And gripped the back of her head“
This is a joke. Right? You’re trolling us? How the F did you even come up with this shitty idea?
Message her. If she came down for a weekend and lives 4 hours away, she isn't trying to steal him from you. If they did hook up, she probably thought he was single and would be mortified to find out she was the other woman. Maybe keep it vague, like say something to the effect of ” BF says you spent the night in his room a few weeks ago and I'm a friend of his and we found a pair of earrings, could they be yours?” If she affirms she slept in his room then you can maybe probe about what happened.
This is who she is. If you find it inappropriate, you’re incompatible.
In 8 months..saw him 3 times. It be months in between but I keep telling myself well be together soon. It's like we trying to get to know each other but how can we do that so far apart barely seeing each other bc of our work schedules
Throw the whole damn dude away. ?️
You are going to need to provide more context for anyone to give you any meaning advice. Often physical violence is a boundary that once crossed there is no going back.
I think the only thing you can do now is tell him you respect that he needs so time out and give him some space to figure out where his heads at.
I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone that stupid. It’s actually baffling and I feel dumber just for reading this post. You are who you associate with. Find better friends.
I think I understand, I'm fairly new to all this so excuse me if I sound dumb, I'm just really clueless. I might just wait it out then.
So he’s abusive.
You can 100% judge something from when someone was young. 21 is old enough to know better in this instance.
End it. My wife did this to me after we'd been married for several years except she got the baby bug, spread it to me, and then within the year had actively stop having sex with me.
When I called her on it she admitted that she changed her mind about kids, didn't want to have to tell me, so started avoiding having sex just to make sure she didn't get pregnant.
So, all our future plans don't mean fuck to me anymore and the last 3.5yrs have been miserable. I wake up and go to work, I drink when I can, and am basically waiting to die. I used to want to on-line a long time and enjoy retirement together and raise our kids, being better parents than either of us had (low bar), and making sure there was someone around to take care of her when I'm gone (I'm a few years older than her). But there's no point to anything. It's a cold house we've built.
Don't put yourself anywhere near going through something like this.
Thanks so much for offering honest advice. I’m sorry you and others who did so without dogpiling on me got downvoted. I do value my family and I think my sister does too. We talked today and she said she’s been in her head a lot lately but family was on her mind this week. We have made plans to spend time together tomorrow and I am looking forward to it. We both missed each other.
He's fucking her and keeping you as a side piece. Tell her that he's been seeing you and then ditch him
Who made the first move is not relevant.
you need to get therapy for that, not project it onto other victims because they might be lying, now is not the time or place to question the post. it does not affect you if she is lying or not but if she isn’t seeing other people act like she is lying when she clearly needs support is not going to help in the slightest. debate with a friend instead if you need to so badly
I loveee how he left out the part of him snapping as if that would change the fact that he’s a literal man child. Don’t forget to tell them how you need your gf to help you pack.
I guess a reason why you were jumping to the defense of someone who claimed they could?
My partner and I didn't date immediately but we made it clear that we were exclusive, just not w titles yet bc we wanted to get to know each other. But the exclusive talk was had, and then 3 months later he asked me to be his girlfriend. Monogamy was assumed from the point we became exclusive.
WHY?!?!!!! Why are you married to this person?!? Just why?!!? She berates you, insults you and when she is being kind negs and emasculates you.
Divorce her. She has a GED and no job? Too bad, her problem.
Common sense skipped your generation of family apparently
It doesn’t matter who is lying. What is happening is two married people are posting stuff trying to get total on-line strangers to take sides. While taking sides does make sense in many situations, it is clear to me that the OP and his wife are better off divorced and free of each other, both having learned valuable lessons that they can apply to the next relationships that they get into.
Lmao what? Girl no. Go visit your parents. Dump his ass.
I looooove getting stuff from Etsy. OP just be sure to read customer reviews on the store so you don't get scammed
It does. But why not text? I’m not dating her so a in person thing might be too much. Plus we don’t go to the same school.