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I'm assuming when you say “attached” you mean taken. I'd say respect her relationship and let her go. There are plenty of potential partners out there, no need to fixate on one that isn't available.
Honestly, what he did would be for me cheating. It all depends on the boundaries and rules you both have set for your relationship. In mine, my husband not being up front and open about me and my place in his life with people he meets would he lying and a form of cheating.
I also saw your other post. I think your biggest issue is you do NOT have trust. He is still acting shady and lying through omission about “friendships” with women, and despite him having been the one to break trust, he is leading with “snooping” is a huge betrayal. He shouldn’t have the option to hide anything from you if you are both committed to the relationship.
If he were truly committed to you and reconciliation, then you would have open devices and adhere to the idea that a long term, committed relationship has no room for secrecy. His idea of “snooping” seems more about him being able hide the ways in which he is crossing boundaries.
Hopefully in IC you can work on figuring out what YOU need from a partner to feel safe, secure and happy and be okay setting and holding boundaries that you get that. Either your partner can meet those needs or he can’t.
I also recommend the book “Not Just Friends” by Shirley P Glass. I would absolutely set clear boundaries about what friendships outside of the relationship will look like- when can you message, how often, how often do you see in person and when- and then make sure you are both adhering to those boundaries. Neither of you should have friendships where you have an issue one of you seeing the messages that are taking place- if so it’s a sign it’s not healthy or respectful to your marriage.