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If you’re getting the feeling she’s preoccupied on her vacation then just drop a line, “Hope you’re having a good time & don’t want to keep disrupting your fun. Text me when you get back and we can make plans for a second date. Sound good?”
He. Her sister's boyfriend is he. ?
Yes it warrants leaving. Why should she accept you swearing and yelling at her when( only judging by the post) she doesn’t do the same? How would you feel if she began to call you names and swear just because she’s angry? You’ve gotten better because you no longer call her names ?
This clearly isn’t something that’s come up just because. She’s over it because it seems for most of your relationship you’ve been verbally lashing out on her( and previously calling your wife out of her name?) and after however long her been going on, she’s telling you to fix this or she’s out.
Yes it’s unacceptable. That’s not how you speak to someone you love and someone who support you, ever. This is abusive and you need to seek actual help if you want to save your marriage. No one on reddit needs to tell you if it’s on that your wife wants to leave you if you can’t stop verbally abusing her, she is telling you she will leave you if you don’t stop verbally abusing her.
You said so yourself you don't trust her. You said you're paranoid she's going out to the clubs to cheat on you.