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Model from: co
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Birth Date: 1999-07-30
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You have already made you decision, both of you.
Now you have to understand it. It will become appRent after the first time you cuddle.
Let him break up with you. If his ego is so frail that you have to “let him win” then he is not exactly a man. Real men want a partner in life. They want someone who contributes equally when making plans and setting goals. When he says that you are not feminine when you voice your opinion, he is deflecting. He really means that his masculinity is interpreted by him as having power and control over you. He is manipulating and gaslighting you. This is not the future you want.
She is using him, he is falling for it and enabling. He needs to stop and she needs rehab and you will need to draw a line and keep it.
Exactly. I would out that piece of shit to the entire community then disappear.
the gf and I kissed a few times which seemed to upset the colleague
So, why didn't you stop? If it was obviously upsetting him, why did you both continue?
Sounds like Colleague's GF is doing damage control while Colleague is still upset or embarrassed by the incident. Leave them alone and let them come to you if/when they feel ready.
Usually older men who date someone that young end up enjoying being more knowledgeable about things. The younger woman thinks he is so smart and wise and it becomes part of the dynamic for her to give more weight to his opinion rather than her own. Think of it as extreme sexism. This dynamic is unhealthy for the young woman because she disregards her own needs, her own thoughts, her own instincts, her own experiences, etc.
If you make a real effort to counteract this affect, then maybe it is not so bad. However, so many men don't. They don't give the younger actual room to grow up and become confident in their own selves. The older man feels like it is completely natural and normal for the woman to make extra efforts to please him and look up to him. In fact, he will never even notice that things are unbalanced.
I hope it helps, supportive partners often forget to put their needs first.
My sister calls her anxiety thoughts gremlins – sometimes it helps to separate the thoughts from your sense of self.
yeah! i call it “my brain is being mean to me”