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Model from: it
Languages: es,en,it
Birth Date: 1998-04-27
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
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Eyes color: eyeColorHazel
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Why the heck are you dating a sweet boy while keeping in touch and still not over your ex. LEAVE HIM ALONE! HE DOESNT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE A CHOICE OR A REBOUND! Your ex is an ex for a reason. Do not go back to him. Get your shit together. Do you have respect for yourself and your new boyfriend? Don’t date people you aren’t ready to date. People like you are so selfish.
This is a witch hunt. It’s strange but like… where’s any evidence?
Honestly, I thought they were fucking insane. Lol. Almost 15 years in they're going strong.
I'm a firm proponent of “live together before things get too serious.”
Better to know you can or can't coexist before tying it down legally and how messy that can be.
We’ve been dating for almost a year. I struggle with this even when he’s not overseas. He’s not very good at texting or calling people and he keep saying he will try. Its not the first time im communicating this to him but the answer is always the same “i’ll try to be more consistent” “i’ll do my best” “give me a chance to try”. Im getting tired of this honestly…
Yeah we live together and that’s what is so nude for me. This is the first time in 3 years, outside of work trips, that we haven’t stayed in the same bed or place together… it’s really hot on me right now.
I think she’s feeling sensitive. I personally would have taken it in the vein of, “that was fun, we should ‘practice’ more, wink wink,” but I can see why she could take it differently. You’ve apologized for how you worded it, and I think that’s enough. I agree that you should be able to talk about what’s working and what doesn’t. Many, many relationships have ended because people aren’t able to have honest conversations.
If it’s not deep or important then why bring it up?
Bruh why do people get in relationships with people that still talk to their exes. Male/female friends are fine but if you had any history with them , absolutely not
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After having as traumatic an experience as you did I would suggest you shouldnt be in a relationship with anyone right now, especially someone who doesnt understand or seem to care what youve been through. If you arent in therapy presently I would suggest you begin and give relationships a break until your therapist feels your ready once more.
Ya it’s the same when a guy says something inappropriate and you call it out and they say “oh it was just a joke” and you say “explain it to me then” and they get all defensive cause they can’t without admitting they are gross. That’s all this was. He had to explain his rape joke and he couldn’t so he got angry instead.
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You really, really need to leave. Their financial situation is NOT your problem. This is borderline abuse, if it isn’t actual abuse. Your mother has no right in your space and to constantly give you shit for YOUR things, is so fucked up. I live an hour away from my parents and they do the same thing. While it may never actually change, the best thing you can do is leave.
After all this time and all the time he's put into you and your children I'm inclined to think he's in love with you and has been for the majority of your friendship.
So an age gap relationship where the dude is older ends up resulting in the older guy being really controlling. That is, sadly, far more the rule than the exception.
OP, counseling is an option, but it takes two and I wonder how invested or motivated your husband would be in changing. Most dudes in their late 50's are how they are and don't want to / won't change.
Honestly, it sounds like he was some stability for you in a time of chaos, and now that you are more put together in your life and what not, you realize that maybe some of the flaws you overlooked before may not be as acceptable?
It started out with small comments here and there, telling people I didn’t drink or smoke, never did drugs.
This is a bit of a flag, he is lying about you to other people.
he would continuously accuse me of fooling around on him
This is often manipulative in nature, especially in relationships with a large age gap. The other thing that often happens in relationships with large age gaps is isolation from friends and family, which was easy in this case, you had already moved far away.
I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to have male friends. I cut off all contact with any of them.
I had 2 gay friends, and I had to cut one out of my life, and the other one had passed from Covid 2 years ago
But he did manage to this, and that is another concerning sign of him isolating you, so you are extremely reliant on him.
I’m finally opening my eyes to all this toxic traits.
So yeah, you are seeing it too.
I don’t know how to get myself out of it.
Start with counseling of your own, who cares if he wants to go, you have plenty to unpack on your own. Also, consider quietly consulting a lawyer to go over your options. Given all the toxic things you are seeing from him, I am very skeptical there's a good chance of him changing substantially enough.
I was on the other end of this situation once as well. It’s not about the sandwich, it’s about communication. A simple text saying “hey I see a couple sandwiches in here, can I have one?” would have prevented the whole thing. It was 1 am, I was hungry and looking forward to my shitty half a sandwich I made earlier that day, and when I got home, he had drunkenly eaten it without asking me, and I was pissed.
I can't say I'm well versed in the “step above vanilla” sex life but from everything I know: it requires ALOT of communication.
I know I'm gonna be hated for this but have you talked to him about it? It truly could've been a simple misunderstanding. It's been a little bit since you had sex, maybe your pain to pleasure ratio was just off. It could've been a release of anger. You and your parner are the only ones that can figure that out.
Also, you say it was a few days since you last had sex, but it was still fresh off the space you gave him. Playing devil's advocate here: could you have already been expecting some type of lashing out on you so you basically took it that way? Which, if that's the case, that's not normal either. If you're expecting to be hurt there's some fear of him behind that, if he's given you a reason to be fearful in the past.
Which leads me to this: if you truly feel afraid, talk to him, avoid the sex until you're sure you're not in danger, and if your gut says to leave him, do it.
Good luck to you!
Let her go. She needs therapy to move on from her issues. Nothing you do is going to make it better. She needs to work on herself and her trust issues before she dates anyone.
My advice would be honesty. You're kind of tiptoeing around what kind of IG account it was even though we can all guess, and saying you don't know why you were following it is disingenuous as hell. You know exactly why you were following it.
Your best bet here is being open with her so she doesn't feel like you're hiding anything else. If you keep trying to sq
Thot chronicles
You’re right, appreciate the quick reponse
Lay off, she sees it now and if you haven’t been in the situation- hell, even if you have – it’s nude to understand how deep the manipulation and mind games can go.
She’s out, she sees it. Worrying about him is just residual trauma bond and it will pass, don’t guilt her for that
No idea if it’s rude.
You could just address it verbally and tell him the problem first. See if he acknowledges it.
Any time to you tell someone that you want a change, you risk hurting them.
What’s less painful. Accepting his behaviour or risking the friendship?
Is it really a friendship if you can’t discuss problems?
Thank you.
Sometimes one is thinking that redditors childhood swing may have been situated a little too close to the houses wall.
IMO – grow up.
They aren't related. They work together. Everybody is consenting and adults.
feel like we need to cut them out of our lives so we don’t have to see them together
This is super childish and you are more worried about appearances than the happiness of your adult parents. You are really going to hold it over a widow's head that they feel they found happiness? How selfish.
Honestly, I think at this point it’s a you problem. If your parents invite you somewhere that doesn’t require a ticket (eg, a backyard barbecue), just assume he’s automatically included in the invite and bring him! Why would you even have to ask about that?
And if they invite you somewhere that requires a ticket, say, “Sounds great! Can you get one for both me and X?”
Then if they say no, and it’s not an explicit siblings-only event (especially if your sister’s boyfriend is attending), either don’t come or leave as soon as you find out. Make it clear to them that if your boyfriend isn’t welcome, you and the grandchildren won’t be attending.
I’m almost wondering if they always assumed he was included in the invite and then you never brought him, so they assumed he didn’t want to be there…
Let her go.
i got a job out of school and financially supported my g/f through 3 years of dental school. a couple of weeks before graduation she announced she was marrying a classmate.
regardless of how much you discuss 'em, your dreams and plans are not necessarily his.
No offence taken. Im always after help with my anxiety by asking for perspectives ? I did ask him yesterday and he wanted to chill. Now ive gone home lo and behold he’s going out soon. It just hurts.
The amount of people saying you don't have to disclose if you have HPV really bother me. As someone with herpes I will outright say f that. If you have a freaking disease you tell someone and give them a choice. If they care about your enough to risk it cool. If not, don't lie by omission and screw others over
Imagine dating a person and you are falling in love and then you find out they didn't care about your health enough to tell you about their diagnosis and now you are stuck with a disease and I would never forgive them and now I would never trust them again and I would be little f you you screwed me over and you lost me. And leave.
F that noise and I'm sorry this happened to you OP.
I can't either. I feel so pitiful but I'm just devastated. In any other situation, my MO would've been to pack my things and load up the dog, change my number, and leave.
you don't want to leave him after all this crap? then why are you even posting!?
you are only 21, too young to have all these crap happening to you & I believe no one deserve to be cheated on.
if he ever loved you then all these should NEVER EVER happen to begin with.
he even said “he thought about seeing her when he was invited over during her last visit”. The sexting & your relationship was discussed + nudes were exchange – its blatant disrespect!
hey who are we to stop you from staying with him but cheaters don't change. he has a lot of growing up to do & learn boundaries in relationships. no relationship will last once the trust is gone. Even hookups has a bit of trust to enable physical pleasure to happen.
Yes
find a buddy you can stay with and block her on everything and don't unblock her, ever.
Does his family have any history of mental illnesses? They’re usually hereditary. I concur on the necessity of a full psychiatric evaluation. I hate lay people making psychological diagnoses on things they have no training or experience with, but man … husband needs a formal assessment. Paranoid delusions and auditory hallucinations are no joke. It’s lifelong management keeping it under wraps and staying functional. You are wise to be cautious.
Well first off, time to contact a divorce attorney. Contact an attorney and listen to their advice. I wouldn't communicate with him directly unless it's 1 about the children 2 about the divorce.
After communicating with an attorney, it's time to figure out what are the next steps to take like getting a new place to live or making your current arrangements more permanent.
Finally, you should consider therapy to help you process everything you are going through. It's a lot, I'm sure, and having a therapist can be so helpful in terms of validating your experiences and helping you to find the most healthy way forward for you and your kids.
It's time to leave. As long as you live there, he has the power to do this and much worse to you. It's quite likely that he wants you gone and is making life incrementally more uncomfortable for you until you choose to leave. Take the hint and start figuring out where you're going to go.
Yea that's kinda weird. But sense you have a shared calendar it makes me think he doesn't have anything to hide. Maybe he put it in there because he is friends with the husband and wants to attend to hand out with him? But all in all, I think that chick is involving your husband way too much into her own marital bullshit. Like get a therapist lady, not someone elses husband
LOL she really is not
But what else can you expect from a woman who’s willing to take her SISTERS MAN
Karma really delivers sometimes
Well the “silent treatment” is immature no matter who’s to blame for the argument so one of you needs to be the mature one and communicate. Have a calm rational discussion about what happened and decide if you both went to patch things up or break up.
She's talking about her boyfriend's mother in regards to the face
Part of me wishes I did lol, haven't slept and off to work now. However, the reality is I don't think it'd have helped.
The whole situation's nude, ofc, but the biggest thing to me that has become obvious is that I need to seek professional help again, despite bad previous experiences. My mental state is not right and it makes little things like this so much harder.
Stay gone, girl. You KNOW he slept with her when they met up. NO WAY they didn't have sex. Two grown a** adults who are sexually attracted to each other and are sexting and involved in an emotional affair, don't just hold hands and sweet talk when they hook up in person. They have sex, and plenty of it.
He's a deceitful, lying, gas-lighting cheater and he was using you as his back up plan while he attempted to monkey branch over to her (and he still is). I'd put money on it that he hasn't cut contact with her. He's just taken their affair deeper underground. You're his safety net, so he wants to keep you for now, but once he's ready (or it may be her that's not yet), he'll toss you aside for her. You deserve better than that.
No backstory at all? No information about how it all started? Not saying I condone this but we literally got nothing except a very narrow view of the outcome of something.
Tell. Once you are set up for your divorce, tell her. You two might be able to share notes and help each other.
Next time she says she is going to Cody’s, suggest she invite him over instead. Then she can see her friend and you can spend time with your girlfriend.
“I have no family here, he does”
Guess your husband isn’t family ?
It honestly sounds like she needs serious help. Books is not gonna help. She needs a professional helping her and sorting her out.
Read your post and if someone else wrote this. What would you say to them? It honestly sounds like you have given her a lot of passes.
Sometimes just loving someone is not enough. You support her and love her for 100%, but honestly do you feel like you are appreciated or heard in this relationship? If not then why are you still with her?
It's been a few months, don't stay with someone who will drop you when his type is available!
It's been a few months, don't stay with someone who will drop you when his type is available!
The economy is projected to hit the skids. Prices on everything, going up. I would get a dress I was really happy with and do it at my church. I did that. Between the dress $900 in 2005, food, photos, flowers etc. Came in under $5k. There were less than 75 guests. I also forego an engagement ring because I felt I couldn't go back and “Photoshop” a dress on myself. Just not the same. So I guess the question is, what is big?
I expect he won’t make the same mistake again. If he’s a halfway decent person, he should understand what you’re saying, apologize, and never make the same mistake again.
Also, he’s not very aware of racism. So he’ll probably make other bonehead mistakes and comments, and he’ll need you to keep helping him learn racism 101. Are you cool with that?
Sounds like my dad.. he is a very stubborn and pedantic man (even though he is a great dad) living with someone like that is nude! They get worse and worse. My poor mother walks on egg shells cause she has remember when she puts stuff. If you can't handle it now leave
I can be jealous but your comfort comes ahead of ego in this situation. The friend did the right thing.
SameGrassButGreener . They are good at coming up with places that meet certain criteria!
Thanks for taking the time to leave a response. I definitely don’t have an issue with drinking. I am more trying to be mature and not involve myself in the situation for the sake of bride and groom. There would be lots of drinking at any wedding and I wouldn’t if I attended but more from other guests making comments to me (guests attending know what has happened) or even from her approaching me. I definitely don’t blame her, I just don’t want to be in the same room as her. Despite all of this I do not want to attend which I think really is fair despite what he does. I understand it’s a difficult situation hence why I am asking the question.
There’s clearly a pattern with you and iffy men. That’s worth unpacking with a good therapist. Getting to know yourself and learning to act in your own best interest is a process….it’s rarely linear and it can take a lot of time to get through layers of trauma.
Then he should be able to communicate this to her, if that’s not the kind of experience he wants.
Find a man, not a boy