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This is how affairs begin. He needs to cut her off. Have him read NOT JUST FRIENDS. You read it too. Be tough OP or it will escalate. Many of us have been there. Good luck.
As a parent, making your (adult) child choose a parent is awful. Their affair had nothing to do with you. I wouldn't choose either. I've had to deal with this personally. I was only a few years younger. Your mom chose to go no contact with you. You did not choose your dad. People who give ultimatums suck. How I seen it in my situation was I was both parent's (adult) child. Not some mutual friend that needed to pick sides.
Arh right, yeah those aren’t superficial things like music tastes etc. So yeah just enjoy the no strings for a while if you want to but break it off if you think he’s looking for something serious.