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Model from: in
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1997-11-04
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
Ethnicity: ethnicityIndian
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlack
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Yes
Sounds insecure as hell. You’re a chore OP. Nobody likes chores.
DONT SH*T WHERE YOU EAT.
These days there are people who want to be able to sleep with whoever, whenever, how much they want without any consequences or expect it not to effect their future relationships. Then when they get hit with reality that most worthwhile people are not cool with that they want to hurl insults and yell buzz words like “insecure” and “controling”.
I agree though. As I said don’t waste your money just walk away if your intuition tells you something is off.
I would start looking at the things she has actively done to “make it work”. It's one thing to talk about trying to improve it, another to actually take steps. Has she done anything concrete? If not, she's just trying to shut you up and ignore the problem (either consciously, or subconsciously). I'd also make a list of pros and cons of leaving her. Maybe you'll find out there isn't much for you in this relationship. It also sounds like you do the majority of the housework, while also paying for most of the expenses. That is not an equal relationship by any means.
I don't know why everyone keeps saying “if you have a preference that's ok”
That's a default and it does not need to be verified by the internet. There will never come a day when trans does not matter to people, we are not fluid, maybe some people are but it's not a learned thing and never will be, so we do not need to reassure people that they are being a good human being when giving preferences.
What do I do? I mean she kept this from me sure, but she was afraid to lose me. I know her, and this secret must've been killing her.
Everyone tiptoes around everything, it absolutely ridiculous.
If you want to eventually have sex with someone with a penis, go for it, if not, there is no path forward. Your love for her does not matter, if you are not interested in a penis, it's not going to work, or you'll just be sexless, which also will not work. Even surgery does not fix this. Surgery is not magic.
But the thing here that “worries” me about you OP, is that you do not seem to mind that you have been led on and lied to and now you are being manipulated into staying. One of the reasons she is so afraid of losing you is because it is incredibly hot for a trans person to find a straight someone who accepts them as who they are in terms of a continuing relationship. If it's not upfront, it causes issues. She is at least partially worried that she will not find another man (and of course losing someone with a connection).
Everyone will hate me and call me a bigot, but it is absolutely true. It is NUDE for transgenders, that affects their decision making. I am not a bigot, I feel bad for trans people because they have such a naked life.
Find a better partner that fits you.
Woman next to me in the recovery ward after I gave birth had just had her first, at 49. Had always thought she’d be child free but as she got older realised it’s something she really wanted. Took a while, and I’d assume some help, but a healthy baby boy. (Personally I think 49 is pushing it but just saying it’s possible!)
Sorry im not saying to break up. But im just saying see what they want
I usually borrow one of his but after this I will be buying my own second pillow and getting his and hers pillow cases since it doesnt seem like he wants to share any pillows.
She probably wanted a good tip and was just being friendly.
Look, person with trauma to person with trauma. It sounds like your girlfriend is over justifying due to your reaction. Whether it be emotional or verbal.
Sometimes partners need their own thing. I have a job, I work with many many women in a very social industry. I started almost two years ago. When I first started it was a me thing and I laid out my boundary. My wife could have gotten a job there too and that would have been nice to some extent but I wanted a space I could be myself and not just X’s wife. So I kept all that super separate. I didn’t want to be a mum or a wife or part of my family unit in the contact of my new friends. I love my family and they’re my world but I wanted friends that knew me as me and not just my roles in other peoples lives.
Two years on and they all know my wife and kids. They’re Artie’s kids and Artie’s wife. Which is what I needed in my life. Friends who I got to know as me and I could introduce to people separately. They love my wife and kids but I’m their friend and work colleague.
My wife and kids have these relationships too. It’s a good thing.
You need to literally say to her, I get it. I love seeing your work that you post. Maybe we should fine/ make a group together as well! That could be fun.
Anything that shows support for her.
He's given you a gift: a preview of what your married life would be like. You will be responsible for planning and coordinating things. He'll resent you for trying to make sure he holds up his side of things, but he'll also totally fail to follow through. If you were to have children… Don't expect him to be anything approaching an equal partner in parenting.
This is just one incident, but it sounds like this is completely in line with his normal behavior. Set aside your idealized version of him. If this is how he acts forever, do you want to be married to him?
You asked her out and she said yes. You have the green light. The next level is inviting her back to your place.
If you have eating disorders and you are skinny or underweight you will pose a high risk for recovery: your heart may not be able to cope with such a dramatic change. When you have Eating disorder you body is actually struggling, it weakens everything. For your heart to have to work extra hot to pump blood around a new sudden mass on your body, the risk is high (fun fact: women with large breast implants have hearts that are akin to 50 year old hearts with high cardiac arrest risks it’s been shown in studies.)
And that’s if the surgery is successful. If you pose a high risk you could die on the operating table and healthy girls 21-23, getting BBL surgery.
You legit want to risk dying for a guy who says he’s attracted to children and makes you feel bad about your body?
Fuck that
In a comment you mentioned that you met on deployment and he called it quick while he was deployed? If so, I would definitely take a step back and have a conversation. My husband went through a lot of different thoughts while on deployment and then it just got worse when he got back from ptsd. His kind is probably going through all sorts of things and maybe rushing things cause he needs someone.
Then don’t be such good friends with him. You’re too old for this high school shenanigans.
?
I noticed my friend saw me go into that la la fantasy land phase and she just said are things ok do you need a moment together? yes emphasis on together. for the rest of the day i was shaking and i decided to not talk to him and consult another doc if i needed help whilst on placement.
I'm not even reading this shit. If you're stupid enough to stay around and allow him to treat you this way, you deserve it.
It was a week later and it simply just sounds passive aggressive
Stop picking him up. Flat out refuse. Tell him to find a ride. Or better yet, break up with him for wasting your time.
This is great news, he told you he was a cheater and now you don't have to waste anymore time in this relationship.
Incorrect, that song was originally called “brown skinned girl” – it was about an interracial relationship.
Thank you for the thoughtful response, it means a lot. Hearing about your relationship is really helpful.
I’m taking your advice to heart as well. Just looking at it, I can already say for 2 he would be unhappy with me going out alone. Which is another separate issue. Definitely going to reflect a bit on this relationship now even though I love him.
Thank you very much again.
She could be a flirt. Some people are just flirts.
But if she really liked you or was free to date she would have said yes.
She said no so take as she's not interested in you
You've never seen an outdoorsman or sports fan go on a weekender? They do it, and yeah every month isn't unheard of.
Obviously they are dating lol, I never said otherwise. But if you're spending all your free time with someone, you don't have time to spend more. Yeah they're not living together, thank god, but it's silly to discredit someone for spending 90% of their free time with their SO as not “all their time” instead of 100%.
His expectations are unrealistic, point blank. She does not need to invite her SO and/or her SO's daughter to her decompressing time. That's it. Nothing further. He wouldn't have a problem if she was doing something he saw as “worthwhile,” but because it's not important to him that OP has this time, he wants to infringe on it and control her. That is not okay. It does not matter what the reasoning is. If my husband wanted to go spend a weekend alone just to chill and do nothing, I'd let him. My biggest concern would be expenses, but OP doesn't share finances with her bf, so again – none of his concern.
Thank you for that. We are both in therapy. But haven’t done it together yet. ??♀️
I’m at a point where I’m really struggling to want to keep this relationship going.
I would tell him that and see if it gets him to be more proactive here. If it doesn't, then do what ya gotta do.