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Stefan, ía or Samchispas, 99 y.o.
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Just stopped around to give you a /clap for your courage and behaviuor, and hope everything goes on better from now on.
For advice…cant really tell at glance the best course of action, but I'd try to keep being level headed and courteus when writing her, thing I would most probably do.
OP, she’s been at the very least emotionally cheating on you for a year. She definitely intends to sleep with the ex, and obviously was going to physically do it if she hasn’t already.
It’s not gonna get better for you or your kids to be around that level of toxicity. It’s gonna be nude, but you know what you need to do.
Getting upset temporarily is normal in relationship. Of course issues with communication go a long way towards destroying relationships.
Perhaps you can try to send her message (as it allows you to calmly asses what you want to convey to her), and explain everything you think and feel on these matters.
You should mention in it that lack of communication from her will make your relationship imposdible in the long run, and you want to properly hear her thoughts and complains so that you can adress them together.