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I’m 6 years into my relationship and so pregnant I’m about to pop. I’m stuck in the hospital too and just…not my sexiest self at the moment. My husband gave me a massage on just my belly and boobs last night, and even though the belly both makes us less horny (because we think about the baby, not because it’s not beautiful – knowing baby is there just kills the mood)…still just a nonsexual massage of these body parts gave him a boner. That’s super candid to put on the internet I know. But it illustrates my point – 6 years in we do still get attracted to each other just being naked. We still love to have sex. I think when people have your boyfriend’s mentality about “long relationships” (4 years is long but in terms of a marriage…is it?) that they usually create self fulfilling prophecies. Maybe Idk!
I accidentally walked in on my parents having afternoon sex on a weekday when they were in their 60s. Spooked me but like…if they are still feeling it after 35-40 years – well your boyfriend is wrong that “everyone feels this way”…
So from the post it would seem you should leave him. However I wonder how much of this is caused by your former jealousy towards his other friends. Other than that you haven't really described him as a person and how was your relationship in general going. These are relevant informations.
You forgot the part where you ask for advice about a relationship
Yes, this one right here!
Break up. There’s no compromising on having kids.
Where you're completely out to lunch is that he has loved that child. It's not such an easy decision to totally cut off from a child you have loved.
I'd have to guess you don't have children. It's naked to think that you do, and still tell another person to just drop the child cold.
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Yes it is. You assume the risk of pregnancy by engaging in sex. Sex exists to create babies. That is why it is impossible to prevent pregnancy with 100% efficacy aside from sterilization. Name any other activity where you assume risks to engage in said activity, but then have the option to opt out when you get unwanted consequences? Getting into a car carries a risk of an accident, we all know that, accident victims don't get to opt out after the fact; smokers don't get to opt out of cancer; etc. The time to opt out is before you assume risk. If you aren't mature enough to handle the consequences of your actions then you weren't mature enough to partake in the first place.
If you’re not comfortable, tell him that. You should be doing something to celebrate that you both enjoy.
Info (dony answer if you're not comfortable)
Do you have sex with him?
Do you want to have children with him?
I know friends are great at being there for each other. But it's a different level of fulfilling that tends to be wanted from an actual partner. Does he fulfill any of your emotional needs?
All of what she described is manipulative and shitty and a terrible way to treat another person. None of what she described is grooming.
Well if the dad is lying then the mom will know as well considering she knows about the bastard child. Or supposed to know at least. Either way the dads lies will come out. No need to wait. For what? For dad to finish getting rid of evidence? Fat chance
He is probably afraid he will get arrested for messing with a child.
Everything about their conversation, and just the fact that it’s happening in the first place, is suggesting that she either already cheated on you or is currently debating cheating on you.
She went dancing with a guy, texted him first, and didn’t give a clear rejection when he invited her to his room. Those are the actions/words of someone who doesn’t give a fuck about their current relationship.
You and the previous comment don’t deserve to get downvoted. This sub and its weird lack of common sense is bizarre sometimes
Your degree is for you. It’s so yoI can flourish in life. Jesus Christ girl don’t give that up for any man. No amount of love is equivalent to a degree in hand. If he needs a mommy for his issues, you can do so after you have a degree. Don’t sacrifice your figure for someone. For anyone
Well if it was any type of reminder that she set on her phone, she must be sharing that particular app with your bfs phone.
Are they friends? Do they hang out outside if work doing health related stuff (running, gym, etc.)?
I don’t get some of these responses.
My partner and I use to commute together every day, almost 2 hours one way. There were times we couldn’t sit next to each other. Occasionally a woman would sit next to my partner and yes, they’d fall asleep on his shoulder. Not once did I get upset or jealous or angry. I mean, here’s a nice guy letting someone use him as a headrest and I get to call him my partner. It was yet another demonstration of the great guy that he is.
Your GF’s reaction seems really extreme.
I think you and your GF need to talk about boundaries, so that you can be respectful of hers. And to dive deeper into whatever insecurity had her reacting so negatively to you doing a nice thing.
Honestly, if you read something like this what advice would you give? Are you serious?
Engagements at under 1 year are CRAZY. Like, don’t you want to make sure you can handle family holidays together before you make a lifelong commitment?????
Do you have a question?
she's gonna get me for child support
Oh, she'll do that regardless.
But hey, you keep the home and the kids, she can pay you!
Ask yourself, first. Are you “chill” with never ever ever having anything more meaningful with him than casual sex? Because if you're not, you're asking the wrong question here.
Don't be one of those women who puts their dick before their kids.
I'm not even an anti smoking nut but if someone blew smoke in my kids face I would lose my shit. A newborn? Are you fucking kidding me? Who's going to protect that baby if you won't?
Total BS he's feeding you.
“I’m a man it’s going to happen sometimes.” So, this is his get out of jail card if he's ever caught cheating. Either that, or he's gonna blame you for him cheating.
Perfect, yeah, right
He does not value you as an individual. When he looks at you he only sees HIS wife or the mother of HIS children. YOU as a person don’t exist anymore outside of the roles you play in HIS life. This is probably a situation where therapy is going to be needed for him to understand that you wanting to have personal time does not equal betrayal.
My first thought is he is cheating and grasping at straws for a way out.
My first thought is he is cheating and grasping at straws for a way out.