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Model from: in
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1999-02-10
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityIndian
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Saving for future reference, it'd be an interesting compromise to propose
She's keeping you around for whatever reason but essentially, she has another boyfriend.
She's controlling you by threatening to break up with you. her and her boyfriend, sadly, get a kick out of belittling you. Can't see any other option than that being the case.
If you truly cared about this person you'd urge her to get into some counseling to improve her self-loathing. When someone has low self esteem like this you can never be sure if they truly want you or are just settling for you because they don't think they can do any better. That said, once she's put in some time in therapy and is feeling better about herself do your proposal in private. Nothing positive ever comes from trying to make a public spectacle out of something so intimate as asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you. But don't ignore her obvious emotional crisis. Being this unsure of yourself is a sickness and it's not something cute or desirable. If you proceed without letting her get her mental health together first you're just asking for an eventual divorce. Be smart about this.
Good luck with it all.
If counselling is unaffordable for you (maybe there’s a university student clinic for grad students to get their hours up or something worth investigating), then start with talking to her or trying to.
You might start with ‘I feel’ type statements with her (maybe there’s some websites that give tips on trying to broach subjects with partners that can help with wording).
I don’t think your marriage is over if both of you can be committed to working on improving things.
You are clearly unhappy and shouldn’t be feeling like every conversation is a battleground for supremacy. It’s meant to be a team, so talk to her and see what’s going on. You e mentioned her controlling mum so maybe she needs space to work on her issues too.
Good luck. I hope all of these issues (like you being sole breadwinner) can be worked through together.
There’s a a lot of “I” statements in your post. You clearly struggle with empathy. Your boyfriend has had a bunch of trauma. Now he has a girlfriend with narcissistic tendencies. No wonder he’s depressed and crying all the time.
Your groomer brother wants to talk to his victim?!?! Wtf?? Amy dosnt owe that groomer shit!! He btoke it off with her she can date whoever the fuck she wants. If anyone owes groomer a conversation its Levi as that's his brother but even then I don't feel bad for your older brother. I see in the update you told him and he flew a rage! How the fuck are you surprised because none of the rest of us are. You moronically stuck your big nose in someone else's shit. I find it mind boggling that instead of saying Levi how could you do this to your brother your blaming the victim and trash talking her. Instead of holding both brothers accountable you blame the only person who dosnt owe your family any type of loyalty. Your older brother is disgusting and so are you for siding with him.
Don't do this. It can only end badly for you (making the friend resentful of you etc). I would just ignore it all.
To put a different spin on it id like to share that my friend and I sometimes talk about nude guys or girls we see. We share screen shots of their fb profilt pic, or similar stuff. We've even told our husbands on occasion. Neither of us are interested in any other person apart from our partners. We are 100% faithful and feel not sexual urge towards anyone else, but we enjoy the chit chat of appreciating something aesthetically pleasing.
End it. End it. End it. End it. End it. End it. Etc.
I don’t think you two are meant to be together. She clearly has a difficult time with your late wife having such a huge presence in your life (you still grieving her is understandable) and she took all of her frustration out in the worst way possible. Especially involving your daughter was a horrible thing to do. You did the right thing by choosing your daughter and kicking her out.
I do understand why she struggled with you having lots of pictures of your late wife out in the open and even talking to them. She must have felt like she was on a second place to you (and yes, she is when it comes to your daughter, but in this case she felt like she was never going to be loved the most romantically by you and most likely that is the case). Her insecurity is understandable and I can be empathetic towards it – an ideal partner is able to deal with their partner grieving another person and there are many people like that in the world. Your girlfriend just isn’t one of them and staying in this relationship would not be good for either one of you because you cannot provide each other what you guys want and need.
Let me reiterrate that she was very wrong in how she approached this. I do not condemn such actions and yes, you should stay broken up for the sake of your daughter, you and her. This is not healthy for anyone.
When you’re really attracted to someone and are in the talking stage, you never forget that they texted you because you are constantly checking your phone for their text. No matter how busy you are
Your friend is disgusting, I hope he sues her.
He shit in all the trust you put into the relationship to go sleep with someone who made him feel exactly the way he made you feel. He knew EXACTLY how you'd feel when you found out about it, and he did it anyway.
You are a better person than me if you can forgive that and not spend the rest of your life looking over his shoulder. It would've been bad enough if it was a one night stand, but this is his ex-wife and the mother of his child. He will be spending time around her indefinitely. He set it up to be mad at you about anything just so he could justify going through with it. I wouldn't say another word to him. Pack and leave or have his stuff ready to go if he lives with you.
maybe
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He also has been making his point that it’s only fair because I didn’t have coverage, along with pointing out any other cosmetic problems it had before crashing that may have contributed to the car breaking as bad as it did.
I've worked in auto insurance a long time for property damage and liability (among other things) in the jurisdiction of almost 50 states and I can confidently say your boyfriend is actively trying to screw you, like you fear.
Let's get this straight, you did have coverage for the accident; you had liability coverage because that is what is paying for the parked car. So, your insurance literally is paying for his stupidity.
You just didn't have Collision coverage, which the vast majority of people do not have for a 30 year-old vehicle because the cost of having it insured for Collision (the first party coverage on your policy that pays for damage to your own vehicle) is not worth it, compared to the value of the vehicle or damage, etc.
OP, if not for threat of the law, he would have left the people who he hit high & dry. He is attempting to do the same thing to you. I am telling you, without a doubt, that he owes you for damaged property. What is the proximate car of your vehicle being damaged? It's not the fact that you did not pay for Collision coverage (which is expected) or that he had permission to drive your vehicle, it's his own lack of attention. This isn't a situation where you handed your keys to someone who was impaired; he assured you that he could take care of the vehicle and he assumed the risk of driving a vehicle without collision coverage.
(One thing to think about is, if he has any auto insurance on his own you could try to make a claim against him to see if your vehicle could be qualified as a non-owned vehicle by the policy-holder under secondary coverage. This is a long shot and he probably doesn't have insurance but it's something to consider.)
Normally, if you have collision coverage the insurance company would take in account the year/make/model of your vehcle, the condition, and try to figure out the cash value. If this were insurance, they likely would not pay you for the $2k of work you put into your vehicle, just that it is a vehicle in very good condition. The price would also be for what it is to have a comparable model (or something like that). It sounds like the cosmetic problems he's whining about are likely surpassed by the work your vehicle had anyway.
I'd take his ass to small claims court because I don't know how much it costs to hire an attorney or how much your vehicle would even be worth. I fully agree with dump & sue.
TL;DR: The fact that you were incredibly stupid in letting anyone borrow your vehicle when you do not have collision insurance and are strapped for funds does NOT mean that he does not owe you. Dump him. Sue him. Hopefully someone on this board actually knows about attorneys, but FOR THE LOVE OF GODT, STOP GIVING HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT (about being nude up for money, so are YOU) and GET YOUR MONEY BACK.
He does everything for me. I go to his house he feeds me etc, I don’t lift a finger, he knows how to he’s pretty good like that very independent. But the issue it’s too independent. I’m not worried about that
Kylie Jenner has had so much plastic surgery to look the way she does. He needs a reality check and shouldn’t be talking to you like your one of the boys.
If you are going to get the surgery make sure it is for yourself and not him. Make sure you are taking care of yourself mental and physically.
Tell him to get the boob job himself so he doesn’t waste his own money
My mother doesn't care. I'm crying I mentioned it ? but yes my gf does so I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!
He's too old for you, honey. Definitely explore other men, but not by cheating. Just tell him you're not ready to commit to him and you need to break up and see what else life has to offer.
No offense man, maybe she is monkey branching. Or maybe she is cheating on you. Maybe she just really enjoys the attention.
But to me, there isn't anything innocent about it in any of those scenarios.
She clearly know he has ulterior motives. He is actively flirting with her, and she is flirting back by constantly wanting to be around him. She doesn't shut anything down.
If this is just for attention, that means she is disrespecting your relationship (and you) but entertaining this for her own ego and benefit.
Personally, this is a deal breaker for me. I think she just doesn't respect you or the relationship is she is consistently entertaining this behavior from him, and seeking it out!
Ya know, he isn't worth it. Relationships should be easy and if he is giving you grief over this, what's next? And so what if you want to be a crazy cat lady? Real men love cats.
If you wait a year you will have the same argument at that time and you will have set a precedent.
I agree that many men view women as objects for their sexual pleasure. I also know tonnes of women who can enjoy porn without viewing men as sexual objects.
The problem in this instance isn’t porn, it’s the type of porn that’s being consumed. Lots of amateur and female focussed porn represents porn in a much more realistic way. Perhaps it’s the case the men are more likely to watch the unrealistic, misogynistic, over produced porn, whereas women might be more likely to watch realistic porn with actual foreplay?
If all one’s watching is women getting gang fucked or even just sex between a man and a woman where no foreplay happens for the woman and she just gets fucked without being warmed up, then of course a guy will likely start to view a woman as merely a sexual object.
Perhaps in this sense the porn industry needs a shake up and men need to wise up to the affects their chosen misogynistic porn choices are having on their sex lives, but porn certainly shouldn’t be banned or viewed as entirely negative when so many people (pretty much all women I know who watch it) can enjoy it in healthy moderation and without it ruining their sex lives.
In fact, some female pleasure oriented porn can be incredibly empowering for women, and could certainly teach men a thing or two about female sexuality.
To conclude that porn is an evil because a certain sector of the industry promotes an unrealistic, harmful ideal and affects the way some men view women would be like saying weed should be outlawed and is entirely bad because some people can’t enjoy it in moderation without it negatively affecting their lives and altering their brain chemistry. This totally ignores the many benefits weed provides.
The negative effects of the porn industry is definitively an important conversation, but the discourse should be centred around why most porn has historically been influenced by the male gaze, and young people need to be educated that this representation is a totally fictionalised version of sexuality. Porn absolutely could feature more realistic healthy representations of sex. This could be great for all involved. Saying it’s all bad seems puritanical to me.
You're half right. He wants to move in with her and force her to take care of him. This was his opportunity to parasitize her, and she instinctively knew it. That's why she found her own place instead of talking to him like a healthy couple.
Because she already knows he's trash.
Does he have a high sex drive or just a normal one where he is looking for companionship and yours is just abnormally low? He sounds like a healthy man who made the right choice. Find someone who matches your energy. He's not the issue.
I’m not unhappy, but I have never had similar feelings for two different people at the same time and it’s really weird for me
You have done many many terrible things. Everything people about you in the comments is true. But I'm going to answer your question and give you advice on meeting with your son, since he's the one initiating contact. First, you need to follow any stipulations for him meeting you. Whether that means no Max, I'm public, whatever he wants, you do.
He is most likely going to rip you a new one. Things like all these other comments are saying. And you need to take it. You need to listen. Not only is it what you deserve, it's the very least you owe your son after all this time. And he still won't forgive you in the end. There's nothing you can do that will earn forgiveness.
Just for this once, do the right thing for your son. It may well be the last time you have the chance to.
I’m asking him to be more culturally sensitive and delicate with my parents this is his time to show he really wants me He’s going to have to be able to turn the other cheek if he wants this to work He’s being naive to pretend there aren’t cultural differences
Are you kidding me? Your father SPIT IN HIS FACE and your (ex-) boyfriend has to do all the work?! Lady, are you high? Your parents absolutely, positively, without reservation owe him an apology. What your father did isn’t culture. It’s HATE.
He deserves better.
This isn’t my account, it’s a throwaway of a friend but I noticed the irony in that ? sadly that’s been the main issue I’ve dealt with considering most people my age are sexually active
Yeah, I feel like a weak-ass financial donation would do more. Pay for the actual, qualified workers to do their jobs, buy food and medicine for them etc.
What meaningful “work” could a busload of tourists be doing for a single day? Unless you're a bunch of influencers doing a PR push to get all the orphans adopted by your followers, I don't see what you could possibly be accomplishing lol.
Exactly. She shouldn't date a POS.. He needs to stay single for a very long time.
Might I ask why? You seem very set in your ways, but you chose to make an account to post this. Was this simply to vent, or are you actually asking for advice?
You're both almost 40. Speak.
“Hey, why are you keeping nudes of these guys?”
Don't cry about it or yell or scream, just ask her straight up and express your concerns about what this means for your relationship. You should obviously stop snooping and gain some security and confidence in yourself, but there's nothing wrong with having that conversation. Ask her and listen to what she has to say.
Okay. You need to take this as a wake up call and not an attack. If you are serious about moving forward, being a functional adult/partner is absolutely something that you should address.
Do you know how to do your own laundry? What household duties are your responsibility? What do all the things your parents pay for cost?
Please. Take a breath and think about what it takes to have a home, watch your parents. Ask questions.
In your situation you are so lucky to have a safety net. You can be a good partner, but you’re going to need to reflect on what that means.
“To her this “game” is slimy and says it reflects on my character as a person.”
Either she has the mentality of a 15 years old kiddo, or does not know nothing about how the real world works. I dont want to make assumptions here but, has she ever worked for anyone? On anything that was not like a small – familiar bussiness?
You did fine sir, congrats on your new job and salary.
I know this sounds super exaggerated but she knows that my bf and her ex talk about shit at work so she does SPECIFICALLY ask me if I heard anything and asks me no word of a lie dozens of super specific questions per hour. I have a nude time talking to her about anything other than this. Her and my bf are also relatively close and he doesn’t even wanna be around her bc she puts him on the spot and literally won’t shut up about it. She says she just wants answers so she has closure which I understand… but like you guys said I also agree that now she’s single it’s none of her business. I guess for my own sake I only have the urge to tell her to try and get her to get over the convos about him regretting it and coming back like she thinks he will. It almost sounds selfish on my behalf now that I’m typing it but Idek anymore lol
Red flag, hon. He's angry because you are happy and have money of your own. This is controlling.
I can count on one hand how many times I've been over drawn in the past year. He is overdrawn at least 3 times a month.
Being overdrawn EVER is not good money management. You are BOTH living beyond your means.