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More likely to matter to boys than it would to men, I find. As you get older you tend to learn that people have pasts.
This is terrible advice. She has communicated very clearly that she doesn’t feel comfortable with her partner watching porn, I imagine it would be extremely uncomfortable for her to literally witness her partner watching porn.
The solution here is for OP and his girlfriend to break up because they clearly have different boundaries in their relationship and OP is not willing to honour hers.
Oh dude PLEASE! You are never too old to pick up and move somewhere. Whenever I have decided I wanted to try a new city, I went! I have lived in: Dallas, Austin, Manhattan, LA (and environs); San Jose, Seattle, Sydney, Rio, Rome, now in DC. DC will probably be home for a few more years, but I plan on retiring to either Sydney or Costa Rica (distant third option is Belize).
Save every dime you can and do it – it's not going to come to you. And don't talk yourself out of it with 'what ifs'.
Good luck OP!
How do you know she's not telling her friends this stuff in private?
Tell him to fuck off and do what you want to do. That's some crazy controlling shit.
Listen, its not ok to talk to your partner like that, let alone swear and shout, but at the same time i can see you are both burnt out and need massive help. Try looking for goverment help for the boys. I can promise you that your wife is as burned out as you are. Your daughter is probably feeling put to the side too.
Something tells me this isn’t the first time you’ve listened in on his therapy session.
I think that is a fair thing to bring up feeling burnt out with her. Maybe you could talk to her about needing a little time to decompress when you first get home. I know I definitely need a hot minute to drink some water and shake off the day when I first get home after a long commute. Maybe tell her something like you need at least 20-30 minutes to freshen up, change clothes, catch up on some memes, etc. so you both are on the same page about where to set expectations and meeting each other’s needs. If you consistently maintain this then she won’t have it in her head that you should always be on her schedule or meeting her energy level on demand.
Be honest with her, if sleeping with another person is a deal breaker for you, she should know that. Be firm to your convictions, telling her she can do it, then resenting her and breaking up does no one favors. He's also clearly not “like a brother” to her and may be approaching her.
She also should be careful drinking with anti-depressants. It's a bad mix and alcohol is a depressant, so she's not doing herself any favors with it. Tell her she should discuss it with her therapist to help her find healthy coping mechanisms.
So they, ‘ text sometimes, never really call, and see each other when they happen to be in the same place’. Yet for some reason somehow they’re in contact discussing taking a five week trip across the world together?? Yeah, no
Maybe this is his strategy to have sex. I would not take love words seriously on the second date.
How about “I’m sorry….. that I met you”