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This 100%
Also, what he said about diagnosing is something that I think it's pretty normal to feel if you have not discussed how communication should work exactly. You might want to give it a try. Share your ideas on how you think conflict solving should work for the both of you. Maybe you saying things like what you were saying sound to him too much like you're analyzing him. Maybe he needs a minute to calm down before discussing exactly what happened so be won't snap at your fair comments like that. It's best you lay it out before hand 🙂 This is just my experience tho. Do what works for you as well
if you regularly hangout with someone you had a sexual history with your partner does not deserve to be in the dark and maybe even find out years later in a drunken moment. you are providing the false equivalency of telling someone a specific situation that is relevant to them versus divulging every detail of your sexual past.
How is it escalatory? The guy started throwing “fucks” and “beaches” in her direction. It looks like it is the way they talk to each other.
In any case, BF could answer him in the language the guy is using himself or say something “I don't appreciate you talking to my GF this way. Please stop.”
You are victim blaming OP, i am not sure why. Victim is not supposed to ask for help? She disrespected her BF by asking? Victim is supposed to apologize to her bf who didn't do anything to deescalate this situation and told her to fuck off in the morning? It is pretty unexpected position for a “devoted feminist”
Honey… I’m sorry but there is no fixing this. He is emotionally abusive to you. He is belittling you.
You’re in your early 20s. 6 months is nothing. It’s an experience and will better you for the next guy, who hopefully will treat you better and like you deserve. Someone who will love you as you already are, not this AH who is trying to change you and “make you better.”
The rest of your life is not worth the “6 months you don’t want to waste.”
Your girlfriend should talk to her doctor about her medications, idk if she just takes anti-depressants or both anti-depressants and an ADHD med, but there may be more to her medication could do for her.
She may not have learned good coping mechanism for her depression and ADHD symptoms as a kid and that is something she needs to work on and you can help her by also looking into it with her and showing her you're with her and want to help.
Here is my experiences for reference. I have ADHD and depression, my partner and I have worked through 6 years so far and we started when I was 20.
I recently found out that women with ADHD are more likely to experience pmdd. I strongly suspect i have it, i personally feel i turn into a raging irritable sad crying monster a week to a week and a half before my period starts, This could also bw something your girlfriend experiences, my solution has been to just text my partner rather than verbally talk.
I also experience alot of emotional disregulation outside of that which is easier to work through but can still be overhwleming. This is where good coping mechanism come in to help work through it.
He could be just fine and have been raised with weird dating tips. He could be a controlling freak. You shouldn’t just keep moving along with the relationship, you should be asking him why he did those things, explain how you feel about them, and ask him to stop if you desire. This will tell you what kind of man he is.
Funny, she just told me we need to take things slower
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Ahhh, the “I'm an alpha” beta male. Wants to look tough no matter what. Drop him, that'll give him something to be embarrassed about.
He's already shown that he prefers to lie to you to prevent you from making fully informed decisions. What a waste of time he is.
At this point, I just think you are an idiot troll that can't read.
Definitely yes
On-line for your honey, your kids needs that. And…
She was never your friend, let alone your best friend.
Therapy, for you individually and as a couple if and when your ready.
I can see my bf saying something like this. He’d just rather elope and use the extra funds for us to travel, put towards a house, etc. so I can see if it’s not a priority for your bf, he’d want you to pay. Idk how extravagant you want but is there any room to compromise?
break. up. ?
Please comment with advice only. She or I don’t want your BS comments.
He had a lawyer, but they ended up costing thousands of dollars and got him literally no where bc they kept bantering back and forth with her lawyer or stupid things… we were finally able to save enough and paid that lawyer off, but now trying to find another has been difficult. He’s supposedly working on it though. His work schedule makes it really difficult and he travels for work a lot.
It’s not the waiting I’m worried about, it’s how to motivate him effectively to get the ball rolling and get this finalized…
I was not with the girl. I don’t know how or why snapmap says it is but it makes me feel so fucking dumb because my dream girl doesn’t trust me
I don’t think this is something that I would expect anyone to discuss with me beforehand. It’s a chain restaurant.
wow, I never thought about it like that, solid point!
Yes. You were wrong. Also even your normal tip amount is low. 20%+ has been the standard a long time if you're in the US.
i only know when i’m having one with a vibrator but not when i’m having penetrative sex.
Are you sure you’re not actually 13 but have put adult ages in here because Reddit won’t let children post?
Seriously. Your post sounds like a 13 year olds.
She has autonomy. She chose him not you. She is allowed to chose, you don’t own her.
Move on. This will teach you that life sucks and nobody is entitled to anything. You will need this life lesson when you are an adult.
It’s actually a good idea if the kids into it me and my son play video games together all the time and it’s our way of hanging out when he’s at his moms
Dump her. She doesn’t respect you or your boundaries and is either already fucking this dude, or planning to.
She has a job. According to her post history, she works at McDonald's. She needs a better paying job.
Responding here because I’ve been her in this dynamic. I can almost guarantee that she feels like that because you’ve shown her that things fall apart without her. People generally don’t take all of this on, resentfully, unless they have to. If she’s let you handle the boiling water a few times and it’s boiled over every time, then she’s not going to bother asking anymore. If you want to take those responsibilities back (and you should grow the fuck up and do so) then you need to have a concrete plan for how to do better. She obviously sees things as issues before you do – so how are you getting better at identifying issues earlier? Sounds like you need to do a lot of reading on emotional labour and see where you can step up.
If individuals actually behaved the way people on Reddit claimed the world would be a better place. That’s why the brother deserves the praise because what he did was a difficult thing to do.
Probably the happenings of an entire evening where you weren't really with it to begin with.
I mean, sure, OP could most unfortunately come down with alzheimers or suffer a severe head trauma, but I assumed ordinary circumstances didn't need to be stressed.
Everyone in this thread is pretending they never went on a porosity?
All videos are labeled as “teen”, even if the woman is 40 years old…
My husband has been hinting at me to get a boyfriend for a while.
Husband of the year.
Now he's sulking. What a man.
You married a dud. So sorry for you. 11 year marriage, it's a damn shame.
You ever going to trust this guy to stay monogomous? Strong likelihood he'll be joining these dating sites in secret, you'll be none the wiser.
Stick to your guns, be strong. Don't let him guilt you into this.
Yes they do, good job. Sexual coercion, however, is defined differently than coercion on its own like you just used it, as we've already discussed. The act of sexual coercion does include physical force according to the resources linked above, while coercion alone is defined as employing violence and/or threats. This is the difference between sexual coercion and rape and why they are two different crimes/forms of sexual assault.
No yeast infection haha, this hasn’t happened whilst he’s going down on me, but the idea of it happening has made him stop, thanks for your concern tho 🙂
The answer to your question is neither.
Neither of your careers or happiness should be given the spotlight. This thinking leads to resentment (and in your case it already has).
You need to work out what is best for your family – so sit down and crunch the numbers, and answer some difficult questions You say there are jobs in your home town that he could, but what do they pay? How long, if ever, would it take your husband to make the same money he is now? Why can’t you get a job where you are living now? Where is there better money and prospects for your career? Is there anywhere else you both could go (say somewhere between where you are now, and where you’re from) where you both could get jobs?
Why do you want to move back – list the reasons out, and then defend them yourself (so ask yourself why those reasons are important, and ask yourself how important are they) and alter your list of reasons appropriately based upon your defence. Same for him, ask him why he wants to stay, then he defends his reasons to himself, then he adjusts as well. This part is better done apart, as it is for you to personally understand why you are wanting it.
Then show each other your list of reasons (but not your defence) and then he has to defend your reasons to you, and you have to defend his to him.
So for example you want to be around your elderly parents. So when he gets your list, he has to argue that you should move, and one reason is because of your parents, and xyz is the reasons why it is important to do so.
This way hopefully you both will see the merits of each others points of view and hopefully be able to work together on a compromise, or move/stay based on mutual understanding and agreement.
Its totally normal for people to check out other good looking people however your BF's particular attitude is immature and somewhat degrading.
He is envious.
This us why he said “you bite off more than you can chew”.
You bite off exactly WHAT you can chew.
Where he doesn't bite off half of what he could and reposes on you for the rest.
And resents you for that.
Honestly… I would get so frustrated with that guy… so incredible ungrateful he sounds.
Judging stay at home moms… but not doing really much more…. that's so gross.
To say “he loves you, but…” reverses his wordings. The word “but” expresses a mental U-turn!
Meaning: he doesn't love you.
His envy has eaten up much of what there once was.
What I don't get with envious people is, that rather than shaping up and getting a better paid job for himself or change what he gets to bite out of life.
He just sits on his bum and pouts and is angry at mommy. All mommies (yours by extension) fault… not his.
Again… it is not YOU not doing your duty as a wife!
It is HIM not doing HIS duty as a husband!
Him calling you “mentally still a fat girl” is really mean.
Your marriage is one horse pulling off a two horses carriage while the other one trotts along with no weight to pull off.
And still kicking and biting over to tge one pulling!
I would honestly consider divorce if I were you.
We bought the house here but have no support system at all. We had to literally throw a random neighbor down as an emergency contact. Its a small command with like 3 people in his office, and we on-line an hour from if work so it's not like they don't want to help, it's just not realistic. So I'd definitely have to move back home to my family if I were going to be single parenting.. which I can do I'd just need to find another job and everything.. I also already gave notice to this job and we had already started to buy the house in the new place so that is another huge stressor :/
Thank you for saying that.
I think there are a couple places where I balk (young kids, not having a career, loving in a SHCOL place, and generally not having my ducks in a row), but in the end, the delaying and standing in my own way only prevents me from being happy.
My choices have repercussions, and I recognize that.
I am working on it, so thanks for the encouragement.
It means a lot.