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i didn’t tell her to delete it i told her we can talk it out and establish relationship boundaries what we both feel comfortable with and want and she refused. it’s immature to not communicate
He is from a Muslim family and I have no religion
Jesus Christ. You’re jealous of a plushie? An inanimate object? Are you a troll?
She developed a relationship she wanted to explore sexually but didn’t want to risk losing the security of the relationship with you. She chose security over desire for now.
Two months per year, is a lot of time away from your husband. For him, with you and the baby gone, it probably seems even longer. I can definitely see why he has an issue with it.
At the beginning if our marriage, my wife went to see her grandmother in another country. She went for 3 months. Its was before the internet/mobile phones. So the only communication was via landline. We had to plan for a day and time. Calls were short, because of the cost.
When she came home, told her thst she ever did it again, I would leave. She has only been again, for a 3-4 weeks at a time, every 4 years.
When you go away, you have all you family and you. He is in your apartment/house all alone. It's a terrible feeling.
Hou really don't need to go so often and your family can travel to your country. I'd suggest you figure it out. For me it was a deal breaker. For your husband, it might be the same thing.
Good luck
Link?
Here it’s more the thought that counts, and getting her a gift at all is really sweet. Maybe a small skin or nail gift set, a nice candle, a cute scarf? Or even just baking a birthday treat for her would show her you like her.
Leave
The world needs more people who listen, rather than babble endlessly about themselves.
Best tip I can give you: People LOVE talking about themselves, so ask. Really listen to their answers. You may find common ground using that method, which will naturally lead the conversation in a fluid way that doesn’t feel forced. Second tip, is to be funny. Everyone loves to laugh, so don’t take casual conversations too seriously!
But you didn’t answered my questions and yes it was kind of a jab at you because of your opinion on this topic. So you think people who provide are manly man? I don’t get it does that mean that women who also provide are masculine? Do you understand what i mean?
maybe stop by one time at the hospital to let him know you're aware that he's in the hospital, and offer your support and maybe even a gift basket of some sort.
after the visit, if he doesn't say more to you, let it be. on the other hand, if he enjoyed the visit and offers for you to come again, then do so if you can. even if you're not friends now, it doesn't mean you can't become friends, but if he's not interested in being friends, then know that you did some basic things in acknowledging him as a human being who has fears and concerns and sadness going on right now in his life.
I'd wake his hungover ass up, make him feel like shit for the rest of the day
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Just move out, this man is a walking red flag.
If he gets aggressive, get a restraining order.
Why are you wasting your time with your father? Also, maybe some therapy for those unresolved issues.
Yeah, if he is having his hygiene slack, a lot, that means he doesn’t have things under controls
I say this as having had postpartum depression and gotten out of two heavily abusive relationships as well.
Sometimes, when you are in the mist of a mental health issue, we don’t realize how bad it is from the inside looking out.
Only those outside looking in can see what is going on in pattern of behavior to things that aren’t good for us. And because of this we’ll say it’s “fine”, that we “have it under control”.
But pride can get in the way big time when we are use to taking care of ourselves.
Op, he might not be ready for therapy, but you have to ask yourself, how long do you want to keep dealing with this if nothing changes? Another year? Two? Five? A decade?
Sometimes despite how much support, care, compassion, and love wee give… it’s not always enough if the person we care about isn’t willing to admit they need help and do something about it.
You may have to ask yourself a very difficult question and have a real uncomfortable conversation with him about this.
I'm also a member of the community as a queer person. I will def pirate it.
Yeah, your ex is bad news. He doesn't get to decide that you'll be in a relationship again. The very fact that you are feeling pressure to get back together with him is a whopping red flag.
I think you mean your NOW-EX boyfriend disregards your feelings and wants you to have an unnecessary surgery that you don't want
The last comment is unwarranted. It's because he's young and doesn't have the experience you have.
The last comment is unwarranted. It's because he's young and doesn't have the experience you have.
Open path collective. One time $30 fee to sign up and access to thousands of therapists (some who specialize in marriage) who offer discounted rates starting at $20-30 a session.
You are completely justified in ending the relationship
Or she phrased it that way because she genuinely wasn't attempting to accuse or thinking that her husband was cheating? I'm seeing a lot of “well, but the implication!” comments, but how could she have phrased the question to make it even less accusatory? There are very valid reasons to want to know if someone who shouldn't be in your bedroom has been in your bedroom that have nothing to do with cheating spouses, and I'm not sure there's any way to ask a question involving a bedroom, a babyitter and a husband in such a way that it can't be read as an accusation.
Yeah, dude, that's abusive. You don't need to put up with that garbage. See that curb? That's where she belongs.
Learn how to read. You’re projecting. I didn’t call him weak or a coward. I said that men can’t win sometimes because if they do nothing they are viewed as weak or a coward but if they beat up the burglar then he’s violent.
Completely unrelated to your situation in many ways (I am not suggesting this as a solution)
But
That is honestly one of the things that led me to becoming polyamorous. I felt like I just had too much love for just one person. I do find it helpful, honestly. When I start feeling too clingy for one fiancé, I snuggle the next.
It’s very much only an option for people that happen to be poly tho.
Being poly by duress, or poly when you’re very much not poly, is really unhealthy (and from what I’ve heard from other poly people with BPD uniquely difficult in many ways mentally)
Dunno if I really have any advice for you, unfortunately. What worked for me won’t work for most people.
But I am happy to talk if you need to talk to someone, as someone who has felt that way before
Therapist for the depression first of all.
Secondly, his response is valid. You're 21, unemployed, and have no children. If the house isn't clean and that's what you agreed to do when this dynamic was put in place then that's on you.
Thirdly, are you giving him compliments? Hugging him? Initiating physical contact? Asking him how he is? Taking him on dates?
He's not there to make your life a walk in the park whilst you sit around doing i don't know what all day. You're meant to be a team and you're clearly not pulling your weight based on this.
The relationship dynamic is not balanced based off your description. So you have three options.
1) Discuss cleaning standards and come to an agreement. 2) Get a job, pay your share, split responsibilities. 3) Break up.
Either way talk it out.
There's this platitude, “men are visual creatures.” I think that's a stupid phrase that people say to get women to care more about how they look than about how men treat them. But men have probably internalized it.
thanks for your comment – I just spoke with her today and she told me she felt sorry for all that she'd put me through and expressed hope that things would get better for me…to which I acknowledged with a thumbs up to avoid showing any of the emotions I felt when she said that. The one thing I wanted to tell her was to reiterate that I think she needs to seek help…but I decided against it to save myself another emotional rollercoaster.
I'm sorry people aren't giving you the answers you were looking for, however, that does not mean that they're “bashing” you. I understand that she's your soul mate, but it sounds more like a platonic soul mate than a romantic one. Sex sounds like it's a big deal for you, and yet it's not for your partner. I get the trauma piece, but I think you each have to talk to a professional about this if you want to make it work with her.
DTMFA
Have your wife look into pelvic floor therapy, there could be issues happening she's not aware of…happened to a friend of mine, the therapy really helped.
Some truths:
Access doesn’t equal attraction
If they wanted to cheat they’d find a way, and likely she wouldn’t tell you ahead of time.
He is doing what he needs to stay faithful to his family. Leave him alone.
You can now see the bright side. It was a blessing that you couldn't have a kid with him.
Louis and I have to talk about things because our child has a medical condition and if our child get sick or anything happens it’s a a daily conversation.
They don’t like each other because I’m moving on from Louis.
Louis’s family invited me to their 1/2 day of Christmas, so it’s not even my family it’s my sons family.
You're welcome! I really hope things get better!
then you need to get rid of your wife not your daughter
I feel somewhat the opposite. The more in-depth and “venting” a post is, the more I feel like it’s just someone’s creative writing story. There are exceptions to that, but it’s the sense I’ve gotten after way too long on Reddit
Break up with him, block him, move on with your life.
He's asking you to wait around as the emergency backup lay while he tries to have sex with as many different people as possible. Don't you want better for yourself?