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You did the right thing. Even if he is mad at you give him some time and hopefully he will understand you did what you did because you live him. Besides, him telling you that he wanted to hurt himself may have been him subconsciously or consciously hoping you would help him in some way.
I had a friend who reached out to me in a much more subtle way and I didn’t recognize that it was a plea for help. He ended his life a few weeks later and it’s been one of the biggest regrets of my life. I guess what I’m saying is, the regret and sadness you would experience had you not tried to help him (via contacting his mother or any other means) is far worse than his anger for trying to get him help.
In the end, good on you for contacting his mother even though he told you not to. I hope he gets the help and care he needs to get him through this rough time.
I absolutely believe him, but that doesn't make it better. He shouldn't assume that, just because he forgot whatever it was, it wasn't important to her, or not important in general.
One of the compensations of age is that unpleasant incidents, even big ones, can just kind of fade into your mind's sunset, unless you make an effort to commit them to memory. Middle-aged people can get blindsided when this starts happening, and this post is a perfect example of what can go wrong as a result.
My biggest question is why does it matter if your ex doesn’t want you to date this other guy? He’s your ex. Just move on.
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Ugh, I'm sorry. This is very sad.
But the whole reason for saving oneself for marriage was back before divorce was generally acceptable, and saving oneself was a good way for women to maintain a guy's interest long enough to marry. Once married, they were stuck together whatever the case.
Nowadays, people expect good sexual chemistry, and have the option to leave. That was not always the case before.
Lesson learned. But next time, don't be afraid to get intimate with a partner before marriage. The earlier you both know there's solid physical intimacy, the better your next marriage may be. It's important!
Don't get married to someone you haven't been with for less than 2 years. Imo 2 years is still incredibly short, but it's better than five months
Telling someone to calm down is actually invalidating which can make things worse. Google six levels of validation and emotional support skills. Discuss those with her and ask her if that might help. And people often don’t want to be touched when they’re upset. So if all she’s doing is telling you to not touch her, that’s not lashing out at you. What is she doing that you think is mean?
But was he still frozen for two hours when friend harassed her to keep quiet?
You are if you choose not to tell him. You are in an awful position and I don't envy you at all. You are still young so it might be difficult to imagine being in his position but as a parent myself I know I would absolutely want to know if my wife had either been assaulted or had cheated and one of my children wasn't mine. It wouldn't change how I feel about my son, he would always be my son. I raised him and saw him through every milestone and families are not necessarily made through DNA. But it would impact my relationship with my wife because either she has gone through something horrific and hasn't felt comfortable enough in 20 years to confide in me or she has cheated on me and lied to me all this time. I would feel incredibly hurt and betrayed if I found out others knew and didn't tell me. I think my first move would be to speak to your mother. Tell her you know and ask her what happened then tell her she has to tell him or you will. It should not be something he should hear from his son so I would hope she would take that responsibility but if she refuses he definitely deserves to know.