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Win the custody of your 2 kids and don't reconcile with the h0e. Who tf goes all the way to leave a marriage and fuck some douche out of prison. This is why you don't date chicks with a string of abusive exes. It means they always prefer such dudes at the bottom of their heart.
May god grant us all a GF like you.
It makes total sense
If you honestly want the best for your partner and you now know that you are not it there is no other choice
Sure with therapy he might be able to sweep the pain , minimise it , but we all know it's not leaving. The relationship and trust within will never be the same as it was.
Her best option is to end the relationship completely and take a long time apart. If they come back together again at a later date it will be as close as can be to starting again.
Then maybe , maybe it might work …. But this relationship as it stands now needs to end.