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That is grooming behavior. Not ok.
This. This is actual gaslighting. There may be a medical explanation for one of you as other suggested, but the persistent awakening and your experimental certainty and now doubt is what gaslighting is really about. I hope it's medical and you two can return to normality.
Does what you talked about actually effect her or is she making it about herself? Like how did you hurt her feelings
So because internet built the internet in your opinion, it means is normal? Interesting causal link
He’s expressed that he would be fine stopping if I asked. I don’t want him to stop because I think it’s healthy and I don’t want to stop either.
Have you read her comment where she describes what she does that makes him mad? Cause that doesn't sound like sexual harassment to me.
Using your emotions to make your partner feel bad for not sleeping with you
This is definitely not what she's doing.
I don't think you should apologize because that would indulge her wrong theory that it was rape. She knows how to say no or stop. Saying she's uncomfortable and doesn't want people to hear is not the same thing.
Right
Why don’t you just ask him to stop bringing women up in conversation with you until you get a handle on things?
I do have a lot of sympathy for you. You've been played and don't quite realize it.
But you have to block his number and move on. If you're not strong enough to withstand his love bombing, that's the only way you're getting out of this mess. And you know that's what he's eventually going to do, which you can't resist, and then you're back to square one and tangled up in his mess.
Just block him. That's literally the only way to break this cycle. You don't deserve this and after some time without him you will see that, I promise.
What? Now everyone who goes to the gym cheats? Some of y’all so stupid I swear
Why are you putting up with this loser?
Gift it to his mother for her birthday! Simple solutions to simple problems LOL
Or if you're one of the 3% of people who dies as a result of BBL surgery.
So she refuses to actually work on the marriage. She’s not sorry, and she’s telling you that she will likely do whatever she wants.
I also noticed that there is no option where she leaves her job so that she doesn’t work with this man.
There’s also no option where she goes no contact with him.
Oh, and no option where she goes to therapy to figure her own shit out and stop making excuses for her shitty behavior.
Dude. OP. She’s not in the marriage. She told you because you are going to find out now that his wife knows.
Please save yourself from a lifetime of this bullshit and end this. You’re only 35. Can you imagine another 40 years of allowing her to use her trauma and mental health to betray and mistreat you and the marriage??
I just hate that he takes so long, he’s done this before where he’ll block me and give me silence for a week straight but he’ll keep my number unblocked so I can still text or call but never answers. I feel so bad the first couple days but once it hits three days I get mad because I’m over it at that point and he’s no where to be found
You didn't do anything wrong. The type of guy he is is a mamas boy. My guess is that part of the reason you barely argued in your relationship is that he doesn't know how to say what he wants to people, learned from his relationship with his mom. He won't stand up for himself (or you) to her. He doesn't like to rock the boat. He will go through his whole life doing what his mama wants, even at the expense of his partner, his children and himself. He's a mamas boy. Mama said it was time to break up so he did.
I'm sorry for your breakup. I'm sure you will find a man with a spine one day.
we all grasp you’re an awful person. How does it feel that your own parents don’t like you?
When someone you're dating tells you they have a mental illness you're absolutely within your rights to insist that they're actively in treatment or else you won't date them. But in this case his indecisiveness isn't necessarily owing to bipolar and could just be that he's a teenager. The real quandary here is your father. When a recently adult kid is just 19 a parent's job is to counsel them through an inadvisable relationship, not to cut contact with them. This on again/off again guy you're kinda, sometimes dating is a nude mess and this relationship likely isn't going to work out into anything longterm. But family is forever and you should try to find out what's going on with Dad. His response to this is just way bizarre.
And even if you have 100% proof that she was pregnant, OP doesn't have any proof whatsoever that the baby was his. Either way, the whole story sounds too pat. Sounds like Abc trapped OP.
My mother is sad and calls me pervert but still talks to me a bit. However,she takes my fathers side so also did not want to meet my gf.
I wonder if this is part of the issue. My college boyfriend had…. not great parents. But he still kept them really involved in his life. So I had to make a choice that if I wanted to be with him, I had to also be with them. If he went no contact or even low contact, I likely would have stayed.
Yeah mate will you expect an apology after he fucken KILLS YOU? Like girl, grow some sense, or at least some will to online.
'My husband drove off the road and made me paralysed, but he's such a nice person, how can I make him apologise?' –> see how stupid that sounds?
wake the f up.
So sorry to hear this. There is nothing wrong in having political beliefs, but when it is taken to the extreme then there is a problem. You mentioned Tik Tok, well that says it all. Look be honest with her, sit down and tell her your intentions. If she still does not listen or want to listen, then tell her this relationship is. falling fast and divorce is right around the corner.
Cut him out from your life and move on.
Even if it is just for fun, it's just a crappy thing to do to the men on the other side of this. I know men aren't supposed to have feelings or anything, but many of us do! And getting strung along as part of a game is pretty awful, even if they are men are on tinder.
Just take her out for a fancy meal instead.
That would be a deal breaker for me. TP is flushable for a reason. I don't even want to know what they do if they have “intestinal distress” yikes.
He is restricting normal communication with other people. Break up with him. He is likely doing a lot of other manipulative things rooted in extreme insecurity, don't let him get away with that, I can't imagine there isn't more going on if he isn't okay with you communicating with people in a video game.
I really do appriciate reading all the comments and I feel like i should clarify some things.
Maybe some extra useful Information:
Me: I'm a child from a narcissistic and alcoholoc dad and a manipulative mother. My ex had a lot of narcissistic tendencies. My therapist has diagones me with, abandonment issues, anxiety disorder and a very unhealthy attachment style where my brain chooses one person. I often wieght my options, positives and negatives but as stupid as it soundns, I dont what a healthy relationship with people is and I dont know if I can trust myself.
My boyfriend has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.
Its not like I dont see what could be going on. It's not like im unaware and blinded by what is going on. I know very well what manipulation and gaslighting looks like. My therapist descibred it as being in a 'trauma bond'.
What I am asking is if there is anyone that has ever been in a similar situation, how I can find a way to find the strenght to trust in myself or even to believe that not every relationship has to be this way. How can I build myself up?
I hope this helps.
Yeah I’m a second language learner and have a stutter too, this would beyond piss me off.
It’s childish as hell and seems to be used when there’s no real defense. Set a naked boundary and be ready to protect it
Yeah, this. I’m in my early 30s as well and haven’t found that there’s a difference in the quality of sex with younger vs. older guys. Every woman is different – your experience doesn’t matter, it’s about your attitude and willingness to learn what she likes.
Be enthusiastic. Take her cues – show interest in her pleasure and learning what she likes and doesn’t like. The first few times with a new partner are usually pretty mediocre, but by the third or fourth session it’s always very obvious whether they’re actually trying to learn or only interested in getting off.
The only thing that would make me completely stop seeing someone after sex is if disrespecting boundaries – stop immediately if she says stop, take any “no” as a very hot no (not a “maybe later”), don’t assume she wants to be treated roughly unless she asks for it explicitly, etc.