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Birth Date: 1999-11-24
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Glad that you’re going to do that! Well, I guess I was mostly unhelpful, but I just really want to reassure you that what you’re going through is way more common than you’d think. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. And since there’s decently straightforward medical fixes that you haven’t tried yet, you should have every reason to expect that you won’t have this problem forever. In the meantime, just keep doing everything you can to let your girlfriend know how much you love her and (when genuine) how attractive you find her. As the one in your girlfriend’s shoes, I felt so ugly and insecure/incompetent in my abilities to provide pleasure for the love of my life…maybe some of her pissy moods are also stemming from that. Sending you all the good mojo!
Agreed, she’d be doing the guy a favor. He deserves better than to deal with this level of hypochondria.
I seriously hope this is a troll post. Your kids are grown. You make the money. He’s only sticking around for your financial support. He’s blowing you off on your anniversary weekend to go be with his AP. What does he bring to the table?
Why would you even consider doing this? Get evidence of his cheating and get a divorce. This situation will drag you down and make you absolutely miserable. All while you’re footing the bill for him and his side piece.
Outdated term for autistic person.
100%
He’s expressed that he would be fine stopping if I asked. I don’t want him to stop because I think it’s healthy and I don’t want to stop either.
Happy birthday man! Don’t beat yourself up. I know it may be difficult but look at the silver lining…she’s willing to cheat with him, and he’s willing to take a married partner…once the fun is over so will that relationship.
How are you at holding conversations with people you know a lot about? How about people with a similar interest, or talking about an interest? How about someone you’re close to you haven’t seen in a while and are catching up?
Well maybe that's the issue then If all the women are gorgeous but you aren't then of course you're not getting swipes. What country are you talking about?
Your fiancé was just a flippant kid at the time. Trying to be the big guy in front of his nephew. It’s entirely up to you whether you end it or not. If you do, my guess is that you will spend a loooooong time regretting it. Good luck. ❤️
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would getting a solid answer help or hurt you in moving on?
Hello me from 20 years ago.
whatever you do make sure your contraception is bulletproof otherwise he will be that, stay-at-home dad, well you continue to support the family financially as well as do everything at home.
Please don't get trapped like I did and then spent 20 years of your life raising a man baby
He's 21 y'all
isn’t he “thinking lowly of himself” if he would initially just want to assuage you by deleting all of the nudes you sent him, because he is thereby reinforcing and accepting the fact that he may be a person to share your nudes? if he accepts that fact (that you may feel insecure because he may send them around),then why did he get mad when you said you would rather he keep them all bc you fear that he may be a person to send them? idk what’s up with him—he seems to understand your legitimate fear at first and want to make you feel better, but then he turns around and thinks you’re thinking lowly of him? what a weirdo he is, just know that if someone views you setting boundaries due to fear as “thinking lowly” so much so that it upsets them greatly and makes them mad at you, then they have serious mental maturity hurtles to get over
Op obviously this is a shock, I understand that it must have you thinking all sort of things but try and put things in perspective.
What would be the point of running away now? You’re already married and pregnant with twins, it’s not like you can just whisk off and pretend like none of that happened.
You will be part of each other lives forever at this point and you make no mention of being unhappy with your spouse…. I understand this change things, I just don’t think your life will get appreciable better if you leave now. You guys have two little ones on the way and will need to support each other.
He sounds like a real prince……….
At your first meet there should butterflies and excitement. He should be showing you the best of himself. If this is the BEST he can do, what will it look like months from now when he’s even more comfortable?
And I agree with the other poster. Look up negging. He’s dating someone much younger because the women his age have enough experience to see the red flags right away and won’t date him.
Breathe It sounds like your being laid off and subsequent job search have put you in crisis mode. I’m not saying your bf is right, that’s not nearly the most important part of this.
I’m going to talk about mental health. I’m not gaslighting you or suggesting this is all about you. I’m just identifying some thought patterns I’ve experienced myself and how they made me view the world.
Have you been treated for anxiety? Losing your job is legitimately a traumatic event and the feelings you describe seem much more like PRSD than a relationship problem. I know this might sound incredibly patronizing but it really can help to talk to a general practitioner and get some Zoloft or something.
Back to the topic… is your boyfriend’s behavior different than before you were laid off? It doesn’t sound like it. Did his outlook on life bother you this much before you were laid off?
Try this, tell him, “I know that you’re trying to give me the support you think I need instead of the support you think I want, but for a little while at least, I need you to give me the support you think I want.”
I am not a costumer anymore
Abortion.
Bruh. Like I said. I’m not choosing these feelings.
OP please update us with what happens. I've gotta know how your brother handles it.
Also I hope your idiot sister learns from all this.
I’ve met people in open relationships who were completely loving, respectful of boundaries, mutually supportive, and all around caring lovely people. That’s not what is happening here. Your husband’s friend (28f) was manipulative, selfish, and cruel. I am so glad her plan was unsuccessful, but I want to be clear that what she was doing was not part of being in an open relationship: it was being a bad friend and bad person. To deliberately and deceptively undermine a person’s confidence, and undermine their relationship, for one’s one selfish reasons is unacceptable, in a monogamous or polyamorous context.
I say all this as a happily monogamous person, like yourself, who fully supports your decision to be monogamous. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t think this reprehensible behavior was to be expected of other polyamorous people. No one, no matter how they view or prioritize their own relationships, should treat other people this way: especially people they call their friends.
Thanks for confirming that saying anything was a mistake
sounds like
Stop living your life based on assumptions and narratives in your head
Sounds to me like she doesn't want a serious relationship. Either means she wants to fuck or just wants to be friends.
Win win either way unless you have feelings and can't get over them
One possibility here: every guy has been friendzoned occasionally. Some guys are only ever friendzoned.
Part of being in the friend zone is seeing the girl you’re into date other guys and complain about them to you.
Maybe they just don’t want to do that to another guy after knowing how much it can hurt?
Dude, how could you possibly know that? Do you know how long she has been having an affair? Do you I know if he is the first or only affair partner?
don't know, maybe she was, that's why she is trying to hide it.
nowadays everything is okay, we've meet a lot after that, nothing suspicious occured since then
What is this nonsense business where stickers are an integral piece of things??
repost troll
Does he not believe people are entitled to alone time?
She must be getting something out of it. Like massive amounts of money and not really having to do anything
I feel like this is what I need to say, but also, part of me believes what she says to me. It makes it nude to make a definitive decision on what to do. And when we make up after one of these arguments things are really great and I forget all about the problems.
I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm rambling, just trying to parse out my thoughts.
It doesn't even matter whether he is grooming you (he is). He is married and trying to make you his side piece. You say no to that.
Personally, I wouldn't tell the wife unless you can prove it.
But either way, it's time to cut him off. There are lots ofnpeolle who can teach you piano.
You dont move on, you move to the police and write a report
Tell him you love him and his kids but he can budget for a maid . You are not his ex wife and time is limited.
He has something of a point about another person driving your car for two months. Contact your insurance company, they may want to change the policy based on her rating. If someone else drives your car for a day it's usually not a big deal, but for two solid months, they could deny coverage if she did get in an accident.
Get back in touch with him to help him with his hearing aids. He may not have spoken very nicely to you, but you've made your point, so don't bear a grudge or have a panic attack. Sometimes relatives get on each other's nerves, but that's no reason to become totally estranged from them.
That's disgusting. You're being too kind imao. I'd be a lot more direct.
Yikes on bikes.
Yeah I'm wondering what the salaries and the price of the house are in this scenario.
I would assume she is eating there a lot. I can’t say for sure but assuming his living situation is a lot more comfortable than a college students they probably go to his place close to 100% of the time. So she could be eating a good 30% of meals or so at his place depending on how often they hang out.
This is what it was like with my girlfriend in college. We spent a lot of time together, I lived in an apartment she was still in a dorm. I didn’t expect her to pitch in 50% for groceries, but especially if we were going to the store for something to make together she would offer to pay.
I see
OP, lots try a of good advice here. I am curious do you have any sense of what this guys wife might think? Also I why would your wife push this boundary by engaging in this game night nonsense. If she has any empathy after these discussions she would find a way to be busy those nights.
So, she can’t be held to her word; the answer is always what she wants, which is a no; and she can’t tell you what a yes would look like.
As others have said, shorten this living arrangement as fast as you can manage it.
Noooo!! She just grew out of love!! it's the guy whos at fault you can't blame her noooo!!
/S
He admitted he barely feels anything when he has sex with me, he just didn’t know how to bring it up because he didn’t want me to feel hurt.
Did he not enjoy any of that? He was able to cum every single time so I thought everything was okay.
TBH, if he came every single time, you're not too loose. Your boyfriend is lying.
I’ve been suffering from obesity all my life and thought that was it for me but I was able to lose weight during the pandemic (85kg to 50kg). I gained 15kg while being in this relationship (we both did). I am fairly confident I can lose weight, but what if it stays the same after that?
It's not your weight.
You've got two problems as far as I can determine:
Your self-esteem, or your lack of self-esteem. Your toxic boyfriend.
Ditch your boyfriend and get therapy. You'll start feel better pretty soon.