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Lol I get that. I’m just saying if someone cheats once it doesn’t make them an irreparable POS. I cheated in my early 20’s. Dumb shit to do, felt horrible and changed. I’m 40 now and haven’t done it since. Been with my wife for over ten years. People can change when they truly want to be better.
Consider it this way… why does your boyfriend want to have sex with an unwilling participant? He sounds kind of scary and manipulative.
No you really don’t trust her. Need to work on that
But your feelings are valid and she is NOT HELPING with her defensive behavior. Why does she not seem to want you there?
Sadly it can be very hard in this situation. The one thing you can do is be there in terms of a simple message, one that doesn't need her to reply but let's her know you're there for her
Over time this helped my friend start talking about how they felt