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I don’t know how to lay this out gently, but here it is.
He started the relationship, in some aspects, with dishonesty. It sounds like he was cheating on both you and his ex, and who knows how many other girls were in the picture at the time. He is not an honest man, he built your relationship on lies. It would be incredibly naive of you to think that it will exist as or end any differently.
You have already caught him texting other girls, and he accused you of cheating!! There is so much audacity and projection in that act. There is a reason your gut is telling you not to trust him. Follow it! He is not worth trusting. You might love him, but the actions he’s taken regarding loyalty (or in his case, the lack thereof) show that he does not love you. At a bare minimum, he does not respect you. He did not communicate “when he thought you were cheating” because he didnt think you were, it was a convenient lie in the moment. If by some miracle it isn’t, it shows he’s not mature enough to communicate about it first. These should be plenty of reasons alone to get out of the relationship, though I’m sure based on your post there are plenty more.
You have set the standard on what is acceptable by staying with him after finding out about his not-so-ex. The tone for this relationship is set. You cannot fix him, he does not care to be fixed, and if you ignore the fact that the single most important pillar of a relationship (trust) is not there, you are setting yourself up for a whole lot of heartache. You haven’t been together that long, don’t keep wasting your time on this guy.
Girl. I'm your Boyfriend kinda. I was in a toxic relationship. I miss the excitement but I'll never actually wanna in a painful relationship like that. I'll choose boredom over that any day.
Please talk to your bf. Communicate like adult.
Also he's just journaling. And in journal people truthfully. He shouldn't be held responsible for that. He didn't try to hurt you.
My ex read my journal like this and fought with me. It was so painful. He was abusive.