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Because he's your partner and should know what's going on in your life? Would you be fine with him being assaulted and not telling you cus you can't do anything about it? Of the answer is yes then you aren't ready for a serious life sharing relationship
It's really hard to say because only he really knows, but my guess (as a regular ghoster and watcher of terrible romcoms), would be that he had a moment to reflect on his vulnerability and realised that he couldn't face you leaving and didn't know how to tell you.
That doesn’t even help your case. You still exposed him to an std and you have no remorse for it.
24f and I can orgasm thru vaginal ?
He was cleaning his fist and it went off.
That’s a cool opinion and worth considering for sure but mines actually still really valid and you could’ve written your own comment with your own perspective. You don’t always have to try to correct or argue with someone when they don’t have your same mind set. I’ll just say again, I, and I’m not alone, wouldn’t want someone I did’t want to talk to 8 years ago to still be hung up on that and asking me why 8 years later. That’s very obviously not a stable person anyway to not have moved on for 8 years tbh. I’d feel stalked and I’m very much an adult too.
I once had a boat anchor tied to me like this guy did. A wife who was just along for the free ride, not wanting to put in the work.
Good on you buddy, whoever you are, I hope you find a real partner next time around.
Look, I know this may be downvoted to hell, but do not come down on her. You need to realize that doing so will only push her further into rebellion. Just tell her that you may not like it, but you aren't dumb either, and know she will do what she wants. But she needs to understand the importance of being safe. Every time. Period.
Are you joking? Maybe Elinor thought OP knew but Spencer? Her best friend who knew how tortured she was over the affair- no way. I think he knew she didn't know but was falling for Elinor and wanted things tied in a neat little bow. OP needs to leave the husband and find a new BFF
Therapy is…not gonna work here, sorry.
you would get the idea behind mentoring and raising a kid and watch him make something out of life if you werent such a shallow judgemental 304 but alas. so, stfu and keep your moronic opinions to yourself.
Thank you! I will add, ultimately the end goal is to let emotions and chemistry play out naturally over the period of us becoming friends again. Not sure if that changes any aspect of the flower gift 🙂
Tea tree shampoo is anti fungal – worth a try! But definitely need to completely blow dry before bed or putting hair up
No you can’t take an Uber after anesthesia. They will not do the surgery or insist you pay $$$ for a nurse to accompany you home.
I know, it was by chance that i caught 30 seconds of a conversation and it was hearing those words. There’s a very small chance that the only time he has ever said this behind my back and fate let’s me hear it! Odds are that this happens all the time.
?????????????????????????????? a good laugh for the night
What are you talking about? She should tell him AND leave him. Because it’s the right thing to do. She I well aware how fucked up she is so she should take ALL the responsibility and leave to protect him. Don’t give him the chance in a weak moment of grief or confusion to choose to stay with her.
Other than snapping, how you talked about this like you two love and care for eachother?
NO. She is your EX. Both of you need to face that and move on.
Should be safe
She isn’t on drugs anymore, she stopped before I’d even got in a relationship with her
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He’s an idiot (at least financially). $2k a month is $24k a year, which is literally less than he’d make working full-time at McDonald’s. I personally wouldn’t date a grown man who can’t figure that out, although to be fair I wouldn’t date a grown man at all, because I’m not gay
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I personally wouldn't worry about the neighbors. They tried. You said no. Unless they bring it up again, I'd be cool with them.
The husband is the issue. It's like I get where he's coming from, but he also should trust you to take what happened exactly as you explained it.
Give him a day or two and sit him down. Just have an open conversation explaining again it was out of the blue. If he still doesn't believe you, then you two may have bigger issues than you thought.
She needs to pay for a friend first in the form of talk therapy , maybe even see a doctor to get on some medication. It will be hard to make friends without her investing in getting help first if possible. Later, I found it easier to meet new people by volunteering. I volunteer w / animals & it’s easier to talk & get to know ppl when you’re all doing something you like.
This is why we don’t get married at 22 folks
Yeah, she does. My birthday a couple years back, she planned a staycation and activities for us to do. We split costs on that. She also treats me to dinner. We have this thing where the b-day person gets to choose whatever restaurant they want, so we've been doing that for years. IDK. I may have been going crazy when I made this quote (to my suspicion lol), and after reading some comments here, feel I've found more clarity than what I initially had. TY for commenting and not being rude to me, really appreciate it 🙂
This just sounds like it sucks how could you stay in that environment or stand her for another week even
This is how I felt about my current boyfriend. But over time I saw how exciting and passionate he was- it just wasn’t what expected. Because it was healthy.
Even saw some going down the comment section.
It’s unfortunate because instead of making this opportunity in the relationship to talk about each other’s struggles, help each other, and work towards healing; here come this archaic notion to demonize the other.
Like you said, depression and being open about personal struggles is so difficult for men to do even in relationships because they believe it emasculates them in any way. Have heard my fair share of men that when they open up about grief or depression THEY get shut down/treated as cold as OP is rn…. It’s terrible all ways around
Even saw some going down the comment section.
It’s unfortunate because instead of making this opportunity in the relationship to talk about each other’s struggles, help each other, and work towards healing; here come this archaic notion to demonize the other.
Like you said, depression and being open about personal struggles is so difficult for men to do even in relationships because they believe it emasculates them in any way. Have heard my fair share of men that when they open up about grief or depression THEY get shut down/treated as cold as OP is rn…. It’s terrible all ways around
Restraining order immediately
True, but the issue here isn't what the ex wants, it's what the gf wants. I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship with a woman that wants to be with her ex but can't because he's not single, I'm still second choice in that scenario.
You are a hard mess.
This would worry me in my engagement, this is not a minor incompatibility if it can’t get figured out.
Bless your heart.
Do you have some folks who can be with you while you’re in crisis? This isn’t normal.
There you go lying again. You made the following comparisons:
you never had to fake orgasms with ex, but did with bf; ex could consistently make you orgasm with intercourse, while bf has problems making that happen; bf is “so damn insecure,” with the implication that ex is not (gee, why ever would that be, considering the prior two bullet points?)
So much for radical honesty.
There you go lying again. You made the following comparisons:
you never had to fake orgasms with ex, but did with bf; ex could consistently make you orgasm with intercourse, while bf has problems making that happen; bf is “so damn insecure,” with the implication that ex is not (gee, why ever would that be, considering the prior two bullet points?)
So much for radical honesty.
The thing is, abusive people are not hideous monsters. They are charming. Charismatic. They KNOW how to charm. That’s how they get people. They know nobody would stay with someone who yelled and insulted from sunup to sundown.
You need to stop being blinded by the good things. Everyone has good things.
You can find someone with good things who also treats you like a capable adult.
So he raped your sister
You know what you are to blame for? Allow this to continue. Showing him that he can do whatever he likes and he has no consequences.
You are also to blame for making excuses as to why its ok for him to continue the behavior.
The only person to blame for this guy taking advantage of you, is you.
You don’t need a man child in your life. It’s way paste time to kick him to the curb.
I am old enough to be your grandfather and if you were my granddaughter, this is what I would tell her. Take care of yourself.
He's lying to you. And then gaslighting you about it.
This will be a lifetime of pain for you if you don’t end this now. Please don’t waste the rest of your 20s, they are precious years.
Just go NC or LC with your sister. I presume you have gone NC with your ex and have blocked him everywhere possible. You can't control your sister if she does not see the damage by her remaining friends with your ex, does to your relationship with her.
Don't allow your ex to further poison your relationship with your sister as he apparently is trying to do. He will keep trying to maintain a relationship with your sister to hurt you indirectly like he is doing now.
Just move on and heal from the toxic relationship you had with him.
Their friends are right and you are too old. You’re 28 and living the life of a 35 yo. That being said, you also sound like a tame and overly sensitive dude and you probably wouldn’t be able to hold the attention of a girl like that anyway. Time to cut your losses, friend.
This guy is trash
IMHO – the rule was silly and longer term You might want to examine why you would draw a line at Strip Clubs, which strike me as fairly harmless but his lies are so bad they border on gaslighting. If he had said something like ‘my friends bachelor party included a strip club, I want to go, but won’t get a private dance or anything’ I would have urged you to say ‘fine’.
Even if he had said ‘some coworkers really wanted to go and I got caught up in the moment, I’m sorry. I doubt the exact set of circumstances will happen again and I regret breaking a promise’ after the fact I would urge you to let it go.
But he is treating you like an idiot. Dump him.
So statistically speaking, your wife should be worried about you cheating.
It’s not blackmail, she obviously cheated and you’re going to be in the hard spot between her actions and your loyalty to your father who deserves the truth
Honestly, I was not doing well about 24 hours ago when she disappeared, but I've leveled out since then. But thank you for your concern.
wow i want to say this was a very insightful comment
we’ve been together a year and a half but have been talking for nearly three years ( I was very indecisive about settling down, recurring theme) and I do feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with her as of right now but i also don’t want to strip myself of saving up for our future.
unfortunately moving in with me isn’t much of an option as we on-line in an apartment and it’s cramped + they’re strict about overnight guests
If you're in a relationship and something that lucrative comes along you make sacrifices I'm guessing she has a job that doesn't pay shit as well as taking care of the kid. If he has a chance to make more than enough to benefit all of them then she should go along with it and find a way to on-line with it
He's gonna keep cheating on you if you keep dating him.
You aren't his priority. Be your own priority. Go back home, as you've done your best to communicate your needs, and he's blatantly ignoring them. You didn't sign up for this
Talk to him first. Then do what you need to do.
It seems that they’re projecting because their decision to forgive them both and your sister to allow herself to betray her sister got them involved with an abuser. They can’t blame your sister, sister is too much of coward, so who do they have.. you.
It isn’t your fault and putting yourself through their verbal assault isn’t worth it. Support from a distance and take up for yourself.
My answer is I don’t think 1 month in is too soon to bring this up because it’s obviously important to you and there’s no sense waiting until 6 months in to bring it up. It’s a dealbreaker. Bringing it up on the 1st date even wouldn’t be wrong.
I just also think you need to have a separate conversation with her about whether or not you’re exclusive. The fact that you’re not sure and haven’t brought it up gives me vibes that you’re unsure about her. That’s why I think you need to do some soul searching, decide if a serious relationship with her is something you want and go from there.
she is going to group therapy soon, she’s on state insurance and she’s currently interning out of state so she has to wait a bit until she’s back, she was on constant therapy beforehand too, she is genuinely trying to get better and she has gotten better, group helps her a lot so i’m thinking that would help her ease her worries but she isn’t sure
I agree completely. This sub seems to be a troll favourite though. The real ones mostly have lots of posts from the OP. The less OP interaction on the thread the more likely it’s a troll.
Playing pool and listening to comedy?? I know some sensitive men are anti science jobs because ot hurts their tiny egos but comedy? That's some serious mental gymnastics for me to figure out how this upsets anyone. how how how does that make you masculine??
Your partner is a sexist pig. Why are you with him? I lift weights and was helping my partner and his dad move a load of paving slaps in the garden the other day. My partner's dad was remarking on how strong I was and my partner is literally proud of having a strong girlfriend who enjoys hoofing around all the heavy stuff with them. Find someone to lift you up not put you down.
Grosser than grown adults acting like kids? Lmao.
Let me tell you something about people and weddings… You can tell them not to being gifts but they will anyway..
How about a little card inside your invite envelope with a request that in lieu of gifts you would appreciate a donation to insert charity
It’s hard to give advice because your relationship sounds informal. Are you boyfriend/girlfriend? FWBs? What’s your overall goal here?
The issue is that your feelings about this come across as controlling. You’re insecure, so by default you wanting him to assuage your insecurities comes across as controlling because you want a certain outcome in his actions due to your emotions. I’m assuming he hasn’t cheated on you or done anything to give you concerns, so from his perspective it feels like he’s being punished for your feelings.
That’s one of the many reasons that trust issues can push people away.