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Don't react. don't answer. Just archive his messages (in case you need it for a restraining order) and let him text into the void. It doesn'T matter what he wants ot what he threatens to do to himself. Live your life. and stay away from him.
I think you should focus first on building trust in the relationship before you even consider doing it.
Yes his behavior is a red flag, and it’s probably partly why your daughter is struggling. Think about it, your daughter struggles with her emotions, and so does your SO. Kids learn from those around them. Just curious how did your daughter speak back that triggered him so bad?
Do you know how serious he was about this? Like did he have the passing thought of killing it? Or did he admit to spending a literal hour on the details of killing this cat? Not saying he was right to say it, but this is not his cat or child, it's disrupting his peace and causing contention with you as well. You may want to ask him how serious he was about that. If he was just saying it in frustration that's one thing. Dedicating time to fantasizing about killing it is a whole other thing
You are so wrong. Cheaters cheat because they are self-absorbed. They don't care about anyone but themselves and their needs. My dad was a serial cheater and my mom was a damn good woman. My mom gave him sex whenever he wanted and he still cheated.
You must be OP's husband trying to get people to change their votes.
You are probably a cheater too
How did she respond when you asked her to cut back?
You talked to her for a few hours it isn't that deep. I'd just forget it and move on.
Maybe the two of you need to just be a little more explorative? You should crosspost this to r/BDSMAdvice too.
Your whole thought process is wack as fuck. This is love bombing a manipulation tactic how come you can't see that?
Hate to drop this to you, but your husband is not bi, he’s gay.
Apparently his love for you is becoming more platonic and less sexual every day.
Almost got the amount right 😀
secretly texting an Ex, calling each other honey, & making secret plans to be together, combined with him downloading an internet dating app. yeah he is a cheater, and cheaters cheat, they always will, the Gal has Nothing to do with him being a cheater, if he wasn't a cheater, he wouldn't have the dating app and would have told his Ex Go away at any contact.
so, try not to place blame on her for his decision to cheat (it is easy to though esp if it was with her) I think it's safe to presume he has cheated on you & that he will again when given the chance from someone. (Use condoms to protect yourself from STD's and pregnancy). at the least, he is not interested in you being the long-term partner he marries & spends the rest of his life with regardless of what you want or what he might tell you, his actions are clear. that's not what he wants & he is willing to cheat on you. protect yourself and your money starting Now. he is probably Only with you for what you give him for free without him having to lift a finger: the free phones & monthly phone plan, reduced rent cost, free & easy to get sex, free food probably also cooked for him. it seems that you are nothing special to him & he would be just as content with any random woman that would provide that stuff for him for free and easy. so you need to understand, he has already checked out of the relationship, he is using you and is with you for the free perks he gets, & all he has to do is Not tell you to your face that it's over and he keeps getting those perks. you can put an end to it now, or be a bit smarter move would be to set yourself up so that within a few months you're in a better situation to live without him in your life. i do have a question though, you say that you cannot afford rent by yourself, so clearly, he is paying for part of the rent (hopefully 1/2 of it or more), why then are you paying for his phone and for his phone plan or anything of his for that matter, if he has a job and can afford rent, he can & should be paying for his own phone and phone plan/bills. why are you paying for it for him? Stop paying for his stuff, he needs to pay for his own phones and for his part of the monthly phone bill if you share a plan.
I'm not sure where you live!, but if a studio appt cost $1,800 a month I'm guessing its a city or somewhere the income is pretty good.
I'm guessing you make good money because of this and your other posts that you have a golden retriever pup & a '22 vehicle you're looking to upgrade to a '24. and even though you have had other long-term relationships, they would have been when/before you were 18, so how much do they really count towards healthy adult relationships (not much). you need to figure out a way to afford rent & and all your expenses on your own without monetary help from anyone. either in a small space by yourself, or maybe sharing an appt with a friend. or renting a room from a friend or finding other ways to cut back your spending habits. your 21 don't waste your time with a guy that is willing to cheat on you & doesn't want to be exclusive with only you and with the potential of long-term happiness and marriage as the hopeful goal. in short, you need to start saving as much money as you can, in a safe location where he does Not know about it and cannot access it if he tried. (a separate bank acct he doesn't know about would be best).
make him start paying for his own stuff and make sure he is paying for at least 1/2 on the rent and utility bills.
i have so many questions for you that would create a better/ complete picture of your current financial situation (your current income and expense budget), your savings (if any) & your support system (nearby friends, family, or possibly even a co-worker that are there for you when you need someone's help the most).
Uh, you don't have to discuss taking someone else to “mask” something if there isn't something to mask. He's clearly into her and I'd just toss him to the curb.
you have trauma and insecurity issues and of all people available you pick one that would exploit them against you, and somehow seems to loathe you as well. tough call on what to do.
Her idea of getting through it and “compromising” is him caving and giving her what she wants.
You’re too old for this nonsense.
Exactly! Like, you’ve decided to settle with a person, you’ve produced offspring, you own a home together, your lives are merged. JUST GET MARRIED WITH A PRENUP!!!
You called it dude. It’s the honeymoon stage. Those feelings are normal in the first few months but they are not normal through the entire relationship.
Borderline
Ty for that perspective ??
She literally messaged this girl off your phone…. She saw you hadn’t messaged her, and still decided to do this.
I'm more fussy about laundry, my Mr. Isn't, we send his stuff out, I do my own, the way I like. Perhaps this could be an option?
Sooo say no?
My thoughts exactly