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Birth Date: 1987-12-20
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I've been down that road before, and it's so not worth it
I understand. Thank you for everything you've texted
The older you get the more you realize that trust is super important. At the end of the day you can't control what your partner does so you just have to trust them and if you can't have that with someone then they probably aren't for you.
Yeh trust is important. I just know that if she were in my shoes she would be slightly more peeved than I am. Thanks for being so understanding and cool abt it
If it bothers you, that’s enough. It doesn’t really matter if other people think it’s a red flag. Some people follow half very hot people on social media, and their partners don’t mind. And some people aren’t comfortable with it. Both are ok. Just decide what you can and cannot accept, and move on from the things you can’t.
Good luck. Stay safe. Love yourself.
Stage 5 clinger. Run and don’t look back.
Capable yes, bit in general most men will be and are sexually attracted to the majority of their female friends.
If you can acknowledge that as fact, perhaps it'll help you understand the fiances insecurities.
After how long of being a cheater? You cheated on her. You owe it to her to come clean before she finds out from one of your side piece's friends.
I have all the photos and videos of their chat, that one was one that stuck out
Thank you bro i really appreciate it I was tired of hearing that and feeling like it was not valid to feel that
Cheating
Man, so sorry. This is like the biggest slap in the face possible. She used and abused you.
I don’t see how this relationship comes back from this. She totally disregarded you as a person for 2.5 years. She never felt guilty on her own, only when you reached YOUR breaking point did she admit to it. She would have gone on for 5 more years if she could have.
Honestly I’m on his side that asking for a love letter takes a lot of the sentiment out of it. Even if words of affirmation is your love language. I think it sucks he got defensive and dismissive, but I also would never ask my bf to write a love letter for me if I knew it wasn’t his best way of expressing love. Now if he’s not expressing love in any other ways, you’ve got a problem.
How did you meet?
I will tell you plainly as someone a few years younger than him, well-adjusted men that age do not date barely-legal teenagers. Period. It doesn't matter if he was specifically seeking you out, a man with healthy mental and emotional development would have politely declined to see you once he found out that you were just out of high school. It is very hot for you to understand that now because you don't have the two decades of adult life experience he has, but please understand that this is not normal however you slice it.
His mom is probably wrestling with disappointment in her son's choices and anxiety about whatever you did involving his child. She can't control his decisions, but she is clearly not happy about them, and for good reason. If a friend of mine was dating a teenager I would stop hanging out with them, but this is her child so that's not really an option.
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Looking back I should’ve ran when I found the snapped in half computer keyboard in the drawer but I had something to prove I guess
I work in a warehouse so it’s a part time job, it’s nothing major it’s just one of those things I dedicate my day to and I feel very tired from it afterward. I work 9 hours 4 days a week, so again nothing super crazy.
I think it’s not really my job specifically, because I’ve felt like this since I started high school. It’s just how my brain handles stress and what not, might be part of my OCD. Anyway, point being, it doesn’t have to be work necessarily, it’s just if I do one major thing on a day such as work or school I just feel mentally exhausted and want to relax afterward. You’re right though, I do need to work on my ability to balance things.
I also think you’re right in saying I should just tell her and make it up to her, that’s fair for both. I don’t know, I guess part of me just feels weird playing video games around her because I don’t want her to sit there and be bored or even annoyed. Honestly I’m probably overthinking it, what helps is that she is definitely extremely accepting and understanding.
Updateme!
And also, OP, what are you teaching your children if you model this dynamic for them ?
They will either become her or choose someone like her because that’s what you’ve given them as a normal template. But it’s not normal, and it’s not ok.
Couple’s counseling isn’t typically recommended for abusive situations, so I would suggest asking your own counselor if they think that it would be helpful.
I agree with you that this cannot be sustained. You deserve to be your own person, with friends, family and hobbies, and your wife deserves that for herself too. It’s nude with kids, but it can be done, if you work together instead of against each other.
Yes. Write it out. Spend a few days working on writing down each concern. Separate in to categories, put in thoughts and questions. Make sure it isn't accusational. Don't nitpick, but stick to the deep issues. Make sure the letter starts with your hopes and plans, ends with how you want to move forward. Make it a plan or a survey where needed, not a rant.
Then, wait a day, read it and revise. Make sure it has love, and as little frustration as possible. Make it more “I want more of you in this way” and less of “why are you always doing this annoying thing?” When you have your best draft, print it out, and tell her she has been on your mind for a while and you wrote this for her. Let her have the letter and leave. Do not ask her to read it. Do not wait. Hand deliver to her at her place, then go back to yours.
Then wait. If she hasn't responded to it in three days, casually ask if she wants to talk about the letter.
I wouldn’t do anything. If there marriage blows up over this there might be resentment towards you. There is no way you will gain anything from this. Let the FIL find out on his own.
Right? “We weren't seeing other people. Except me, I was seeing Lauren. Who then became my girlfriend. I honesty don't know why Kelsey dislikes her hmmmm….”
I hate to say it, but I'd completely break up, at least until she gets her mental health stable. She's going through a lot without y'all's relationship, and it's hurting you in the process, so it's best for both of you to break up.
I have regular depression, and I've disappeared on people and felt unsure of relationships. But that's why I don't date. It hurts to get disappeared on, and I'd hate to do that to a partner.
I get the feeling she doesn't know what she wants. If she wanted to break up, she wouldn't have come back a couple days later sexting you and telling you she loves you. If she wanted to stay, she wouldn't have broken up with you. Even if she is just unsure, breaking up is final. You don't make final decisions because you're unsure. Instead you just don't take things further until you figure out what you want. Like if you were unsure about staying in college, you wouldn't immediately drop out. You'd just hold off on registering for next semester's classes or take a gap year to figure things out. Breaking up is like dropping out: it's saying that, permanently or at least for the next few years, you aren't associated with the person/college.
In the meantime, if you want to stay in touch with her, KEEP THINGS PLATONIC. Flirting, talking about love, or getting sexual is only gonna lead to one of you catching feelings, her feeling unsure, you getting hurt, and y'all being right back at square 1. You loving her so much is only gonna make that hurt worse.
TL;DR It's best for both of you to break up and keep things platonic at most. Until she gets her mental health sorted out, she'll only get unsure again and hurt you again.
That's not the problem here. She wronged him by lying to him about wanting more kids with him so she could use him for what he provides for her – a home for her other kids. And when they did get pregnant like they agreed on she terminated it, not once, but twice!
I am pro choice and I will die in the hill to protect women’s rights to abort for any reason.
But this? This is so ugly. I can’t even wrap my head around how cruel that is. If she didn’t want more kids she shouldn’t have wasted your time and lied to you about anything, let alone something that was so important to you. You have every right to mourn them the same way you would a miscarriage. And you need to leave her.
It's not ideal, but it's possible. That's what they were trying to say.
Fucking brutal. There is no “solving” or “fixing” this. I'm sorry this happened to you OP.
Exactly, split now while you both are still young. What she did was NOT ok, she should have communicated her feelings to you long before this. But you can’t force romantic or sexual feelings
Ok what does that mean here? I’ve tried to post this but keep getting rejected bc of the content. Any advice on that?
Whatever the answer is, it isn't emotional abuse. Just file for divorce already.
I can know that learning to love yourself and your body, even with flaws, is healthier than trying to change a part of your body due to insecurity.
It isn't, it's called settling for being mediocre, average, uninspiring. If you can improve something about yourself, a normal masculine man is gonna do it.
And I can know that there are people who will love and accept you and your penis no matter what size shape color or texture it is or isn't. So yes it's fine.
True, but not all of them will. I don't wanna risk stumbling upon someone who doesn't.
And I do know that any legit and healthy penis enlargement technique, if it actually worked, would be like international news dude. Men make such a huge deal about penis size!
Any form of penis enlargement, especially surgical one, involves risks. However, I've minimized them by conducting my own research and being extremely careful with it.
Don't let yourself get scammed.
I won't. I'm already getting positive results.
This is a him problem not a you problem. You shouldn't be wasting any more energy on thinking about him.
So then you didn't really pay for the trip.
Remember that every ending is just a beginning. People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean the love once shared wasn't true and real, it simply means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart…
What about the 100 people commenting to say leave him or asking why are you still with him ?♂️
Just dump her now to save yourself a lot of stress. When I found out the ex wife was cheating I was obsessed with getting info. Go to surviving infidelity.com it helped me with a cheating wife
International Women's Day is not a Hallmark gift occasion, it's a global celebration of women's achievements and call for action toward gender parity. Your girlfriend needs an attitude adjustment away from her gimme gimme gimme stance. I hope for your sake that she has positive attributes that outweigh the very hot temper and sense of entitlement. The gracious response to a box of croissants would have been, “Thank you very much.” Period.
yeah she told me tonight that she thinks living together won’t workout because she’s moving to the state he lives in now… she told me to consider other options ..
Like i said its not a first or second date thing but it should be brought up, not all people who want to be childfree are loud and obnoxious about it. Thats a “leap” there
Thanks for that unsolicited advice to us single parents, but ✨ no ✨ tell me you don’t have a kid without telling me
Get your stuff. That’s what you do. Tell her it’s unacceptable to come into your home and touch your stuff. She is a guest. Not the home owner. Not the person on the lease, etc.
Bump
Whether you are insecure or not is not the point. He has chosen his friend over you. I would not stay. There is no space for you regardless of the situation, and I have read many posts on Reddit about people sleeping with their best friends. So let him be and have her.
Go to surviving infidelity.com. It helped me with a cheating wife. It has great ideas to detect cheating
I get the sense that she was drunk and went a long with it at first but it turned into something she didn’t want. It’s impossible to be sure though from what is said. She could have been pressured the whole time and dealt unable to say no safely.
For what? Her rape kit to sit in a room untouched for years in end like many many many others? As someone who has been raped, please don't try to tell rape victims what they “need” to do. We all respond to traumatic things differently, and – especially if they're in America – we all know that even if she were to try to do something about it, the chances of her getting justice are very slim.
You may be right
She's a shitty person and you aren't much better. Both selfish. She'll cheat on you too. Not that you care because cheating is ok, right?
Not to scare you, but this is just not funny- it is dangerous.
Again, not to scare you, but what she did and what resulted could mean permanent damage.
This is like something a five year old would think to do….
Between that and the age gap which is not in your favor, I would sue her for medical bills.
Well, if were talking technicalities…then, yeah, I guess. Sort of.
Kudos for you feeling healthy enough to talk about your life with others. Your fiance is being a dweeb. Allowing strangers to know more personal information allows them to become less than a stranger to you so you should dilute your stories with things like “this one girls father” not “my father.” Unless you wanted to know him long term which it was way too soon to bring up that conversation with a potential friend anyways.
My SO has horror stories from her life and as long as it's a nice conversation she's able to have I'm happy for her. If she's getting blasted at a bar to get it all out then I'd try to help her along to therapy, not alcohol. What you did sounded collegiately appropriate. Your BF doesn't own your trauma and holy crap I just realized he's your fiance at 18 and you haven't worked this stuff out already that he doesn't get ownership over your experience but the privilege to know you.
My boyfriend told me he’d fallen in love with me after 5 weeks, I told him I felt the same after 2 months. We’ve been together for almost 3 years now. It’s whatever YOU are comfortable with. If it’s too fast for you, and he doesn’t respect that, then you know what to do.
big if true
The only reason we date people is to determine if they meet enough of our needs to make a decent longterm partner. So if you're already dissatisfied at this point, before you're even living together or planning a future together, it's not likely to get any better. Sometimes having the strength to pull the plug is more admirable than just staying in a situation you're not happy with.
You're biggest mistake was saying yes to marriage. You aren't compatible and this relationship will not last.