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I have been on TikTok for 2 years and not once come across a video encouraging open relationships. Clearly you did something wrong ?
I do these things with a full-time job and a busy social life. What do you do when you're not cleaning and running errands? If he works a 9-5 that means you have 40 hours free every week; there's no way you're doing household maintenance for all of them, so what else do you do?
I suspect you have mostly American audiences here, and this sort of family culture will be beyond many of our experiences.
That said, I would never have asked in the first place, and I'd never date a woman who gave her salary to her family, unless it was temporary to help with an illness or something.
Have you considered peri menopause as part of the issue? She needs to see her GYN. And, marriage counseling.
Bullshit story
You gotta seriously be crazy or only be watching out for your pocket book, to say they believe that he hasn’t.
I’m curious for that reasoning too.
Obviously he was shitty at it, I just wonder how he could say he didn’t. That’s wild that he thought that was believable. I don’t know how you could trust someone who lies like that, and you 100% shouldn’t.
The only end here is divorce, not because he downloaded or used the apps, but because he can’t even tell the truth when he’s caught. He’s not able to be accountable as a human.
Well this open relationship has certainly done a really good job improving your situation because now you don't have one.
Your wife has confessed to an affair , your wife has confessed that she had raw sex multiple times and then gets you to essentially take the load.
If that doesn't end a relationship I have no idea what would
Yeah right? In her answers OP seems pretty confident that actually nothing questionable happened ?
Smart idea. Sell it for a discount, pocket the proceeds.
Get him to a therapist
Today you looked into your husbands soul and found it lacking, there are great things ahead for you.
Diabetes or any other health condition does not excuse anyone from being an AH. If she can control her behavior after coffee, she can control it before. Low blood sugar does not make you lose that behavioral control.
I like this!! Thank you! Yeah, I guess adding pressure to actual intimacy can only hurt. Thank/ again!
I came to the realization where i have to just cut him loose or deal with this. He hasnt read or responded to my message all day. He takes me expressing my feelings as if im arguing…im not. I just want him to hear me. But he gets overwhelmed at every serious discussion
No one in my house uses top sheets, however, every bed has a mattress protector on it, because humans sweat and leave skin flakes behind (an 8 year old mattress is pounds heavier because of the sweat and skin in it). My teenagers think it's gross to not have a mattress protector.
Dump her and go on the trip.
If he were just a friend I’d say let it go. He’s the person that you are intimate with. To know that he doesn’t respect your ownership of your own body is a deal breaker to me. What if you are assaulted? What if you have an unwanted pregnancy? What if you have a wanted pregnancy that is incompatible with life and requires medical intervention? I would not want to be in that situation with him. He’s shown you who he is. Believe him. For me personally I would struggle to be with him for believing that legislation is a good thing. The mess that has been created by people who lack knowledge of human biology and have an ingrained disdain for women trying to pass laws controlling women’s bodies is a nightmare.
Why would you even want to build a life with someone who (barring allergies, previous trauma, etc.) does not like dogs? I don’t understand / can’t relate.
I do not understand this current fascination with buttholes. To me, that's a one-way street. Don't feel pressured to give up your pooper.
I know how exhausting being a mom can be, especially to a special needs kiddo, and how moms need time to themselves at the end of the day. Is it possible you could work towards changing your evening routine to be more in line with your husbands? That way you go to bed together.
Do you have any friends in the area you could leave them with or stay with for a night or two? That way, you don't have to rush away. At least try to let some friends know when you plan to talk to him so they can check on you. Make sure you're doing ok and all that.
If you don't have anyone to leave things with, try and make sure you're carrying what you need (ID, money, passport, phone, etc).
Good luck. I know it really sucks, but if you know your goals aren't compatible, it's probably for the best. I was in a similar situation at your age. 4 year relationship, and we had really different goals. It was very hot, but now I'm happy with someone who wants what I do.
You got this!
I brought my girlfriend flowers at her workplace once when we were getting serious. One of her friends told her don’t get used to it, they stop being generous soon enough. 33 years later, I bought her a strand of pearls from Tiffany’s, with champagne at the store when we picked them up. We don’t go crazy. One has to be smart with money. But you make money so you can do nice things for one another.
He would tell me he loved me, he wanted me to have his kids. That he wanted to married me and he knew the first time he laid his eyes on me. Was all that not true?
Of course it's not true. That kind of shit isn't real. He was telling you the things you wanted to hear. He got close to you, treatment you nicely then after a while showed you who he is. An overly jealous thief that's capable of violence against you because you had the audacity to want your property back.
Why would you even give a shit if someone like that actually cared about you? Which he didn't. He's most likely incapable of doing so.
Sorry this is his true self which more often then not comes out when someone gets pregnant or married. He’s an abuser and you are becoming a victim of domestic abuse. It won’t get better and he will promise to change but if you can do one thing for your future kid, get out so they can not grow up being hit or seeing you abused and be damaged permanently.
She seems to have said a lot of things and not backed any of them up by actions. You love the girl who you think she is not the one who is actually is.
Thanks for the comment appreciate it
Girl, I've been you for the last decade or so, and I'm telling you, he ain't dead. I would just about bet my life that is simply more emotional abuse. I'm moving out next week. Gtfo before it destroys you. I became an alcoholic to try to cope, and I will literally die from it. Don't be me.
This is what marriage counselors are for.
There's nothing wrong with enlisting a professional to help moderate and help you meet each other in the middle
I know enough from my current relationship that financial shit is something that affects the both of us and thus gets talked about first out of respect for the both of us.
“It’s been good but we are now done and I wish you all the best on your extended vacation. Do not contact me again until you are back and then only to collect your belongings.”
Y’all are 18. This dram is too much.
I just want to draw attention to the fact that you are certain she would immediately deny it and gaslight you. I think this relationship has been over for a very hot second. I’m sorry about this
I agree with most of the other commenters, it seems highly suspicious given all the signs but before imploding your marriage, at the very least ask about the lingerie. Odds are admittedly slim but if by chance she’s planning a boudoir photo shoot to surprise you, I’m sure she would be horrified to know that you’re thinking she’s going to cheat and would be more than willing to explain it with proof. You didn’t mention how long the trip is for but in your wife’s favor, I probably wouldn’t bring 6 whole different outfits for an AP, but I likely would for a sexy photo shoot for my husband
Try to forget about it.
No, but the lie occurred during it's building and residency in the home.
And in this case it's not the action itself that is wrong. It's the lie of omission.
Not only burn the letter, but tell the bil that if he ever brings you a message again you’ll have no problem cutting him out as well.
Please don't stay with someone just because you're afraid to rejoin the dating world, that's not fair on her.
Have you ever asked him about this?