Where tf are the mods? There’s literally someone on here trying to convince OP to have an abortion and saying her child is going to grow up to be a criminal.
The only way to “test” someone's feelings for you is to lay everything on the table and hear their side/feelings in response.
All other ways are invalid. People can't read minds, she has no idea what you wanted from her when you told her that you liked someone else…
All she heard from you was, “I like someone else, I don't like you, I will not pursue you further”. What would she get by trying to get you to pick her? You literally told her that you're not picking her…
i'm wondering if it is possible that she truly did like me and have feelings and i went about it the wrong way?
#1, definitely the wrong way
#2, BEFORE playing games, you ask, “Do you like/have feelings for me?”
If you would want to try to “recover” this, you have a one on one convo were you tell her exactly what was going through your head and apologize for the BS you tried pulling and you tell her you actually like her, it's up too her then if she'd #1 want to forgive you, and then #2 if she'd want to date you.
Exactly, as you said, there are infinite different situations and we don't know the full story here. But judging by the response from her boyfriend, it doesn't seem like the perfect situation that you described.
I always try to be very skeptical of these kind of posts. Avoiding necessary details and not telling the full story makes it seem like it was posted for validation instead of asking for actual help.
They are seeing a different guy to what you are seeing, because you have those rose coloured spectacles on, that blind you to all the red flags he’s waving! ( I’m guessing his cheapness is not his only flaw?)
I understand that me dropping out would affect her a lot but I would not be doing nothing just mindlessly going through life, At the very least id have a job while Im thinking about what I want to do (I have a job rn that pays relatively well for where I live!). She is just pissed bc she would be making X amount of money which would be a lot higher than what I would be which I think is unfair to hold against me like that.
idk I also think its unhealthy to threaten to break up with me everytime we fight and I want to get that across. If I had a job and was contributing, admittedly not nearly as much as her, and was doing quite literally everything else household wise just like im doing now, why is it fair to say im not doing my fair share? I dont know what I wanna do in general in life but that doesnt mean im not going to look while im doing other things like this and I dont think its fair of her to break up with me bc I have no clue what I want to be
The fact he's not standing up to them, or for you and your relationship, makes me think that his family are used to pushing him around and he's quite likely to listen to them. You need to have it out with him.
I think your partner needs therapy and not scolding
Her being envious or feeling down is normal. It’s the kind of support she craves from her family who is clearly not kind to her
Where tf are the mods? There’s literally someone on here trying to convince OP to have an abortion and saying her child is going to grow up to be a criminal.
maybe she didn't even see you bruh ?
The only way to “test” someone's feelings for you is to lay everything on the table and hear their side/feelings in response.
All other ways are invalid. People can't read minds, she has no idea what you wanted from her when you told her that you liked someone else…
All she heard from you was, “I like someone else, I don't like you, I will not pursue you further”. What would she get by trying to get you to pick her? You literally told her that you're not picking her…
i'm wondering if it is possible that she truly did like me and have feelings and i went about it the wrong way?
#1, definitely the wrong way
#2, BEFORE playing games, you ask, “Do you like/have feelings for me?”
If you would want to try to “recover” this, you have a one on one convo were you tell her exactly what was going through your head and apologize for the BS you tried pulling and you tell her you actually like her, it's up too her then if she'd #1 want to forgive you, and then #2 if she'd want to date you.
Those boots were made for walking
He's not interested in changing his arrangement with his mother, or you covering expenses for him.
If he was, he'd have made some adjustments by now.
I think you need to decide if this is how you want to live!, going forward, or not.
Exactly, as you said, there are infinite different situations and we don't know the full story here. But judging by the response from her boyfriend, it doesn't seem like the perfect situation that you described.
I always try to be very skeptical of these kind of posts. Avoiding necessary details and not telling the full story makes it seem like it was posted for validation instead of asking for actual help.
They are seeing a different guy to what you are seeing, because you have those rose coloured spectacles on, that blind you to all the red flags he’s waving! ( I’m guessing his cheapness is not his only flaw?)
That's very insightful. I'll text her to check out the post! Thank you for your time!
You made it right with the bj.
I’m autistic. The autistic community accepts self dx. Please don’t gatekeep a community you’re not a part of.
And r/infidelity
I feel like this post was less about getting advice and more about getting your feelings down on paper. And that’s ok.
I think you have hit this from every angle possible. I don’t think any commenter is going to find a magic bullet.
You really can't win, and I don't know why some women do this.
You disagree
“Oh, you're just saying that.” or “Well, of course you're gonna say that – you're my boyfriend!”
You disagree.
“OMG, that was so hurtful.”
“Ouch. You didn't have to go along with me.”
It literally is a no win situation, and I can't think of a man that plays this game.
I understand that me dropping out would affect her a lot but I would not be doing nothing just mindlessly going through life, At the very least id have a job while Im thinking about what I want to do (I have a job rn that pays relatively well for where I live!). She is just pissed bc she would be making X amount of money which would be a lot higher than what I would be which I think is unfair to hold against me like that.
idk I also think its unhealthy to threaten to break up with me everytime we fight and I want to get that across. If I had a job and was contributing, admittedly not nearly as much as her, and was doing quite literally everything else household wise just like im doing now, why is it fair to say im not doing my fair share? I dont know what I wanna do in general in life but that doesnt mean im not going to look while im doing other things like this and I dont think its fair of her to break up with me bc I have no clue what I want to be
Have ice cream ready for when someone cries.
Okay I appreciate that. Ty for your input ????
Why bother? Just forget she exists.
The fact he's not standing up to them, or for you and your relationship, makes me think that his family are used to pushing him around and he's quite likely to listen to them. You need to have it out with him.
Girl common. Move on. Geez. ?♀️