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not neccessary, because this isnt projection, projection implies using it to laud over the person while assuring them that you want the relationship but only doing it for their sake, thats not what he did, he was shocked and he left, even if he isnt okay with it, he isnt wrong for that, if anything the fact that you are mad at such a question is a form of projected , because regardless of outcome ,if you have no regrets as long as they arent shaming you , you shouldnt be offended
Acknowledging the point at all. I don’t think she needs to give in and I don’t think it’s like a competition and there’s a single winner. It’s design after all, you know? My idea for its potential isn’t the only path forward. Likewise, whenever she makes a suggestion in day-to-day stuff that makes more sense or is an alternative to my suggestion, I try to always acknowledge that it has merit or is just as valid/valuable.
You’re right about the stubborn part. I feel like my suggestions or ideas are being put down or unheard and I’ll admit I’m almost unforgiving when that happens.
I’ve definitely phrased my post poorly I think. I tried to build it a lot using this most recent example because I hoped it would have some evidence I’m not seeing that others would. I just want to be heard and whenever I find something lacking or in need of improvement that I can just be heard instead of being treated as an aggressor. I don’t even expect anything to change, I just want to not be defended against or whatever just for voicing my thoughts. Currently it feels like I say, “it’s not my favorite,” and the response is, “what are saying, it’s awesome! You just don’t like it/anything!” And I don’t want it to feel like that.
I understand the other commenters’ perspectives and do agree that you shouldn’t be controlling your brother. Your husband however has a right to not want the dog in his home if it makes him uncomfortable. If he ends up not feeling comfortable with the dog in his home or around his baby, I would support that. His boundaries are just as important as your brothers.
Why are you the only one making effort in this relationship? Or better yet, why are you staying in a one sided relationship?