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I think the down votes you're getting are too harsh, but, sadly predictable. Reddit's full of absolutists but not many pragmatists.
You've been handed a shitty situation and you're trying to make the best of it with the only father and mother you'll ever have.
There should be no shame in forgiving, nor for allowing yourself to recognise the positive changes in you father. Hating or holding a grudge will do you more harm than it will to anyone else.
My advice; tell your mother that while you love her dearly and want her to be happy, you won't be forced into a course of action by anyone. If that means that she won't see you anymore then that's tragic but, she's the one turning her back on you, and you can leave the door open for her to come back if/when she's ready.
You are a porn and sex addict who's using his wife as a blow up doll and coercing her into sex she doesn't want or enjoy. You have problems and beyond that, you're not compatible sexually. If I were to guess there are more issues behind this relationship. Anyway. She should leave you.
And she'll never gain an iota of independence because she doesn't have to. You're paying and doing everything for her! Making excuses for her incompetence on top of it all too.
I've only heard BM used for bowel movement, lol. I was wondering if she meant biological mother, or best man. Never would have guessed baby momma.