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Chat box is comin for yo girl
You've only been together 3 months and he's already comfortable being an abusive bully 5% of the time. The more comfortable he gets, to larger that percentage will become. That's how abusers do it. They don't start out at 100%. They escalate a little at a time. It's the “frog in a pot” method. By the time you realize you're in boiling water, it's too late. Call it a failed experiment and move on.
Are you saying it caused you to be bitter towards them?
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I have questions:
40s for women are usually pretty sexual so I wonder if your wife is having horomonal issues?
Low hormones can cause lack of sexual desire, especially her gaining weight…it could be early menopause or thyroid issues.
You said you think she should know you are unhappy but she can't read minds, have you talked to her? Honest communication is absolutely key!!!!
Your affair is concerning because it is not about your wife, although disrespectful to her & your marriage vows, that is 100% about your own lack of self respect and insecurity. If you have to indulge in attention from other women to feel better about yourself then you need to seek therapy. You can't blame your wife for an unhappy marriage when you yourself don't respect it nor her note yourself.
Remember, in sickness and in health. I will always suggest therapy for you and as a couple. She may be going thru some hormone issues which could cause depression… Ask her how she is doing? Show her you care.
My husband and I have gone thru ups and downs due to health challenges specifically due to emergency hysterectomy and female challenges that caused lack of intimacy but we worked thru it together…her supported me and then we got thru is and for the past 8 yrs have had the BEST sex ever (even better then when we first met when we 20). We are late 40s.
I hope you give your marriage another chance and try to help her and at least communicate better and more often.
Best wishes!
I have questions:
40s for women are usually pretty sexual so I wonder if your wife is having horomonal issues?
Low hormones can cause lack of sexual desire, especially her gaining weight…it could be early menopause or thyroid issues.
You said you think she should know you are unhappy but she can't read minds, have you talked to her? Honest communication is absolutely key!!!!
Your affair is concerning because it is not about your wife, although disrespectful to her & your marriage vows, that is 100% about your own lack of self respect and insecurity. If you have to indulge in attention from other women to feel better about yourself then you need to seek therapy. You can't blame your wife for an unhappy marriage when you yourself don't respect it nor her note yourself.
Remember, in sickness and in health. I will always suggest therapy for you and as a couple. She may be going thru some hormone issues which could cause depression… Ask her how she is doing? Show her you care.
My husband and I have gone thru ups and downs due to health challenges specifically due to emergency hysterectomy and female challenges that caused lack of intimacy but we worked thru it together…her supported me and then we got thru is and for the past 8 yrs have had the BEST sex ever (even better then when we first met when we 20). We are late 40s.
I hope you give your marriage another chance and try to help her and at least communicate better and more often.
Best wishes!
sure. but just stop clicking on their stories
unless this is about a partner or like a best friend who is upset you arent engaging with them – im not sure why its a problem
What’s even more scarier is living a 30 years to life sentence of mental and emotional abuse. That is torture!
The whole concept of “soulmates” is made up rom com bullshit that keeps young people trapped in bad relationships because they think they're “meant to be”. That's not at all how relationships work.
I am with my wife because we love each other, we're committed to each other, and we have all of the elements that make a relationship actually work: trust, respect, honesty, and kindness.
It doesn't get any better than this.
Yes that’s the R word
He said, “if” Reddit reading comprehension is trash
no no, it sounds like this guy has it all figured out. he knows he has a great personality, and won't hear anything to the contrary!
it's us who are wrong!
Yes and also make sure he's exercising. Running or squats are best, testosterone is fueled by muscle development, especially in the legs!
I have a daughter from coed living. Would do again.
I would normally be on her side, but “it’s fine because he has a gf” is the most weak sauce argument a person can possibly make for another person being just a friend. What happens a year from now if/when he breaks up with the gf?
Honestly just cut the guy loose, imagine being in love with someone so much only to find out that they never knew if you were “the one” Jesus's at 26 you got so much maturing to do like how many fairytale princess shit do you watch yo actually think that anyone is going to be “the one” there are 8 billions people on this planet the chance that you will actually find “the one” is 0%.
Don't lose hope just yet. The stress of PhD thesis can wreck havoc in young people as well as those in relationships. It's trying time for you both but I'm sure you can finish this and y'all can look back and wonder why the world felt like it was going to end and yet you drivel both persevered to the very end. He hasn't said he wants it to end. He feels good about the relationship but he's letting his PhD affect his judgment on the direction the relationship should take. That should not have happened at all. Same with you. If he wants time, give him time. If you want time too, take some as well. My point is don't let this affect what you're doing now. Keep pushing on all fronts as I'm sure you can see the finish line no matter the bloody obstacles your super places in your way. If your boyfriend reaches out, tell him how much you miss him physically, how much he plays an important role in your life, and all that. Let your heart out. If he's an understanding guy who loves you as well, he will reply the same way.
He’s been foolish at best, insensitive at worst. He’s been busted for masturbating to girls online… err well I’m guessing with me there are a number of other M’s who have too whilst in a relationship. I suppose that him not discussing boundaries or his drive to release when not with you is an issue that he’s overstepped with. I also totally ? understand and respect that you feel disrespected and disappointed with his lack of tact. Two ways of approaching this, have him agree to browsing mutually agreed content or give him a ban from masturbating without you being present. Have you discussed the root cause of his particular interest in these sites he’s been browsing? I hope that you can work things out together and please let us know if any advice or support has helped. Have an awesome weekend:)
Go there for the evening until they go to bed, help with a couple of bits, come and see me or have a phone call and then go back to his ready to go back there first thing in the morning.
A Queen never begs. 8 years, no ring, no concrete future plans just vibes and empty promises…you know the way to the door. Leave
Yikes. 40 with the maturity of 17.
Thank you for the brutal honesty. I needed it. ❤️?
That’s why you need to find out and then leave as soon as possible. Probably is that some men beat around the bush with this topic and just waste our precious time, instead of being honest from the beginning.
That’s why you need to find out and then leave as soon as possible. Probably is that some men beat around the bush with this topic and just waste our precious time, instead of being honest from the beginning.
I can understand why she would set up a fund for her own children and you would fund your own if your ex is involved, given that she hasn't known your daughter for most of her life.
They’re not suffering, this way it just makes it all equal among the three children, then once it’s back equal he can keep disturbing it evenly among the three of them. That’s fair.
Okay and we have learned not to let those comments go. Repeat after me we don't date people who encourage us to feel badly about ourselves. Yes you're in a terrible situation.
The kid is 4.
Get him a big cardboard box.
Same for the 6 year old, actually.
or a stomp rocket. Stomp rockets are cool!
Sounds like your brother and his wife aren't good people so staying low contact and avoiding the drama is the way to go.
Visit your parents at a different time or go over for Christmas Eve?
You're right. It is a risky game to play. He seems very ambivalent to me. You are also right in that she may not come fully into her own until she has a family of her own. But, is it fair to her to be with someone in good faith who is not certain about her? Marriage means choosing to love someone every day and to love them where they are at and for who they are. Not love them for their potential. Not love them for who they might be. Not love and commit to them if they do xyz. Love isn't just a feeling. It's a call to action. And some days, people aren't that loveable.
What good would it do? As long as you know that you’re the kind of person who did that and you strive to never be that kind of person again, it will do nothing but cause her pain. This is your burden to bear, don’t burden her with it. Unless there’s a chance someone may tell her.
I'm sorry, but it sounds like she is cheating or she's in an emotional affair with someone.
You should have stayed out of it! Your brother Nick is doing exactly what the manipulator Amy wants him to do! Hopefully your brother Levi will eventually see through this manipulative woman who is playing him!
Going through this and him making excuses and hanging out with randoms was the last straw for me.I’ve gotten use to not seeing him and when I do it’s I’d rather be home…it takes focusing on yourself to realize it wasn’t a good situation to begin with.
Advice on how to go about this?
If you haven't said it already then state it's a shit thing to do.
Doesn't matter whether it's game or any other hobby or interest, if you can't have some basic couple time, especially after a date because he sods of to do a hobby all the time, you're not being dramatic having a problem with that.
The money is gone. Now you need to take steps to be proactive and get the girl gone. She's not your girlfriend or your friend, she is a user. Anyone can find a job in 3 years – if they want and need to. Give her a deadline and stick to it.
You're saying that on the “strength” of what precisely?
Not okay. WTF?
Your best friend wants to hook up with your boyfriend and has given everyone very clear signals she wants to do this. Even to you. I'd say that it's time to find a new bestie. Because she will not stop and even if you talked things through, there will still be that lingering feeling of not knowing. Not knowing if she went behind your back to continue with this behaviour.
He looked away and said what are you doing and tried to stand up but she was blocking his way.
This man had a set of breasts dangling in front of his face and he decided his morals and loyalty were with you. Lady, he wants yours and yours alone. No matter what you may think about them, he'll happily oggle them, like a kid staring at his christmas presents, when you undress!
I don't know any more about him, but judging by what I do know I'd say he's a keeper.
Best of luck
Don’t respond. Doing so might encourage them.
Destroyed? I mean I don't know the guy but damn
There’s a website (Model Mayhem) where models, make up artists, photographers, etc trade their talents to build each other’s portfolios.
Colour me surprised at seeing that you're active on r/mensa. What a fucking nutjob
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I didn't take that seriously, I didn't think he'd mean it!
I mean lol why would he want to get back with someone who literally thought he was boring? Only boring people get bored. Maybe work on yourself before fuckin with peoples’ lives 🙂
“I got the message loud and clear. Have a nice life”
He’s a huge liar, why are you wasting your time? I know you really love him, but he doesn’t respect you enough to be upfront with you.
although i never thought about that
Which is exactly why having your door open is the most sensible idea ?♀️ you sound quite young, please don't engage in sex until you're fully informed on contraception/protection, and definitely don't have sex with anyone (no matter what age you are now or any time in the future) until you've had the “what if [we get pregnant]” talk with your partner (and do this with EVERY partner before you have sex for the first time).
That last part is especially important if you on-line in area without access to legal and safe abortion.
And if you're not on the same page with the “what if” conversation, then the two of you shouldn't have sex. It'll inevitably lead to a lot of grief if a pregnancy does occur.
So, just enjoy growing up and living life. Sex isn't that great when you're younger anyway. And if even one of you is underage you'll be putting yourselves at risk legally.
You're getting a divorce for Christmas!
It’s hair. It grows back.
You can talk to him about this, see his point of view, communicate!
Of course if you even want to pursue this relationship, for what I see you are just searching for a reason to end things.
Break up!
Your BF wants to fundamentally change your personality. Nope!
Is it against the rules to cross pay in this and the other relationship sub because she did.
So my partner and I have a ten year age gap. However, this only works for me because I’ve had age gap relationships before and I know what to look out for. Make sure he treats you like an adult, but not like an adult with his experience. Make sure he doesn’t pull the age card or the experience card when making decisions. Also, make sure to be financially independent, ready to walk away at the first sign of any abusive behaviors, and make sure you know that you and him are at totally different stages of life. He might be ready to settle down in the suburbs, while you are still trying to be free and on-line your life. Don’t commit to early and be safe.
You need to sit down and talk with him about it. He most likely doesnt know. Say it makes you feel dismissed. But you NEED to tell him HOW you want to be comforted instead. People need different kinds of comforting and its hot to know what to do without knowing how to actually make your partner feel better
They saw that Turnabout is fair play
Just wait till he's asleep and lay a nice juicy fart right in his face. He takes offense you know he's just an [REDACTED].
That is your husbands job. Why cant he rent her a place. Husband pays no rent right?
So an ultimatum essentially
What did she say when you apologized?
She’s my hero.
These technicalities are annoying. Yes you emotionally cheated. It happens, sometimes you find yourself attracted to some people. What you can control is keeping yourself away from them because you love and value your relationship. You didn't do that, you acted on your feelings so yes, you cheated. What can you do? Leave your poor ex alone, stop using him as the backup in case things go south with your new interest. Let him move on.
Yes, this is too controlling. He was at the beach. The problem wasn't his attire, it was the girl. He fended her off and was honest about it, and your response was to try and police his behavior. Not good.
Ahah ultimate power play ?
It's a form of rape, iirc
If he is in a meeting with someone it is considered rude to take calls at that time. There is no reason to be upset about this. This goes for any professional setting where it would be wasting an employees time. This would include Drs. office, Bank, Mechanic shop, and even ordering a cake at a bakery.
Since you aren't married you can't control his financial decisions, even if you feel he is making a mistake. You can give your opinion, but he can ignore it. The same goes for your house. You have a responsibility to your children and yourself and any decisions you make regarding your house must be made with the children's future in mind, and he doesn't get a say.
It sounds as if you are not ready to combine finances or take the next step in this relationship. I think it might be a good idea if you both went to couples financial counseling in order to ensure you both have the same goals and views regarding finances.
?
You can try issuing him an ultimatum? Say, “fine, I'll meet your friends but you have to meet mine.” Friends are part of the deal. If he still won't do it, maybe it's time to start thinking about why you're with him? And if he's not willing to hear you out, I have to wonder what else he's so stubborn about? Maybe this guy is a fish that needs to be thrown back in the ocean?
I'd ask the same question to the girlfriend. Even in his own version of the story, she's the one who is right. He assumed “we are free, we could go on a date” meant “we're reserving that time.”
She's communicating more directly than him, and it sounds like not only is this a pattern, it's one he refuses to even acknowledge exists and just dismisses her out of hand.
I'll let you in on a secret if you had sex with your best friend who's of the same sex. You're at the very least bi sexual Shocking revelation I know ?
Yeah, don’t take her on a great trip. You would have more fun with literally anyone else at this point. Even your mom!
Lots of people have fat grannies! No one is traumatized by a squishy hug from Grandma.
I hope the wife gets her fat-shaming head out of her ass
If he says hes not ready thats the same thing as saying he doesnt want that right now.
If he says hes not ready thats the same thing as saying he doesnt want that right now.
I didn’t want to choke her, i really didn’t. I really love her but she’s very combative when she drinks.
I agree. She brings out the worst characteristics in me
have you never heard of a rebound?
People who use money as a manipulation tactic suck. Your ex is trash for doing that to you. People who love bomb with gestures, gifts, and spendings only to use it as a weapon against you are narcissistic. You didn’t force your ex to pay for you. He’s full of shit.
I get why you now are distrustful of having people pay because you think it could be used against you. I would just tell your current boyfriend where your feelings are coming from and take solace in knowing you have done more than enough to try to split payments. If your boyfriend insists he’s comfortable paying on dates and doesn’t want 50/50, a nice middle ground is maybe establishing whoever suggests the date pays.
You can come up with some date ideas ahead of time and prepay activities! That way you’re also contributing. I personally don’t find splitting the bill a big deal. It shouldn’t hurt someone’s pride when a partner wants to equitably contribute. 🙂
So for the next 40 or 50 years you and your husband are not supposed to talk about anything relevant sounds like he doesn't give a f*** about you. I would take my husband's advice since you seem to be asking for too much like he's saying and I would leave I'm not going to sit around and be bored for the next 40 or 50 years life is too f****** short
Please tell me he doesn't want to move to Idaho.
Going by your heated replies to people, I think you know you were wrong to get together with a friends ex. At your big age you should all be able to communicate and behave better. You are a bad friend for dating him and she is a bad friend for how she’s bringing things up in public. Let’s hope he doesn’t eventually go for another one of your friends, third time lucky lol
Grey, in addition to her anger issues, does your GF also show signs of having a strong abandonment fear? For example, a few months into your relationship, did she start showing strong jealousy over harmless events involving other women — or try to isolate you away from your close friends and family members? Does she view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing them over her? Does she usually hate being alone by herself (when she is not punishing you with icy withdrawals)?
Totally true, as when the sex felt normal I didn’t even notice/know. He was still using them, as I know now, but the intro was normal. It’s not like he isn’t capable. He’s good at it, he’s experienced, I’m not his first or fifth partner …it just got weird along the way. So I guess I’m maybe asking for advice for the wrong thing??
That wasn't a jokey that was an indirect/direct immature jab at her and your sex life.
Yes. You should.
Because you know you would never treat someone this way in a relationship, the way he treats you.
Always respect yourself first. Know your worth.
As opposed to using your body part to open your phone while you are sleeping? Google is by far the lesser of two evils in this scenario.
I can't change my behavior
BS. You can. You just don't want to.
I have ADHD, and I have learned to manage my impulses even before I knew I had ADHD.
I saw a therapist once a week for 6 months, then fortnightly for another 6 months. I asked for advice, I listened to what I was told & put what I learned into practice. I did the work. I made progress. It was bloody hot. But I did it. Because I wanted to.
By all means, get a diagnosis, but don't use it as a free pass to continue your behaviour.
If you don't want him to leave & you want to do something about it, you already have the answer.
Get therapy. Stop talking about your emotions, and start talking about how to fix your actions. Do the work & put in the effort. Explore getting an ADHD Diagnosis. And if you are diagnosed, get a therapist who specialises in ADHD management.
Stealthing, or intent to stealth, is extremely concerning, particularly since you'd drawn your boundary so clearly.
“In order to right a wrong, sometimes you have to do, a wrong right!”
-Batman
I'd say this is my acquaintance insert name here” or “this is Insert Name here from my gaming group”.
Of course he can have friends but he also has to respect his wife's boundaries as she would have if the roles were reversed. Clearly this is about more than his ability to have friend. He needs to speak to wife to understand her discomfort and act accordingly to reassure his wife
Well, I say that because for months we've been friends, but with a clear sexual interest in each other, hence why we had sex, did sexting and spoke in that manner frequently. But just now she seems reluctant to do what we've done in the past, meet, have a good time and end things, well, you know, in a room. That's what I meant.
Your tiny backstory isn’t tiny. Just leave, he’s not going to change and had clearly shown you that
Considering everyone is attacking this poor guy. I’m always amazed with how “perfect” the chronically on-line redditors here are.
I understand your frustration, especially since you thought you had started to connect with her family including her father. To feel disrespected in such a way is extremely humiliating especially if it’s in front of your girl. Don’t beat yourself up too hot. You lost in at the wrong moment.
I’d suggest if you have a chance, you explain what happened. She can accept your explanation or simply remain mad at you. But a relationship where mistakes are not allowed or even discussed isn’t something that would last. I wish you the best, and don’t beat yourself up too naked.
Yeah, I probably have to think wisely and it won't be the end of the world when the truth would be discovered as I thought before. Thank you.
The two non-obvious things in this story I have is that if she for example told me her bank account got blocked for no reason, or she participates in charity and ask me to borrow some money I would have no doubts, but this crypto thing is so weak point that made me feel suspicious. And I don't regret any second of it, as this person gave me so many good emotions and feelings – I feel our relationship, even as it's fake, is so much happier than when people on-line together for years and then everything collapses for them.
I think you need a new bf.
It’s a small request, sure.
That’s what makes her refusal to respect it a big deal.
This is so bizarre, I can only think she’s doing it to ..show dominance? Idk, man. Weird.
You aren’t weak; you’re traumatized by betrayal of someone you. Try picturing being married to him. You’ll have to be on guard about your finances constantly. You’d have to be the money warden. You’ll always wonder if you can trust what he’s telling you.
She’s gonna crash and probably end up hospitalized with rhabdo or some type of deficiency. Since your child is very young I’m wondering if this is the way she is coping being a new mother.
Don't take her back, she cheated on you with 5 different people on multiple occasions. She showed you who she really is, and she will do it again if you take her back, that's a fact
Once screwed over, you learn to protect yourself. He needs to hang on to that apartment.
OP seems resigned to the presence of strippers at events like that. The fiance lied about touching the stripper, so he must have had a fair idea that OP would not be keen on that. The existence of the boundary was apparently not in question.
When a person does not want sex .. that includes no compromises. A no is a no…
Respect her .. you do not compromise with anything in this category
You forgot to mention your fiancé is your daughter’s ex.
She cut you off for a reason. How dare you use the sentimental value of her dead mother’s jewelry against her?
Congrats. You’ve completely ruined whatever chance you had at a relationship with your daughter.
You forgot to mention your fiancé is your daughter’s ex.
She cut you off for a reason. How dare you use the sentimental value of her dead mother’s jewelry against her?
Congrats. You’ve completely ruined whatever chance you had at a relationship with your daughter.
If the “managing friendships with the opposite sex” is something more than “don’t hang out with people of the opposite sex” I don’t see why would you agree with the girlfriend.
One of my closest friends is an ex boss, he was my mentor and I became the professional that I am thanks to him. I think he’s like 7 years older than me (maybe more, maybe less), but since we met at work we had TONS of things in common. Now that we don’t work together we have less time to share and less things in common, but he’s still a great person and I enjoy his company. I can’t imagine my husband saying something as ridiculous as “it’s inappropriate for you to expend time with other men”.
yes
‘Ok I get it you love me can we just move on?’
Gatekeep sex harder. Cringe. Poly =/= anyone who sleeps with someone other than their partner.
This sounds incredibly toxic…
my phone was off, but he was upset. He showed up at my job and basically caused a scene before my boss kicked him out
He did what???
When I got home, he was so apologetic, loving, and made me feel very special
That doesn't make it okay to do what he did
He’s a massive AH why do you still call him a friend? Who tf wouldn’t feel assaulted by this behaviour?
His “apology” is not an apology. It’s a justification and he’s trying to shift the blame to your gf for being “too sensitive”.
My husband was anxious. Not the friend. He was acting suprising calm if anything. Also it was a friday not a saturday so why couldn't the guy just be fishing on his own? Also are you saying that random looking group of man are like with him or something lol?
Well sounds like your options are to either compromise on something cheaper, or move on and find someone who will give you what you want.
He would've been 18/19 when they started. Also lot of states here have the Romeo Juliet law. So if he's 3-4yrs older it's legal.
Sorry but what does frumpy mean? English is not my first language
Your ex-stepfather is relationally nothing to you. It’s ok to make him nothing to your child too. He won’t remember him.
You got scammed, there's nothing you can do.
With you judging her like this you are no good for her. You are setting yourself up to resent her and disparage her and that bodes poorly for a future together. Move on, spare her your disdain.
I agree this is not about the money. This is about your parents financially, mentally, and physically abandoning you. You grew up an emotional orphan. You have the right to be hurt and angry. When your parents “gave” you money or “helped” you out, they were actually paying you for the gap in minimum wage they missed from the time you were 12. Sh*t, they probably owe you more!
The trauma from being emotionally orphaned does not just go away. It takes therapy and having the chance to be honest about what actually happened. They may not want to hear it, and you may not want to say it to them, but you deserve to be able to voice it to someone. If not a therapist, then at least a trusted confidant to start. The longer it gets held in, the harder it erupts.
Grooming involves a power imbalance. I was a vulnerable, emotionally stunted 20 year old with a bad home life and parents I didn’t get along with.
My entire worldview was shaped by him. I had just entered adult life. Everything from jobs, finances, where we lived was decided by him.
Oh sweet summer child. Wait till you are older and have kids. This valentines I did school drop off/pick up. Assist my partner in the shower, he came home the day before from having surgery in hospital and Payed some bills. Oh and cleaned the house.
You should stop talking nonsense.
Nobody cares if he’s insecure, he’s terrible in every way!! Get the heck out of there honestly. This group is full of people with life experiences and wisdom so LISTEN! He’s just terrible and who cares the reason.
It’s true ?
Yet he’s still hanging out with her going to parties at her house WITHOUT YOU. She’s showing up to his house uninvited. CALL’S his sister like a stocker to see if he’s home. Those behaviors are not normal at all. If your boyfriend really wanted to get away from her he would of set boundaries by now.
Honest question why are you friends with this person? You say she hasn’t spoken to you since you got with your boyfriend………how the hell is your boyfriend friends with her? Please tell me you’re not that dense to not understand THIS IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR?
Just came here to say as a straight man, this is not an expectation of relationships. Some of us prefer intimacy with our partner that is mutually enthusiastic and less like a “job”.
Tell him to stop watching porn and get his mind right.
I’ve been given a number at a restaurant by someone who works there and I talked to a couple times and I just used my Google voice number to text later and basically say “hey I am flattered but I am not looking to date” etc.
If you keep going above asking your female friend if you can stick your dick in them, most likely.
Reread what she said, he's got no source of income, she's supporting him
I even met some of my partner's friends before we were official so that's highly sus. Family, okay if you don't get along, whatever. But not even a single friend? Hmmmm
Guy’s better off too, doesn’t have to stay with someone who doesn’t give a rat’s about him. Win-win!
Dude, alcohol is a depressant, it is not your friend right now.
Focus on yourself, what you want to do & where you want to go in life.
Maybe people perceive him as “sensitive” and feel like they need to think before they speak?
Even if he isn't, he maybe gives off that vibe so maybe that's why men aren't has comfortable around him?
She’s not a supportive partner. Do with that what you will.
I do not agree.
Sometimes people are born and feel unhappy with the body they on-line in.
What is there even “to prepare” someine else for? Let them be. This is nobodys business but their own!
That sucks. I'd let him know if he's going to cheat, he should at least try to hide it, and then dump his ass.
She always told me not to get jealous cause he already has a child and my girlfriend doesn't want to ruin his relationship.
This justification for why she thinks you shouldn't be jealous? It's reason to dump
If she can't handle the fact that you're dealing with a ton of school work its time to reconsider the relationship
I think I am interested in working past it. Especially given we have kids. My instinct, in fact, is to ignore it. But I am worried it will eat away at me.
you either stay with her or you don’t. if you’re going to stay, you need to talk it out and go to counseling.
I know. I’m just clarifying it for people that think the mom is not okay with all of this. We’re going to go about it legally and my daughter will formally be in my custody
Or anal
The thing is – it sorta is a pattern already!
Several times when we’ve made plans on a weekend, she showed up extremely hungover.
However, I’ve always laughed about it and assured here that as long as she’s being safe and having fun, I have no issues with her clubbing.
Thanks for the advice!
yes i came to realise it might be different for him all tho it made me a little sad that i can't just talk about everything i think lmao but i need to respect his feelings.
and yes i do realise the face is a body part i was only talking about how i don't intend in a sexual way.
I have tried to talk to her into checking with the doctor again. But she refuses and says she's perfectly healthy, and that I am trying to accuse her of mental illness. I will have to try and talk to her again. Any advice on how to approach it without me looking like I am 'accusing' her? It seems like a sensitive topic for her
I'm praying it's fake but like, I've also heard legit stuff that's worse (unfortunately).
It's hot to explain exactly what's going on because I'm still not sure what's going on fully. He is unsure about his feelings on everything but says there isn't really anything he feels for me anymore.
I appreciate the comment. I'm trying to stay strong but unfortunately it hasn't been going great.
I think the reason why I’m staying is because this is my first serious relationship, and there’s probably some childhood trauma that makes me want to “care” for others who struggles. I genuinely feel bad for him, cause when I look at him I see a damaged person.
Despite his problems he’s always been really kind and supportive of me. Every morning he brings me my favorite tea, he always makes sure I’m safe, he usually let me make important decisions, he always includes me and speaks nice of me to his family and friends +++ much more. If I want to cook dinner at 2am he’s okay with it.
He’s however only nice and kind to me when I am “calm”. If I start trying to bring up important issues that he finds uncomfortable he’ll treat me like shit. Like when I told him I was struggling a lot after my miscarriage, he turned into a monster, because he thought I was blaming him for my miscarriage. He has a really fragile ego that can’t tolerate criticism.
Any guy who’s a newlywed pursuing someone should automatically make him a disgusting piece of shit. Think of that.
Sorry you’re going through this! Update us!
1-I’m not sure if your friend is not very bright or is mentally unwell but I would be very concerned about her safety. She’s putting herself in very dangerous situations. 2-Unfortunately if she’s refusing ti listen the best y’all can do is try to be there for her and not all that creep in their apartment.
It’s easy to test negative even if you have it, if you aren’t In an outbreak
Most places won’t even test for it unless you have an outbreak for that very reason.
It sounds like you're ready for a more serious step, and he just isn't there, whether that be because he isn't ready or he just doesn't care. You need to talk to him about it
People show their love in different ways. Personally, I love giving gifts to people. I think it’s fair to put a line about not wanting/expecting any gifts, but it would be crazy to uninvite or kick someone out of the wedding because they wanted to give you a gift.
Also, you keep saying that this is a ridiculous thing to argue about, so why are you hanging on to this so tight? Not to be rude, but this sounds more like a personal issue than a relationship problem. It’s okay to accept gifts from people
I would insist that she get some therapy. They must have something through the college or she could try a church or women's support group.
I sympathize with those who have emotional or mental health issues except when they won't work to try to get better. I see it all of the time, a partner who refuses to get therapy and instead relies on the other partner to take care of them. It is too much for anyone.
You both want two different things from life. He will never marry you. Do you want that or will you continue to break your own heart by staying with this guy? He doesnt sound like a good fit for you. Find someone who wont hesitate to marry you. I personally would never get married but i wouldnt date someone who is looking for marriage.
Yeah, it's notable that this 18 year old is now 23. Not that big of an age difference compared to her own nine year gap…
Stay focused on your studies. Stay busy with your friends and make new friends.
You should leave him and report him. He probably has more on his computer or somewhere else. It doesn’t usually stop at that…he’s a disgusting human and should be investigated.
Unstable relationship. Don't do any moving in!
Maybe you don't come off as “girlie.” Style of dress, hair, makeup, jewelry, that sort of thing.
And if that is the case, you are probably owning your own style, and shouldn't worry about it. You may project strength.
Maybe you don't come off as “girlie.” Style of dress, hair, makeup, jewelry, that sort of thing.
And if that is the case, you are probably owning your own style, and shouldn't worry about it. You may project strength.
I am going to say something and it may be hurtful. Did you specifically ask if he saw these things with you. Or just in general, because those are 2 very different things.
Ask her and her kids over for dinner. Nip this thing in the bud.
At this point, hints and beating around the bush are not gonna work. From your post he probably feels the same way. You can say something like, “(name), I want you to know that I value your presence in my life and I realize I like you more than a friend, do you feel the same way?” It's likely that he'll tell you yes. Keep it simple, then update us.
You’re young, it’s probably gonna feel like that with a lot of girls that come along. Maybe be single and check things out out there, or stay in your relationship and always wonder. Don’t cheat though that’s bogus, Good luck to ya my fine feathered friend