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Change like that isn't an easy thing, it's much like building a new way of thinking about the world. It does take time and practice. It's also very different from person to person. My process is intellectual, my wife's is emotional. You're going to have to find what works for you. My best advice is this: failure is an event, not a person. Everyone must go through it and you likely will fail at this more than once. Don't let it hurt your drive, desire, or self.
I’m glad it wore off finally! I used to look at him and be crazy lol he is my first in everything and I grew attached and this moment of not wanting him anymore is a relief.
Your husband is deep in “I have this cake but I also want this pie” stupidness. He's hoping that if he figures out the right magical words he can be with you AND pursue her. He's directly telling you that he loves you… but not enough to handle his own feelings about other people. He's indirectly asking you for permission to chase after her and for you to be OK with him seeing if he can get in her pants. He's all google eyed at the idea of an older woman he finds attractive seeming to find him attractive as well… this is teen peen brain decision making, basically. But the why doesn't really matter, because he's also a married man with kids who should have better control over his peen urges.
He's not a mature adult, he's still figuring himself out and you unfortunately made a mistake marrying him. Some people do know themselves at your ages, you clearly are more mature than he is for example. Some people are just at the mercy of their immature impulsive wants/desires and may never grow out of it.
The fact that he isn't of his own volition going “Wow, I'm feeling something here that is a threat to my relationship, I better cool my jets and refocus on my wife” or having talks with you about how to refocus on your relationship so he can get out of this horny brain is a huge red flag. Instead he's not only talked himself into how chasing her is acceptable but he's trying to talk you into that as well.
You deserve better. This is a very serious issue, and the fact that not only is he not respecting your feelings and pulling back from her to redirect on you, but he's got you convinced he can't control his feelings and making you feel guilty.
If I were you this is one of those rare ultimatum times. Either he acknowledges he's behaving super badly here and actually puts serious work into disconnecting from this woman (who by the way is a predator. She's 31 and flirting with a 23 yr old, that's gross AF even if he wasn't married, the fact that he is just puts another layer on the shit pie she is) or you're leaving him so he can on-line the singleton life he suddenly is leaning into because you are NOT his backup plan or second choice.
Because that is what is happening here. Either he's going to persue her and be successful and end up leaving you for her or just openly cheating on you with her for a while and expect you to suck it up like nothing is wrong. Or he's going to pursue her and fail and come back to you all sad and mopey and you'll have to sooth him through his sad peen feels. And in EITHER of these scenarios… he WILL find another woman to get infatuated with again sometime in the future and the same bullshit will unfold and he will expect the same from you… be his safety net so he can explore another woman's vageen without risking ending up alone, or be his recovery net when she turns him down.
Is that who you want to be? No, hell no. You want to be your husbands FIRST and only real choice. Sure, it's not uncommon to sometimes get the hots for someone outside of a monogamous relationship, but if you LOVE the person you're with and are not unhappy with the relationship, you shut that shit down immediately and redirect to your real relationship. You don't indulge and dream and chase and if only and what if.
What he's doing to you is not only gross, but it's unfair as hell. He's expecting you to coddle him into another womans arms and be fine with whatever happens, whether that's him cheating on you or him needing you to sooth him through rejection.
You are worth better, your kid(s) sure as hell are.
Either he shuts this shit down NOW and gets into therapy to deal with his immaturity and lack of skill in managing his feelings, or your marriage is over. If you think he will resent you or you will feel guilty (for NOTHING, by the way), then just end the marriage right now.
Look, if you're single you can be friends with whoever you like. But when you're in a relationship part of your job is defending your relationship from people who are threats to it, and that includes NOT being close too or pursuing friendship with people who are actively making you lean out of your relationship. He has a “right” to be friends with whomever he wants… sure… but that does NOT mean that you have to accept it when it's a friendship that is harming your relationship like this one is. He needs to choose, you and his kid or this woman. And he needs to be DAMN clear that this is HIS choice that he's making because your relationship is his priority, not because you're “making” him. Do not allow him to weasel that bullshit into your head.
When we're in monogamous relationships, some of our single behavior “rights” no longer exist if they cause harm to our monogamous relationship.
The mother is even worse