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Sounds like your relationship will have to accommodate her unresolved issues until she gets treatment.
Most people have bouts of depression and many have had to overcome traumas. It's sadly the state of humanity, often times. I would encourage her to try and find resolution, so that she can be the best partner that her potential will provide.
This post says a lot about their relationship and who the bf is, but exposes more about OP. I sincerely hope this post is fake otherwise this is a horrible way to live… please believe that you’re worthy of everything that you wish for in a relationship / life OP.
Only unstable people do this as a desperate effort to gaslight/abuse/control their SO. Please see the field of red flags and run OP, this could quickly escalate into a dangerous situation.