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Don't say this, it lets him know exactly how much you know and gives him a chance to spin a story and manipulate you to change your mind. Go get legal counsel and start making a plan.
I’m failing to see the problem here
Complaining won't help you understand people any better
As sad as it might be, this is more normal than you think. I can see that you are taking it personally but it might not be about you, guys just like looking at pretty girls. Its not ok, but it is reality. Whether its an instagram model, the girl walking her dog down the street, or a tiktok thot- it is in our biology to check out other girls. It also doesn't mean he doesn't think you're attractive he just likes to see pretty girls. That said, my approach to all relationship problems is one about curiousness while withholding judgment. Ask him what he's getting out of it that you might be able to provide to him instead. Also state why it hurts you and draw a boundary for yourself. My wife catches me checking out girls all the time and she understands that it doesn't mean anything about her. Likewise I catch her checking out dudes and we talk about them.. there are billions of people out there all attractive, its ok for them to draw eyes as long as we don't disrespect our significant other and we have a healthy relationship and communication.
That’s nasty. How do people go from one person’s body to another?? ???♀️
And he immediately disagreed to your hypothetical terms, so this isn’t about “every guy’s fantasy”, it’s about him getting permission to cheat, because he wants to be able to say that he had a threesome. You don’t owe him polyamorous experiences when you both agreed to monogamy.
Just don’t agree to anything you don’t want to do and be prepared for ANY and ALL reactions to your refusal.
Good Luck
It's up to you then? He's made it clear his reasons are that he wants to live! together first. I think that's reasonable. If closing the distance has failed because of financial reasons, I think you should direct the effort to that. I know it's easier said than done – but there's no magical answer here? You don't want to break up, you don't want to feel like you begged him, you just want him to magically change his whole mindset. Just up to you to decide what's more important. Being engaged or being with him.
He probably only offered his friend a glass because he was a guest, the weight shaming and the texting other women though… those 2 are red flags.
You've spoken to him about it already and he is not willing to change, he really just said “we grew up differently” as an excuse so he doesn't have to try to make you happy. That to me is the sign to leave.
When she asks, Tell her you can't afford it but if she wants to treat you would love too.
Don’t answer anymore of her calls unless you like being toyed with.
I suspect that he's drugging you. And even if he isn't, he's perpetrating sexual assault and domestic violence on you. Please call your local women's center for support. They can help you with therapy, education about what healthy relationships look like, resources if you need to leave him, substance abuse counseling if you think you need it, and other types of assistance. Don't wait.
No, & maybe there’s more to the gfs reasoning it that OP hasn’t shared. But since I haven’t seen that I won’t make that assumption.
Eg I would understand if gf wanted to break up bc OP was moving somewhere far away and gf didn’t want to be in a long distance rlshp. Or if they had small kids and OP’s decision was going to upset the balance of the kids lives and stuff. Or if OP’s sister was abusive or toxic & I thought them living together was enabling the sister, potentially dangerous to OP, & I didn’t want to witness or be a part of clear destruction ahead.
But saying I don’t wanna be involved in helping ur sister (fine) and I don’t want u to help either in the way you’re most comfortable helping, so choose between me and ur sister, but u cant have both is completely different. And again, controlling.
Again, maybe there’s more to it, but atp if I were OP I’d be rethinking things with my gf. Bc ultimatums like that are … concerning.
You pointed out what you saw and the potential for a bad outcome. People don't like that.
she had way too much self-respect to be a cheater
Evidently this statement was not true. I would steer clear of her.
Ex girlfriend now
All the mother has to do is block her ex and all related on social media – which would be the healthy thing to do. Then she could just ignore them completely and still enjoy her relationship with her son.
She’s not enjoying her relationship with her son, because her son is enjoying his relationship with his cheating dad and his affair partner. Associating with her son while he is still doing this is hurting her, so she has decided to stop. Like I said, OP is lucky she gave him another chance in the first place.
And I didn't stop loving or needing either of my parents when I turned 24.
That’s you, OP is apparently different. He’s definitely done with the loving part where his mom is concerned, and I guess for his sake he’d better hope he’s done with the needing part too.
“You missed a golden opportunity to keep that to yourself, dude.”
I commed you're taking the steps you did, OP
Yep there's shit going on here. Either OP is clueless or lying to themself. YTA
I have different standards. That's what you're not getting.
My standards aren't “low”, I'm sure they are higher in other areas where yours are “low”. For some reason, you think your standards are benchmark. They aren't. Your BF is telling you that too.
If he can't live! up to your standards, break up with him then.
Your 19, chill.
He sounds so inconsiderate. I got so mad reading this post. He couldn’t even be bothered to drive and didn’t care how exhausted you’d be after a 24 hour shift and yet he still wants you to feel bad that you were a couple minutes late to loose plans? He sounds like such an AH. I rarely recommend to break up but in this instance you really deserve better.
He is right that you shouldn't buy a house together this early. (Did the two of you talk at all about what would happen with the house if you broke up?)
He isn't right to only bring this up at the last minute. All your feelings are valid. You should talk to him about how you're feeling.
Boy does this guy sound like a great catch.