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I’m not saying he would but yea he could. I’ve seen stuff like this that lead to silent resentment from a partner
Serious question… what are you doing to address your insecure nature in the meantime? I don’t mean that in a rude way, it’s just that reading zodiac compatibility isn’t something that should send off alarm bells if there’s no other signs of infidelity or anything in the relationship. The insecurity, though, could very well end up pushing her away—and saying “she knows I’m an insecure person” isn’t good enough.
This sounds like love bombing, I’m so sorry you had this experience and you don’t have family close maybe bumble bff or an activity you enjoy could help you with a good healthy community of friends first to help you see if anything is ever awry again and I’m just really sorry you’re hurting
You can love someone and not be compatible for long term commitment. You are right to point out how her wants don’t match with his. And his also sound ridiculous (can’t move in together, wants kids? What?!)
Nothing
Take your kids and go!!
Full disclosure, I’m a guy and I’m happily married. I have a daughter and HAD one on the way. My wife had a miscarriage. It sucks.
In saying that, life goes on. The due date is no longer a thing. Why should he say something about it? There’s nothing to say. It’s not a celebration or a mourning date. It’s a prediction of something that wasn’t.
Having said all that, this is between the two of you and what you’ve discussed about it. It’s not up to us. Good luck.
I suggest that you reevaluate this relationship. She seems like the type to want her cake and eat it too. Telling you to start saving up money while she’s going out partying to vegas and cancun? Are you kidding me? Do you even know what these parties entail? Do you have any idea what happens when a group of 20-something girls is let loose in places like that? Exactly the same thing as when a group of 20-something dudes does it. Get the picture? Every bad idea comes out, and next morning everyone swears to secrecy. Dude, I don’t know how to put it politely, but it’s time for an upgrade. Don’t waste your years on someone for whom partying is more important than building a partnership. Also, get tested. Asap.
If you don’t know (or care) much about computers, maybe ask around a bit and find out what else he’s into that you do like? Then think of any question about that and ask him next time you see him.
“So and so mentioned you like Marvel. Have you seen all the movies? Which is your favorite?”
Next time show up at her place with a bottle of wine.
Honestly just cut the guy loose, imagine being in love with someone so much only to find out that they never knew if you were “the one” Jesus's at 26 you got so much maturing to do like how many fairytale princess shit do you watch yo actually think that anyone is going to be “the one” there are 8 billions people on this planet the chance that you will actually find “the one” is 0%.
the relationship is already damaged, they just haven't admitted it yet. which is why it's not kanipulative, it's not about giving her an ultimatum but it's stating his intentions for next steps, and then following through.
It’s not demanding to ask someone about a promise they made. Ask about it
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Does he only like photos of female friends or does he generally like whatever comes up on his feed? If the latter, he's just using social media like a normal person.
i have better things to do then scroll and double tap people i know & their selfies
Most everyone has better things to do than be on social media at all, it's not exactly known for being a productive use of time. I have better things to do than scroll cat videos on Reddit but alas, I often choose the cats.
If you want someone who doesn't use social media at all that's your prerogative (though very unusual these days), but if this is just an insecurity thing I'd try to work through that because someone liking their friends' completely innocuous photos is not something that should be inspiring jealousy.
I never heard the term gaslighting until earlier this year after that stupid show came out. Now I hear it constantly and far too often used incorrectly. It's a form of psychological manipulation ABUSERS use against their VICTIMS. I don't think it really applies to a husband being less than forthcoming to his wife about a friend. I agree he is being shady but I wouldn't consider that abuse.
I don’t want to sound mean, but it seems like he’s trying to show you how much he values you relationship by not making an effort. I think you should pull back in your efforts until he starts to show you more.
It's tough because we have kids and financial dependence on one another. It sucks but it's become quite a common relationship in today's day and age
Most of your comment history is about how much you fuck women on dating apps. Stop lying on the internet for validation.
Facts it’s just kinda nude to leave someone that you love like that
Yes to all of this, especially the ultimatum. OP needs to ask her why he must consider her way, but she not consider his. A lifelong partnership is about so much more than a wedding day. If this is how she operates, she is not ready for marriage. OP needs to find all of this out now before he even proposes. They need to have some nude, thorough, complete conversations about their relationship. Communication is key.
I certainly can't claim all the credit! We both learned and grew a lot in that relationship, and I'm really grateful for the year we had together. I think we both treated each other well, and cared for each other well, and we both ended up better for the relationship on the other end. I definitely supported him a lot, but it was mutual–we both left each other better than we found each other (in most ways, that is). We don't talk much anymore, but I still consider him a dear friend.
My next relationship was a dumpster fire though so clearly I still have a lot to learn ?
Just so you know, a partner who strangles you is more likely to kill you in the future. Also, the leading cause of death among pregnant women is homicide. The odds are stacked against you. Make good choices.
It is absolutely exhausting. It's a huge fight at least once a week. Always him reading my body language, or insisting I mean something I didn't say, putting words in my mouth, telling me I'm lying about the way I feel.
It's not how I want my life to be.
You’re so young man, you should do whatever your mind tell you to, this is the learning stage ! If anything I wouldn’t even waste time with that one, if you really want her to notice you, I’d ask her friend out instead, considering this sounds like high school, she will probably be more curious that way, sounds dumb but it works
These comments aren’t doing it for me. You told him not to have a sex with you when you’re on the drug, he does so anyway, which is so incredibly disrespectful. You ask him to explain what you said that made him have sex with you the last time this happened and he gave a mumbled and vague answer? That is not how honest, innocent adults talk and communicate. Be cautious, please.
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He gave you a warning that if you didn't have sex with him long enough, he'd look for it outside of your relationship. Are you okay with that? Especially with you being long distance, this guy sounds like a ticking time bomb
I 100% agree with that. She doesn't ask. But I feel like if I'm not trying to see her in my spare time, I'm not trying enough. And I feel like it's in vain some times. And I try to make the most of that single day.
Sounds like you have a gut feeling about the way she would want it. Is she super close with family?
Sarah isn't a very nice person or friend. You are an AMAZING friend & what I call good people, Sarah doesn't deserve you in her life. If you don't want to attend that potluck, don't. You don't owe them any explanation. They are bad friends who should have stuck up for you. Sending you a big hug.
If she’s refusing help such as couples counseling or a therapist, then honestly you need to be start to think about if you really want to stay in this relationship.
Do you really want to be with someone who wont get help, and always be worried about her thinking youre a rapist? She already used it against you once in an argument that had nothing to even do with the situation, is she going to be using it against you in other arguments whenever she wants to too?
Advice on how to go about this?
If you haven't said it already then state it's a shit thing to do.
Doesn't matter whether it's game or any other hobby or interest, if you can't have some basic couple time, especially after a date because he sods of to do a hobby all the time, you're not being dramatic having a problem with that.
I gave you advice, don’t pick stupid pedantic fights just because you being right is more important than your boyfriend’s feelings.
Don’t interrupt people just because you’re need to be right is more imply than other people.
Don’t shit down a conversation just bet you’re not being treated as if you are automatically right.
Because you’re wrong. So very wrong.
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Then why did you ask the internet for advice/judgement?
That's actually still very brave of him. How many guys have you asked out?
Do you feel like your relationship is stagnating because he won't move in with you? or do you want to move in with him because you feel like your relationship is stagnating? Your answer to this question matters.
I am not in for a serious relationship
Tell her that, and stop talking to her. It's not nice to string her along to hookup even if she still wants to – it will only hurt her in the long run. She is holding out hope that if she sticks around long enough you will change your mind. Don't let her to that to herself.
You got bored with him but still wanted to keep him as a safe backup while actively hunting for guys more exciting than him. Does that sound normal to you?
thank youu so much for sharing this story ?? it’s really eye opening!
he sounds controlling
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i’ve actually told her a few times that i’m uncomfortable with our age gap but i don’t think she listens
The thing is, I see a lot of people not liking the fact he doesn’t enthusiastically want to get married. But it’s not that he doesn’t want to commit to you, he doesn’t care about marriage. Yet at the same time it sounds like you don’t care about marriage, you just want the big party. Those aren’t incompatible things to me. He says “fine we’ll sign the papers so you can have your party.” Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about being with you. I know people who didn’t care about marriage, but did it mainly because of like if something happened to one of them they’d be able to make the medical decisions. Particularly in a situation where the family doesn’t like the partner and would ice them out on those decisions without marriage saying they can’t.
You said you like your life, you’re happy paying for the party you want, you have good things going on between you on a regular basis, enjoy traveling, have similar goals for life. You pay most things but he does all the chores. Personally to me, you sound happy. And you’re letting all the people here and your family tell you how they think you should feel about it. You aren’t pinning for marriage because you want to be married, you want a special party/big day. Which is fine, and he’s willing to do that with you. I don’t think in cases where you’re getting married for the party, the medical insurance, the power of attorney, etc need to necessarily be grand romantic things that you both are over the moon about. You enjoy your life, you want a big party, he’s willing to legally commit because you want that day. Done. I’d just tell your family it’s what you want, and if genders were reversed they’d be fine with it. They’re being old fashioned and sexist. It’s your decision, you’ve made it, and that’s the end of it.
We are. He told me he wanted to be exclusive last summer.
Um, yes it is. You two are no longer together. He has literally no say in how you choose to live your life. That he doesn’t understand this is the problem.
What the hell do you do?
Go to swim.
Hey OP is this the same pedophile you claim you broke up with in your post last week?
It sounds a bit like you just need to forget about this guy and find someone who likes what you've got…
On the other hand I'm a guy who likes big bums/boobs myself and the girl I miss the most was very thin and I was still genuinely super attracted to her physically. I wouldn't have ever thought of wanting her to change… but I also wouldn't have made comments about liking big butts all day when I was with her. I would have been distraught if she told me she was up at night thinking I'd like her more if she looked more like whatever person.
I think the key is you need to say that his comments make you feel uncomfortable and ask that he stop going on about these girls, then choose to stay or go depending on whether he respects your wishes. You can't force anyone to do anything but you can decide to leave. If he refuses or if he agrees to stop making comments and then starts throwing them out again the moment you have an argument then you'll know he doesn't really respect you.
You've got your whole life ahead of you and there's no need to waste time on a guy who doesn't respect or appreciate you.
This smells fishy I think he's trying to get you on the back foot by playing jedi mind games. I smell a Jerk trying control you. …I bet there's plenty of people interested in you. Your just not being a tool about it. He's trying to unsettle you making you subservient. How soul destroying ? ? ?
Omg. What if he's still seeing Britt…
Why does he need to go hiking with her and take pics to commemorate the event…Hmmm..
add that to the lying and hiding things from you from September. Plus he's got a history as a cheater. Yep, not good.
Yeah, breaking up sucks. I totally understand. Even I missed my ex whom I wasted years on, although he was a cheater and treated me like crap.
But if I were you, I'll be thanking my lucky star that you didn't waste over a year with this lying piece of person.
Someone is looking out for you out there. You dodge a bullet.
Question: have you tried solving this by telling your boyfriend that he’s a gross pig with an attitude to match?
I’ve thought about that, like I said in other comment, I give him all the money to pay for everything. I know everything we pay and the numbers add up. But I always have that weird feeling on my chest. I always have to beg him for us to go out, not to spend, but to have a nice chat outside of the house. And I always have to make sure he doesn’t buy something we can’t afford.
Yeah, Reddit history checks out to show what kind of husband you are.
Hopefully your wife wises up. She’s young and can have a bright future ahead of her if she finds someone who actually loves and respects her.
Yah this is why people end up going NC with their family members
What part are you unable to commit to?
Thank you so much. This helped a lot. First thing tomorrow morning I'm going to apologise to her for checking her phone. And..it is already being nude for me to maintain a healthy relationship. I really dont want to, but i get riled up at the slighest thing. I really want to work on this but have no idea how to. Can you maybe give some advice on that too? And thanks again…..your answer helped a lotttt
No one should pressure you into marriage. Rethink your relationship
Glad, you did the right thing in the end. At least, you know how to choose good men. They weren’t angry, just took the info and asked for you to consider a relationship. My coworker moved to Australia last year… So, sounds like a wonderful new start. Wishing you the best in life.
i guess i got upset because i thought that they’d fall in love with the person or something ?it’s really stupid because it’s never a specific person…it’s anyone they hang out with…which most likely isn’t healthy
Take the ladder from the swimming pool. Who? Me?
You’re a terrible story teller
Update us after your brother's friends go to collect your sister's stuff.
!RemindMe 1 week
Actually OP, you are the side chick. Your fiance is denying his feelings for his bandmate because she is a supermodel beautiful and he is just so so. He cant hide his feelings for long.
It’s okay- now that you realized it I hope there are some real changes. Stand strong- if you let it slide after a month or two of good behavior and let it revert back it wont end well for your sanity! Imagine when y’all have kids (if you choose to)- he would likely put the whole of the child rearing on you too and girl let me tell ya that will drive you insane- it’s not physically possible to work FT, be the person taking the load of raising children AND cleaning the whole house!!! Times are changing and with more women working outside the home the men need to step up- or be single ! Goodluck! You got this! Stay firm and it will work. I’m very glad to hear he was so receptive to change and helping! That’s a good sign just stay on top of it!
You would be best served by completely cutting him off. All communications and relationships, professional or otherwise. He dumped you to pursue another woman. It didn't work out, so he hopes that you'll take him back. The thing is, you're his consolation prize. He doesn't truly value you. Since you appear to be a strong and independent woman, I highly suggest you completely forget about him. A man worthy of your attention will never view you as a consolation.
This honestly does not even work in a parent-child (even adopted) dynamic bc I'll tell you right now, as a 28F with 29M partner we would not be able to adequately parent an 18yo, or even a 15 yo. There's not enough of an age/experience gap to establish authority.
On top of that, any adopted child comes with a lot of trauma but one with nearly 18 years of it? Well out of our depths. You can provide them shelter & food, but that's not parenting.
One of the first lines: “I don't like DrAmA.” /continues to cause more drama with their shi**y behavior
If it's an important story about important friends, I could understand him being frustrated that you didn't remember- maybe feeling like the things that are important in his life are irrelevant to you.
However the idea that you're lying is weird. This dude does not seem well and you're probably better off without.
But a word to the wise is maybe if this is a running problem- ie you failing to remember things your partner tells you- make a more conscious effort in the future because that definitely can be hurtful.
Ah I really can’t remember now. I think they haven’t spoken since but honestly who can blame her. Like I know teenagers do some nasty shit in the peak of their horny phase but this is wild ?
This is the comment he should definitely read. But think he's looking for comments that help him justify going ahead with sleeping with her.
I'm not very eloquent so I probably won't be able to express the correctly…but reading this made my stomach turn. It seems like he's somehow maneuvered himself into a position to have total control over your life and your body. You say he's a good guy but honestly, how? It feels like he was absolutely determined to impregnate you again, and now that he has, it's all on you to do what he planned or suffer the consequences. So, to him, you are literally just a little incubator destined to exactly what he says – with no room for compromise at all? Won't get a vasectomy? Won't be a SAHD? Won't abort? Won't adopt? Won't be a solo parent?
Sorry to sound harsh, but what kind of person would do this? Not a good one. I'm so sorry you're going through this. If there is any hope for you and your situation, you've got to get into therapy with him immediately and hopefully someone can talk some sense into him. I would be so deeply hurt and angry in your position – I hope you can get a happy resolution and continue enjoying your life.
Ugh still not working. ?
Ugh still not working. ?
You led with the wrong information. Bringing up how you can’t forgive him after 10 years for cheating in a situation most wouldn’t consider cheating makes you seem petty. If he was really sleeping with your just-turned-16-at-the-time sister while he was in college, he’s a disgusting pervert and you should never let him forget that he’s a creep.
Take this for what it is: A chance to take an introspective look at yourself and your relationship.
You just found out your significant other is unhappy and starting to miss his old relationship because you guys constantly fight and your first reaction is being upset and fighting about it?
I wasn’t putting any words in your mouth. I am saying your position/take is wrong. Full stop. Nobody should be off-limits, and loyalty goes both ways. Doesn’t your loyalty to your friends extend to helping them find happiness? Even if that happiness isn’t one you’d choose for them? You’d drop them for loving someone you don’t want them too and brand them a bad friend, while deliberately blocking a connection and expecting them to still consider you a good friend. Do you not see how petty and wrong headed that is?
I was best man at the wedding between my college best friend and my ex-girlfriend. I was glad for both of them because I loved them. That’s how my loyalty and friendship flows. I put THEM first.
If she's your best friend you need better friends.
If the important thing is that you can’t imagine why he has been attracted to other people that you consider ugly, well, it’s a you problem. It speaks of insecurity and it’s something you have to work on your own, to understand where is it coming from. Your jealousy says more about yourself that about him and nothing he does or doesn’t can help you there.
If the issue is that he might have “cheated” on you, you will have to work together into coming to terms with the past (and hopefully you’ve learnt that you don’t like knowing about your partner’s past love life, so it’s a topic best left unspoken).
If the important thing is that you can’t imagine why he has been attracted to other people that you consider ugly, well, it’s a you problem. It speaks of insecurity and it’s something you have to work on your own, to understand where is it coming from. Your jealousy says more about yourself that about him and nothing he does or doesn’t can help you there.
If the issue is that he might have “cheated” on you, you will have to work together into coming to terms with the past (and hopefully you’ve learnt that you don’t like knowing about your partner’s past love life, so it’s a topic best left unspoken).
If the important thing is that you can’t imagine why he has been attracted to other people that you consider ugly, well, it’s a you problem. It speaks of insecurity and it’s something you have to work on your own, to understand where is it coming from. Your jealousy says more about yourself that about him and nothing he does or doesn’t can help you there.
If the issue is that he might have “cheated” on you, you will have to work together into coming to terms with the past (and hopefully you’ve learnt that you don’t like knowing about your partner’s past love life, so it’s a topic best left unspoken).
After 4 months really you trust a person fully?
He told me he loved me after a month (I told him I care about him but I am to guarded to say I love you so early on, he hasn't said it since).
1 month in he barely knows you, this is all infatuation, not love….tbh, I'd be REALLY concerned about a 26 year old love bombing a teeanger.
He is building a house and I have been involved in the process.
Chances of you still being together in a few years are tiny…. you shouldn't be involved in this rpocess at all.
I mean, at the end of the day no one is the perfect “all-rounder”, people are flawed. You just need to decide of you can deal with those flaws or if they're dealvrwakers for you. You have quite a comprehensive list there of things you demand from a partner so
He used to be in a toxic relationship where his old partner also used blocking as a way to punish him. He says through me he now realizes that she was right and that he deserved to be blocked and locked out of the house back then even though he (like me) used to have panic attacks over it.
The thing about toxic relationships is you need to relearn what behaviors are toxic and what aren't. He's only saying he deserved it because it's not happening to him anymore. Would he be okay with it if you starting blocking him for no reason? He knows how you feel about being blocked but just doesn't care. With how childish and insensitive he is, why do you think it will be better when you're dating in person. Toxic behaviors tend to get worse when they're not being addressed and he dont think he's doing anything wrong. I would block him permanently.
So, is he stealing to get money for drugs, or what?
He seems genuinely unlikable. We aren't in relationships to do things for each other, we are in relationships because we want to be with the other party of that relationship.
If a relation has turned into a chore or just fucking bullshit and it isn't a rough spot like “we have a new baby and the old baby and jesus I haven't slept for 13 months”, then you don't have to soldier on. Get out and get a new date, do something fun, leave that boring shit behind. He's probably not the one.
read the previous post
OP is saying 24f is sexually assaulting her husband because she’s having an affair and could give him an STI.
Why do you want things to work out? Seriously? Because it feels like failure? Because there’s no shame in recognizing a bad match.
I would try to get someone to take his place, failing that, take the trip solo. If he insists on coming, stay in separate rooms
Yes,she did the night shifts because I had to commute and work all day while she would be able to nap with the children throughout the day. So, I kept the roof over their heads, heat on, food on the table, and all of the other necessary stressors of life taken care of so she ONKY had to worry about the children.
If you’ve been around and around about trust “many times,”then the relationship has not been great. You’re refusing to see the problems for what they are.
That! Tell her the truth. Then you won’t have to worry about her wanting to be married anymore.
Why are you worried about hurting him? He didn't think of your feelings when he said nasty things about you..his wife! He didn't think of your feelings or your marriage while being unfaithful! You deserve happiness! You deserve better! PUT YOURSELF FIRST!! …he sure as hell didn't put you 1st!! Don't sell yourself short financially. He cheated.
I've been contemplating how to best respond here, because your anger is palpable. And if I am being honest, it's actually pretty gross.
You aren't angry that your GF has sent nudes to other guys. You are angry that she hasn't sent them to you, and since she is YOUR GF, you feel entitled to them.
“she'd rather give strangers and people she didn't know in the past nudes but not the man she loves?”
“But my manhood just keeps getting stepped on”
“They have a photo of her while I don't”.
You are angry because she won't send them to you, and that has wounded your ego.
And now YOU want to talk about it, and express your anger & frustration, when she has already made it clear that she doesn't want to talk about it. What good will talking about it do? What do you want to achieve by talking about it?
To cap it off, you keep pressing her to know who these other guys are “so I can do something about it”. What exactly does “do something about it” look like? What exactly do you want to do, to those guys?
She confided in you that she appreciates you for not objectifying her, so what do you do? Get your knickers in a knot and take the whole thing as an insult towards your “manhood”.
This has NOTHING to do with you. It happened before you.
Get therapy to deal with this rage.
Check her post history:
“Can hotels share info about their guests and check ins? Say hypothetically if a wife wanted to find out the amt of people her husband checked in with at a hotel, would she be able to by calling the front desk?”
Looking at the timeline and this previous post being 7 months old, I wouldn't be surprised her “partner” is married and she is his side piece and she is aware of it all. Probably fantasizing he will leave his wife for her while he just wants sex with a 19yo.
It requires a certain amount of detachment to be able to do a FWB. Suggest you don't “talk to him about this” because if he's like most people in a FWB your feelings just aren't something he wants to deal with. Talking about jealousies like this takes the relationship outside the realm of the meaningless sex it's supposed to be.
This guy needs help and he shouldn’t be with anyone right now. Honestly, check your stuff because he could be a thief and projecting his guilt onto this situation. Or, he could be traumatized by previously getting with someone who did steal things from him. Either way, you should see that this situation is not okay and distance yourself from this person. His reaction to his mistrust for you is worrying. This is controlling behavior and it’s not okay.
There are plenty of men who will not act the way he’s acting, and you deserve to be with one of them, not this guy.
Did you ask her why?
Pack a bag and leave now. Nothing excuses this whatsoever and , as others have said here, you aren't safe with this person.
Yes depending on the country like 90% of the population have oral herpes.
It's usually dormant but ocasionally causes sores in the mouth.oftentimes when one is stressed or recuperating from disease when the immune system is weak.
Many many people inherit oral herpes from their parents or people around them. Remember how babies are often kissed? That's how it happens.
I don’t have the bandwidth either. It’s horrible! Was not looking for this.
Er, no you can't fix this. Leave before she does anything worse.
You have a very big problem with misplacing your empathy with someone who is clearly unwell and taking advantage of you.
You look after yourself and put yourself first. Please don’t go down this road of misery. You are the one that needs a little gentle therapy to see why you are unable to see it for what it is, you are able to recognise everyone else is concerned for you.
If you can have a few days away from the situation to let it sink in that would be great, I wish you all of the strength and things will get better.
You need to divorced like yesterday, you had doubts before marriage already and you are suicidal, it's time, it's really time. As a typical narcissist he surely isolated you from family and friends already, but you have to reach out to everybody who listens. He doesn't love you he isn't even capable of that.
Strong disagree here. She’s right to be offended.
It is a big red flag but it comes with a silver lining that you are owning what you did and recognizing that that it’s not ok and you want to change.
I would call that an anger management problem and it’s a problem that I previously had until I got help for it. I considered myself “a rock “ for how I was always calm but in times of high stress I would explode like you did. I got help by going to a therapist and he taught me that anger can be valid but how you express it is important. You don’t need to yell, insults, or hit things. It can be expressed calmly. He also taught me an emotional awareness exercise where I word stop every 30 minutes and think about how I felt, ask myself why did I feel that way? Was it valid to feel that way? What should I do next? Change how I feel? Continue? How should I express my emotions?
Doing that For a couple weeks allowed me to become more aware of how I felt and recognize when I was about to lose control and change how I works react.
Not every tool works for every person and every therapist is different. Therapists are there to help you solve problems in your life and often that involves teaching you tools to solve them yourself.
Lol, I had to go back to check the ages. So inappropriate for a 27yo.
Look at it this way: all your life you have been living by monogamous paradigms. This was a check-in to see if you wanted something different or if you were adopting these paradigms by choice instead of because society didn't give you alternative scripts.
You said you didn't want anything else, and are blowing this kind of out or proportion by holding yourself back from being affectionate. I don't think your husband wanted to hurt you, nor was he trying to.
I think maybe you should have a conversation about how this conversation made you feel, because burying those feelings and being distant is the fastest way for you to end a marriage that by all means was working for you before this. Grown-ups talk about things when they're hurt, they don't withdraw.
Oh girl it’s game time!!
Ask him if he likes pina coladas … and walks in the rain.
Your answer for “Why do you care about her feelings?” Should have been “Why don't you care about mine?”
Anything other than her just doing it and being chill about it shows she is insecure and jealous. It was such a simple act to help your coparenting relationship that it should have been completely trivial.
As a bad texter myself, I feel like he's just a bad texter.
Easy math would say a contribution proportionate to income would be 25/75. If you can’t come to a reasonable compromise don’t buy the house together and see what other living arrangements might work for you all.
I don’t know him personally, but when I was a 25 year old male this would have made sense to me to say something like this. I’m 35 now and fully understand how bills beat my ass every month. Just have a mature conversation about your income differences.
It does not. If you want to cherry pick then there are exponentially more non age gap abusive relationship posts every day than ones that are age gaps.
It’s not the money. He does actively make me into a better person
I’m really sorry, that’s a terrible feeling. Did she give a reason? You may not find comfort in this just yet but I promise you deserve a better fit in your relationship and it is out there for you! This woman clearly wasn’t compatible if she is going to dip after one emotional incident without even attempting to discuss things with you.
I hope you take some time to think about everyone’s advice since you did come to this sub for it. You owe it to yourself to find an outlet for those negative emotions so that this situation doesn’t repeat itself the next time your trauma is triggered.
How do y'all find these losers? Astounding. And then some of you end up marrying them still. Buckwild. Get a new boyfriend, OP. Brown eyes are magnificent and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Rare does not equal ideal.
Keep the dog, get rid of him- why does he get any say in your ownership of a dog? You don’t even live near each other, nevermind together.
It seems she got a car out of this dumpster fire of a relationship. This is the real her, honeymoon is over.
She cheated on you while you're in residency, of all times? Absolute POS
I’m clearly in the minority here but I also would want to know if my partner is still close with people they’ve had sex with. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that had fucked a bunch of their friends.
If you’re willing to give them another chance for your husband’s sake, you and your husband should discuss clear boundaries beforehand. Make a plan to immediately leave if your boundaries are violated. Your husband can communicate these to his parents as terms for meeting beforehand. He should also suggest that his parents apologize for how they’ve treated you if they’re really set on making amends. Ultimately, as long as your husband has your back, I think it’s okay to try again if you’re up for it. If you’re not, tell your husband how you’re feeling and have him see them alone. He can communicate that you’re not comfortable based on your history and that if his parents want to remain in his life they will have to accept you and work on making amends, but you’re not ready yet and he supports your decision to keep some distance until they’ve proven themselves.
Record her and show her when she is sober, take it further and share it while visiting her family.
Yeah I'm doing that right now and I know it's valid to hold that boundary. I just feel bad because I know he's in a bad situation but it's also a situation of his own making.
Can you go to couples counseling?
Can you go to couples counseling?
She said in the post that she made invitations and the group chat is to try and organize a potluck. Everyone already knows where and when. That’s all he feels is necessary and he has told her that. She isn’t listening. I’ve done big camping trips before and trying to organize that many people is an exercise in futility and kind of ruins the fun. It’s better that everyone just be responsible for themselves. Bring their own camping stuff, bring their own food, bring their own drinks and everyone can just hangout, drink, talk laugh and roast marshmallows and shit. Great fun.
Been trying to talk to my therapist about my situation but she’s been booked, which is why I came to Reddit in the mean time. Will be more urgent with her scheduling
he cant switch it off. if i could switch mine off i wouldve done it decades ago
Yeah, sex.