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In answer to “what do I do?” 1) Leave bf now. 2) Report pedo cousin to the police
I don’t plan on getting married again or ever settling down so it doesn’t matter
r/retroactivejealousy
Cause he wants you to feel bad so that later you can “make it up to him” by sending him nudes or coming to his house or whatever he wants.
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He’s mentioned it multiple times before, but never went further. We live in an old mobile home trailer and we have more than enough money combined to buy a house together and give our dog a backyard, future kids somewhere nice, etc.
Our walls have holes in every room, the heater broke so we run space heaters, the floor is sinking, but there’s water and electric. I just can’t run the vacuum cleaner or an air fryer with the heater on because it’ll trip the breaker.
I have always seen peoples houses with colored walls and the ice cube fridges and a pantry. Where the walls meet the floor there’s no gaps or holes or cracks, their countertop isn’t all tore up with cut marks from previous tenants and you don’t find mysterious ancient bed bug colonies you hope don’t come back to life. I want to never see insulation or wood countertop ever again. I want real furniture and a kitchen with a painted wall. I want a real house.
We’ve been together for three years and he said he’ll never marry me because marriage is dumb to him but he’s talked about a house before.
He spends money on junk cars and trucks, puts wheels and a grill on them and calls them modified and then they sit there with no insurance and no tags. Doesn’t even fix them first. He spends ridiculous amounts of money on tools that he’ll never use, audio parts he plans on fabricating in later, and food.
He won’t eat my salmon with baked potatoes and broccoli, or my spaghetti, or my stir fry, my pork chops, my sauerkraut. He’ll eat chicken nuggets if I make them but most of all, he wants to eat out at Texas Roadhouse instead and then blames me for spending his money when I didn’t want to eat out in the first place.
I do all the cooking, cleaning, go to the laundromat because the floor won’t support a washer and dryer, do all the shopping, gifts for his family, dishes you name it. He works and plays.
We both have full time jobs. We can afford it if he puts his money towards it as well. He doesn’t care whether or not he lives in a shithole with nowhere to put all of his trash. It’s getting hoarded in here.
How do I convince him to move into somewhere better for us?
nah yall are just fackin gross and got some fake ahh loyalty
Specifically it's called negging, it's one of the most common abuser tactics.
Would you ever want your kids to be in this situation? They will learn that this dynamic and relationship is alright. That it's alright for mum to be hurt, and for dad to be a dick.
If you really love him, maybe some time apart will make him realise how much you mean to him, but you should get out of there.
I mentioned the kids to prove a point, but I'm sure you also deserve so much more, all the best op. I hope it works out.
Well my husband is a stay at home father, and doesn't work at all. When we first got together even before we got married we had talked about how it would be. That if we ever got to the point where we didn't both have to work that he would be the one to stay at home while I worked.
I think the biggest hurdle you have to overcome is is it that you personally have an issue with it or that society tells you you should have a problem with it?
If you and your wife are OK with the situation then Don stress over it. It really doesn't matter who makes more money as long as you are both happy and the bills are paid.
A gift with conditions isn't a gift, it's an obligation.
Also it was bought with shared finances? so she only got him half an xbox.
I grew up with a disabled sister in a situation very much like yours. Your girlfriend is not an understanding or caring person. Please do not let her behavior or words change how you treat your sister. Be there for your sister and continue to love her and help her. Your girlfriend can either get used to it and learn to accept that you are caring for your sister or she can leave.
I’m ok with living together if we already have a date for getting married. However, I do not feel comfortable living together with my bf without a firm commitment for marriage because I strongly believe that it’s just playing house. I agree that it’s important to spend time overnight or on short trips with your partner to see what they are like in their natural environment. I stay over 2 weekends a month and sometimes for a week. Living together even if we are engaged just makes the point of marriage pretty much moot and it’ll mean that we probably won’t end up getting married anytime soon since we already have done “everything”. I don’t care about a wedding, more having a lifelong commitment which is what marriage represents. Living together without marriage clearly on the horizon hence makes me uncomfortable
Project much?
But she should get over it for him! HA! The audacity
She has trauma from cheating and it ruined her family. While she probably needs to discuss that with a therapist to get over it, you should respect it until she does. What she said wasn't wrong though. She told you what she thought and not the choice is up to you. Do you respect her wishes or do you leave her? I guess it depends on how important having female friends is to you.
Sounds like you realised your requirements, don't mesh with her personality. That is a compatibility problem.
Maybe you feel guilty because you can't meet her desires but frustration because she can't yours.
For starters My man has a history of being unfaithful and dishonest. Lies when the truth is right in front of him. He gaslights.
I couldn't stopped reading here. I'm sorry but you need to grow some balls, get some respect for yourself, and leave this piece of shit. You've let this man be unfaithful (cheat?) and treat you like shit for five years, and now he's trying to fuck your friend. That sucks – but you have let him be unfaithful for years, why would he stop now?
Please PLEASE respect yourself and LEAVE HIM and never contact him again.
Nah nah nah you were smoking weed, not crack. Judgment is suspect, maybe more emotionally vulnerable, but you weren't seeing things.
Plus you're a frequent smoker, so you know what it feels like when your perception is screwy.
I am not sure I would get hung up on the entire broken “deal” a lot of commenters are pointing out, it was a decade ago, things change and you certainly change so much in your 20's. He might well have intended to move back, when he said that as a 23 year old.
I certainly see both sides and it's really a lose a lose situation. He is happy where he is and happy at the workplace he is at. Taking a paycut never feels great and especially when you would earn less money in total moving back compared to you finding another job there. Now some might say money isn't the most important thing there is and while I agree to some degree I think it should be a big factor in your decision making personally. Life is only gonna get more expensive.
Someone mentioned moving back yourself and that certainly could work, but feels more like a bandaid solution as I can't see what's gonna change in that time. One of you might miss the other so much that you decide you would rather live where the other lives.
We don't indulge in substances. We're both extremely athletic so we have never been into it T_T
People do wrong things all the time fella, it's unfortunate, but it's true. Talk it through with your therapist and hopefully you'll come out of this a little wiser.
why a 61 year old man would do this?
You know why he's doing it.
The better question is, why would a 60 year old woman tolerate this?