Hey, I’m not a ton older than you, and when I was 18 I was pursued by a man roughly your BF’s age. I thought I was so grown and such an adult. Nearly a decade later, closer to his age than my own at the time, I want to vomit thinking of how naive and inexperienced I was, and how much BS I tolerated because that older man told me it was normal, that I was overacting. Now that I’m closer to his age, I can’t imagine being interested in someone my age at the time I met him. Makes me a bit sick to think of.
Your bf is absolutely using you because you are young, sexually willing, and easy to manipulate. You’re young, run for the hills and go find someone closer to your age. I always dated slightly older (1-3 years) in my 20’s until I turned 25, and it honestly set me up for success as I came out of “young adult” and in to regular ass “adult” age range. Get yourself out of this and don’t waste your youth with someone that needs to fuck teenagers.
As a good tool to spot red flags going forward, given to me by an older woman in a bar once. It’s never steered me wrong: Basically, adults NEVER tell other adults that they perceive as social equals how mature they are. That is ONLY said by adults to those they perceive as children. A man that says “you’re so mature for your age!” And is significantly older than you (AND is hitting on you) is trying to manipulate you by making you feel like you’re “not like the other girls”.
It's bizarre and possibly telling that you don't mention anything about the impact of this nightmare on your (apparently) multiple children who are living in the same house.
There is no smart advice that involves you staying in this shitshow. Get a lawyer (and a therapist) (and a family therapist) and cut contact.
You two sound like way too much work and maintenance. The answer is for you two to be less unpleasant.
Hey, I’m not a ton older than you, and when I was 18 I was pursued by a man roughly your BF’s age. I thought I was so grown and such an adult. Nearly a decade later, closer to his age than my own at the time, I want to vomit thinking of how naive and inexperienced I was, and how much BS I tolerated because that older man told me it was normal, that I was overacting. Now that I’m closer to his age, I can’t imagine being interested in someone my age at the time I met him. Makes me a bit sick to think of.
Your bf is absolutely using you because you are young, sexually willing, and easy to manipulate. You’re young, run for the hills and go find someone closer to your age. I always dated slightly older (1-3 years) in my 20’s until I turned 25, and it honestly set me up for success as I came out of “young adult” and in to regular ass “adult” age range. Get yourself out of this and don’t waste your youth with someone that needs to fuck teenagers.
As a good tool to spot red flags going forward, given to me by an older woman in a bar once. It’s never steered me wrong: Basically, adults NEVER tell other adults that they perceive as social equals how mature they are. That is ONLY said by adults to those they perceive as children. A man that says “you’re so mature for your age!” And is significantly older than you (AND is hitting on you) is trying to manipulate you by making you feel like you’re “not like the other girls”.
It's bizarre and possibly telling that you don't mention anything about the impact of this nightmare on your (apparently) multiple children who are living in the same house.
There is no smart advice that involves you staying in this shitshow. Get a lawyer (and a therapist) (and a family therapist) and cut contact.