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Pretty much. Fantasy and reality are too complete opposites, but some people tend to fail to realize that
Have this discussion with her before her next breakdown to know where her head's at. Propose family and one-on-one therapy or make it known that you guys may need to start making preparations for separation. You don't deserve to get abused like this and she doesn't deserve to stay somewhere she doesn't want to be even if she's loved. If she wants this to work (for her, not for the kids) she has to work on her trauma because it will destroy you and your bond no matter how much you love her now. It has already started. You will no longer accept this treatment. She will acknowledge it and not pretend it never happened m
It's okay to not want to do something because it's very hot but you do it because it's right and what's best.
how long have you and your boyfriend been together?
You're never going to convince him because he's insecure and angry. He's gonna have to learn how to control his own brain and rationalize himself. That isn't your job.
You don't have to tell me that. I work in forensics. A lot of local murder cases come through the university lab I work in.
I've just never really cared. I go to the beach at night too even though it is known to be populated by crackheads. When I was a kid, I used to walk through the woods at night just because. Nothing has ever happened to me.
I do highly recommend using toys to help fill that fantasy, but I also recommend it to friends in general, so I may not be the best person to weigh in on this.
I do find it alarming she suggested the person she slept with while you were on a break and idk if I could trust that she wasn’t using the threesome as a way to relieve guilt and wanting to cheat with “approval”.
Honestly if there isn’t healthy communication and it’s not something OP can get past it would be better to just end things rather than try to force it and waste their time. It’s understandable to not feel desire but it’s not gonna get better unless you have the hot conversations and make sure you’re on the same page.