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Dear God…was she trying to get picked up? Probably not! Maybe she’s proud of her butt. As long as she’s not doing it for someone else, act like an adult. It’ll work out better in the end for the two of you. Good luck! ??
Maybe it's her Christmas spending savings?
just leave silently not worth explaining to him how he hurt you because he should know what he's doing is wrong
Don’t tell anybody. Duh ? id definitely be investing and get it all tied up.
I dated a millionaire. I fell in love with that millionaire. I had no idea he was a millionaire… when I found out about 1.5 years into our relationship, he changed. He showed a different side of him. To a point that I fell out of love and had to break it off after one more year. It was truly the hardest breakup of my life (I was early 20s) because I mourned the loss of my best friend who basically showed his true colors when I wasn’t expecting it. What I’m trying to say is that the easiest way is to just be yourself and don’t tell them anything. Show it in a respectful time when the moment is right, when you know you can count on them. I was attracted to my ex because he was passionate and considerate, not because he could afford a steak dinner every night. Good luck!
If your partner is feeling down and trying to talk to you about it and your priority is not said partner I would see that as a huge red flag personally.
So he can be cruel to you, but you can’t be cruel to him? How does that work?
great questions!! yes. when i asked him to breakfast, i specifically said “i wanted to see if i could take you out on a breakfast date as a late birthday celebration”. he immediately said yes, which kind of surprised me (mostly just because i tend to doubt myself in these situations). i told him that if that was not something that he was interested in, i totally understand, but i had really worked up the courage to finally ask him! so he definitely knows that.
second… that is quite the story. to make a very long story short, we started dating at 15 and 17. once i left for college, things got really rocky. we both had wrongdoings where trust was lost because neither of us had dated anyone before and didn’t know how to handle the relationship with the big life events that we went through. we spent almost a full year apart, two months of which i had another (not serious) boyfriend. i quickly realized how much i missed him and we started speaking again. i truthfully see him as my soulmate and the only person who knows me for me and makes me feel most comfortable to be myself. it’s nude to tell sometimes, but i think he feels the same way but is just very scared of either of us getting hurt again. i appreciate and respect his caution because he truly does not want to hurt me, which is why things are moving so slow. while i understand it, this is very difficult for me sometimes because i just have that gut feeling with him. i really wanted to get him something that says “i’m serious about this relationship” and let’s him know that i’m in this for the long run.
then say it boo why u gatekeepin
¡Sí, me gusta bailar sobre hielo!
You took the words right out of my mouth.
You’re offended by a phrase that means avoid having sex with crazy people?
…so did they stay married after they found out? ?
No one cheats by “accident” he chose to drink, he chose to go back to a girls house and he very much chose to have sex with her.
Probably best for you to move on. Forgiving means not bringing it up again and not holding them to past mistakes. Forgiving is 100 times harder than just finding someone new. It’s up to you weather you stay or not but please hear me when I say this, if you stay, you have to let it go and give him a clean slate. Forgiving means just that, forgive and move on. It’s harder than it sounds.
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What caused you to move to separate beds and no sex?
I forgot to mention we have talked about it and I'm very easy going. I understand that she has issues with driving. I don't give her a nude time so I don't want it to see as so. However, she used to do some driving, and now it's like 0% of driving unless I hagle her about it. She just brought up she was in a car wreck, and I understand that. I've been in a couple myself. It's just tough when I feel like I'm doing everything
So that means she's had two periods since intercourse. That wouldn't happen if she was pregnant.
We wrere really happy for like 8/9 months. I made many mistakes that she'd get angry about and that I'd fix to make her happy, and that was working out. She'd tell me about her problems and I'd tell her mine, we supported and helped each other. Ever since a month or so she stopped talking about…deeper subjects, how she was really feeling, what was going through her mind. She just got colder and colder from there, while our once small arguments turned into fights that could make us ignore each other for an entire day. I really really tried my best to make her feel like when we started this relationship again, but I dont think I ever managed to.
Okay, break up with her.
Your boyfriend can’t even legally drink if you live in the United States and you’ve been richer for less than a year— you don’t even know if you’re compatible living together. Do not under any circumstances purposefully bring a baby into this relationship; even though he’s an adult, your boyfriend is still a teenager. Do you think he’s ready to be a dad? Do you genuinely think you’re ready to be a mom? Your life has literally only just started.
Listen to your heart. It's not that big of an age gap.
While the amount he’s spending on his friend it a flag, honesty you’ve been together for 13 months and out of work for 6. If it’s bad enough for your car to get repossessed he may not want to tangle his finances with yours. It’s a very valid reason to no loan you money that honestly he will probably never see again.
yeah. these people have so much power. thanks for your input!
What’s wrong with having male friends and hanging out with them if you’re female?
I'm sorry you feel that way. ?
Time to be a man and tell her the truth. If you love her as you say you do, lying has no place in the relationship. You have no relationship if there is no trust. Why burden her with a lie? Tell her the truth, you have a poor prognosis but she deserves what a caring loving person offers – lying has no place there. And please, don’t blame her or play it as there’s something wrong with the relationship. This medical issue is a third party which has created the problem – not you and not her.
Sorry about your prognosis, wish you well.
You need to divorce ASAP. It's clear he only wants to stay together so he can inherit everything when you go. Do you really want to live out the rest of your life in this situation? Just go. Go and find your peace and happiness. You 100% deserve it and don't let anyone convince you otherwise
He needs to be in therapy. You do not need to enable him. Unless he is in therapy and making an effort to heal himself, then I'd be out the door.
Well it could be nonCP and just a very young looking person.
Well, then, I guess he gets to do whatever he wants.
Agree. And it is not what bf said. What he said is that beauty is not the most important thing.
WTF. Girl. You know. This isn’t a good relationship.
Frankly shocked how many people are defending this. While the performers are most likely legal adults, unless you follow the performers' careers, you can't be fully confident the young person in the video is of legal age. And even if they are, the fact that they're playing with the fantasy of the person being 13-19 year old, it turns my stomach.
I would not trust a man who fantasizes and lusts after teenagers.
Also, free porn streaming websites have a huge problem of downright illegal content slipping through the cracks so I just feel extremely iffy about people streaming some morally questionable porn when it's not uploaded by a verified account. Just think of revenge porn.
You're perfectly entitled to feeling hurt, and wishing things had gone differently. However, so no lose sight of you own choices here. Whilst he didn't say stop as I can't give you what you need, nor did you say stop, you're not giving me what I need.
So, feeling hurt is legitimate, but take it as a lesson. Don't give up your own desires and needs for hope unless you are willing for the hope not to be fulfilled (and sometimes, going with hope is the right thing to do, so don't let this kill that flame).
“Having kids is not a reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship.”
Very good point.
Do you really want to stay with someone who not only had a 6 month affair but is also actively trying to cheat on you again? Leave this relationship now. And tell everyone why. She’s unfaithful and a liar ? who doesn’t deserve you covering for her.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the time you've taken to share your experience and advice.
I wonder if that idea was planted from someone else. It's seems a little strange to be focused on since it's his parents and 10 minutes of research would produce solutions. Did he have concerns with long term expenses related to having kids? Could his parents have gave him the idea that marrying anyone would risk the house? Perhaps an antimarriage friend or podcast?
I can see why it would be hurtful, but I something makes me think the fear of risking the home is with marriage as a whole, not marrying personally.
I’m not sure if you are intentionally overlooking my meaning or not…
It could be that OP is being forceful as a means of mandating a conversation, causing wife to throw up from the resulting stress.
If wife does not want to engage in a conversation whether it be at that time or forever, then that conversation is now the least of their worries.
OP, I have a talker for a spouse and I've had to learn how to navigate that (and you can too!). The problem here is your husband has his own unspoken expectation that you always have to be “on.” He expects you to be emotionally and physically available for these monologues at any time, and that's impossible. If you don't put up some boundaries and if your husband doesn't respect those boundaries, that exhaustion you feel will curdle into resentment. That can be nude now because you've probably spent a couple of years acceding to this, thinking you're being a good partner. But it will absolutely wear you down.
Someone who talks a lot can unintentionally make you feel as if you don't matter. That you're just sitting around waiting for them to start talking. I'd share with him how it makes you feel. It's not all about his feelings. And it's not all about how you're feeling in the moment about a particular topic (though that's of course valid too). It's about the expectations and burdens this puts on you. Marriage is about compromise. How would your husband respond if you insisted on putting on a 2-hour movie every single day that he had to sit through and watch, whether he felt like it or not, whether he wanted to or not, whether it interested him or not? Just because you love him doesn't mean you have the capacity to listen to his monologues. No one does, it's exhausting!
tl; dr—he has expectations of you and you're not a bad or unloving spouse for enforcing boundaries
This post makes me cry because I really feel I am in this same boat. At the moment I am gathering up evidence that points to my wife (relationship of 7 years, married for 11 with two kids) having interest emotionally and possibly sexually with her lifelong friend that lives out of province. He visits town to see friends and family a couple times a year, so I am waiting patiently to see how this upcoming “lunch date” or whatever the fuck you call it when two married people flirt live and then meet up in person. It is killing to wait but I know that any conversation about my concern will just lead to denying what I suspect. As a human in survival mode would do. We have a whole life together and I fear that her concerns about fucking things up will never amount to her being truthful about her feelings with this other prick!
But she told me her husband knows. She us just ashamed and says she needs wait until the process is all done so we can officially be together.
Seriously. My dad is neat and tidy, an excellent Sportsball coach, and brunch chef de cuisine. Having that every day? I don’t even have words to describe the levels of awesome.
honey thats all the red flags you need to pack-up & leave. Thats all cheaters red flags.
What you describe are not “cultural differences”. Your boyfriend is insecure feels inferior to you and trying to make money with (possibly illegal) side-hustles and uses his “background” as an excuse. Stop being his counselor, therapist and mother and let him figure this out on his own. I wouldn't go visit again until he's on the straight and arrow. You don't want to get sucked into his “culture”… He's 23, he should know better but he's trying to achieve money and fame through “short cuts”.
I wouldn't really be going around calling people uneducated when your dating life is an embarrassing dumpster fire 🙂
Unless he’s willing to go no contact, I would break up. You will be arguing your entire life if you have kids because he will want to take them to his parents and you know they won’t be safe there. Would he take them over behind your back?
Is this how you want to live your life?
She says it’s nothing to really do with me personally but it’s more of it happens too often that she’s feeling used
Just let her go. Whenever this happens it means that she has issues that need to be resolved in therapy. It never ends well. Find a woman who isn't at odds with her sexuality especially if you have a high libido. It isn't selfish to know what you want out of a relationship.
1) What a divorced adult man does of his life/sexual life is none of your business.
2) If he goes to see landscapes or an 18yo prostitute crotch is entirely up to him and you are not entitled an opinion regarding that.
3) You wont even travel with him, this trully doesnt affect you at all.
You and your partner are both deserving of love and respect in a partnership. There are no villains, and if you decide to keep trying, then I respect that, and truly appreciate the kindness, compassion, and forgiveness you harbor within your soul.
However, you must know it’s not wrong to leave. A partnership is a steady building of trust until both parties can communicate so openly and freely that their sense of self extends beyond and binds with another (or others, if poly)… and colloquially, he’s taken three major strikes at any trust that’s been built.
Ask yourself what was, what’s left, and what can be built from here.
Colloquially, he’s already struck out.