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>>The only thing that really annoys me is when I try to communicate with them when their actions hurt my feelings. It’s difficult, because I feel that I end up needing to put my hurt aside and comfort them because they are uncontrollably crying and I feel like I did something wrong.
Nope! Just because they are crying doesn't mean you have to stop everything & comfort them. What they are doing, intentionally or not, is called derailing — ie, changing the issue from your thing to their thing. You don't “need” to put your hurt aside & comfort them — that is your incorrect mindset. You haven't done anything wrong by raising an issue. What you can do, in the moment, is ackowledge their feelings, refuse to reward their behavior with attention, and insist (once they've calmed down) that you are going to revisit your own issues.
I feel like the rules need to be reestablished and clarified. But this all happened because we began being controlling from the beginning. She didn't like that I talked to Emily. And so in spite, I told her to stop talking to her guy friend. Which was toxic of me to do. But I realized that what I asked her to do was toxic, so I told her that it was ok to talk with him again and I wouldn't be mad. But she insisted that its fine and it doesn't matter anymore.
Hon, just because he comes from a nice family doesn't mean he's a nice person. You sound like you are in an abusive relationship. He is emotionally abusing you. You do not deserve this treatment and the things he is saying are not true. You can do better than this nasty little boy.