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Awww, I see that you're not going to take my request to heart. It's a shame. You have the resources to not be shitty, yet are reluctant to do any sort of work.
I do find it very funny that you're trying to be condescending towards me. I take it that you don't like being put your place by a savage American. (My god! Americans can read and put together a cogent argument! What else have they kept from you!?) As I see that you have no actual rejoinders other than to attempt to insult me in the most pathetic and juvenile way, we have nothing more to discuss. You have the right to be a piece of shit, but know the rest of us have right to not be around you. Don't be surprised when you find yourself alone.
First of all, I’d like to point out that a school is not just a school, it does matter where you get your education from.
You sound very selfish and self centered. I almost sense that you’re having his baby to lock him down so that you can have him all for yourself. He has a daughter, of course he’s going to prioritize her! You should’ve known that before getting involved with him. Work on yourself and grow up please, your son needs a mother.
Why do I have this feeling, that you are full of shit, and you did sleep with this guy while in a relationship with your fiancé?
Maybe send him the end post of this post. He shouldn't be so easy swayed as soon as the pastor mentions an idea. Also if you aren't comfortable talking about that part of your relationship, let the pastor know he needs to move to the next subject. Stay firm in your boundaries while still letting fiance know you are there for him.
Lol why would you even be using the internet if you dont want to be exposed to the culture of the world?
You're part of it, Help us Lord
asking for sex one way or another isnt an unreasonable boundary
This is very complicated tbh, cause I do understand that not everyone has the same beliefs yet can still care about each other, but I do get you, he's your best friend and let you down in the most important day of your life.
Now the controversial thing I'm going to say here and will probably get a lot of downvotes, I wouldn't have ended the friendship over that. And you clearly didn't “have” to do it, you had a choice. Still, it's You life and only you kno if it's worth to end a friendship of 12 years just like that
i'm not sure but i dont think so since he's being so cold over how sick his friend is. the fact that his friend is in pain and might even die and he's not even asking about him or checking on him made him seem heartless to me
Wow, what an asshole of a co-worker!
I thought the same thing, suuuuper gut wrenching, but THIS was the beginning. But the sooner she leaves this, the better for her.
And yep, if she stays, ouuuuch to the unhappiness she’s going to experience, in the every moment he is away, the wasted time in what is he doing.
I haven’t tried to date yet, and am not sure I will I am 46 and have been either LTR or married for 30+ yrs of that. I won’t lie and say even from reads that men my age are available and aren’t doing the same things.
I just know people don’t deserve this. Her husband comfortably would have kept this going had she not come across it thankfully.
And then he’s either not strong enough to cave to working peers giving peer pressure or he wanted to do this. Either aren’t great for her.
And then I’m like when you do things like this, how are his peers from work supposed to treat her at the Christmas party if he couldn’t even keep his dick in his pants. Like what are cheating people thinking. I don’t get it.
Premium kid behaviour! I laughed out loud
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Yeah, my fiance was like this. Depression from losing your job hits very hot and a lot of people experienced it during the pandemic.
I suggest telling him to get help but also tell him this isn't the lifestyle your want for yourself, OP. Don't need to make threats, just statements.
I am also on the spectrum, and if I had a partner who did this to me, I would do the same thing. I think if anything, it was a fight or flight response. You were triggered and you act accordingly. Not saying that hitting is a good thing, it’s not, it’s just a natural response.
Also why are you with someone who actively triggers you to get a reaction out of you? If it were me, that’s a deal breaker for me.
youre literally giving excuses for him.
If youre staying for the child, dont. That's HIS responsibility. his responsibility to be better for the child and to be good to you.
Whether or not he continues to act like this is on him.
Whether or not you continue to stay is on you.
My dude … acording to the comments I think youre being played.
Like cmon. The SA guy can go uninvited but you cant? Yeah no…
Saaaaaaame, it’s super-icky as well as poorly-constructed.
He probably had his food purposely sent to your apartment so he could have contact with you. It is creepy and if your gut is telling you that then be careful and observant about him.
na this is about another woman, plain and simple. IM a guy and agree with the girlfriend in this instance. I suppose the guy would be fine with his gf hitting the gym with a much older man and then hell lets do lunch too.
She wants to fk the guy. File for divorce
If you've agreed that free porn is fine, is it the money that bothers you? Or are you concerned he's developing a relationship with them? Because paying for porn feels like the more ethical choice, but cheating would be a problem.
Her income should be based on the income she is guaranteed- overtime is not always an option. Split 50/50 and leave the headache.
We were back in Russia and after the war started to propell I escaped and then she followed. Now in Armenia. The main expenses here is rent which is twice as it was back in Ru, the rest is comparable (+10% I guess) apart of meds
I told her I heard her talking about me and that what she was saying wasn’t true and why she was saying that stuff and all she said was “we will work on it later” What should I do?
“Looking forward to it – I have booked us in with a marriage counsellor as I think it's important for us to work through this issue with a professional.”
Oh, and no, I didn't say you're not committed. But if you're doing the same as OP's husband and hiding it from your partner, you're a sleazebag.
I guess people think he’s neurodivergent because this is exactly the experience of a lot of neurodivergent people…
I’m on the spectrum, I got masking down to a T so I appear pretty neurotypical in most settings. But I struggle a lot with relationships and generally I am not a popular person. Got excluded from a lot of things over the years, had friends indulge in my hobbies without inviting me, have my offers of help constantly turned down, etc. Those who don’t know me well enough or love me don’t see why this is happening, they all think I’m great. Which is fantastic, I do love these people. But the majority of people I encounter simply just don’t vibe with me since I can’t 100% behave the way a neurotypical person would. It sucks, but such is life.
This is a thing that bothers me about so many women. How easily they allow other people to influence them. You've explained at length what a great guy he is and how happy he makes you but just because he doesn't tend to connect well with others you let that get in your head and influence how YOU perceive him.
Ironically that might be exactly the sort of problem he keeps running into.
And if he's aware of this problem as you seem to imply, he likely tends to come on a bit too strong/eager as a way of overcompensation and that can put people off as well.
Ironically I have the opposite “condition”. I'm deeply introverted and wish to high heaven that 99% of the human species would just leave me the eff alone….yet people often seem drawn to me even when I explicitly try to act standoffish, curt, and uninterested.
And I don't have nearly as much going for me as your BF does. Stop letting other people's views influence your own.
If this is something you think you can comfortably discuss there is a suggestion you can make that might help your BF make friends more easily. It took my years to figure this out but it fits so much of my life experience and observation that I think it perfectly explains why my efforts to be standoffish have the opposite effect.
Ironically I figured this out because of a really snotty, arrogant little cat I own. This cat helped me figure out something about women, and about people in general. She's a good cat…even if she was also an evil little demon bitch.
This cat was VERY anti-social for the first couple years I had her. When all my early attempts at affection got me clawed up and bloodied I learned to mostly just ignore her. Feed her, water her, clean her litterbox and otherwise ignore her. Any attempt at physical contact would almost always result in either her running and hiding, or attacking. So I just ignored her. I considered getting rid of her at a No-Kill shelter but figured a cat that hostile would inevitably get dumped at another shelter by whoever took her in…and they might not care enough to make sure that wherever they dumped her was also a No-Kill shelter.
Over the years though she started gradually getting closer to me. Physically I mean. She'd lurk in whatever room I was in. Then on a stray peice of laundry I left on the floor. Then near my bed. Then on my bed. Then she'd literally sleep beside my keyboard when I was working on the computer.
Throughout all this I would STILL get savagely mauled if I tried to pet her. And sometimes she'd reflexively attack my hand just for pushing a button near her while sleeping beside my keyboard.
Not gonna lie, that earned her a good good smacks. I'll put up with being mauled when I'm the one violating her boundaries but i'll be damned if i'm gonna have to go bandage my hands just because she wakes up startled when she was the one creeping ever closer into MY space.
Eventually she moved from near my keyboard to my lap, and now even as I type this she's practically draped over my like a damn fur blanket.
One day i was just looking at her and musing over how affectionate she was toward me when I had literally done nothing but ignore her for years. It made me reminisc back to my dating life in my twenties and a brief stint of about half a year I spent being “a bad boy”. A womanizer.
It was after i'd basically been used, exploited, and repeatedly cheated on throughout my late teens and early twenties, no matter how very hot I tried to be everything TV told me a good man is supposed to be: Caring, open, affectionate, sensitive, attentive…blah blah blah.
And the whole time i'm doing my best to be the perfect ideal of “a good man” i'm watching all my sleazebag family members and friends/aquaintances easily get multiple girls who are way out of their league practically crawling on their hands and knees to be with them despite the fact that they were all jobless losers with criminal records longer than a porn star's bodycount. Many of those girls were cheating on good men to be with these jerks.
After years of being the nice guy who got cheated on, i had a rough breakup and got pissed. Not just at my Ex, but all my exes, and basically all women. The ones who I knew were cheating on good men with my “bad boy” loser family members and acquaintances. The ones who pretended to want good men and then snuck around with dirtbags.
To make a long story less long, I had more women in that 6-8 month time span than I ever had before or since. And they practically clubbed each other to death competing for me. And they were all out of my league.
And I felt like constant scummy filth. I hated myself. I couldn't keep being that kind of person. But it was very illuminating about human nature in general and looking at this cat I had ignored for years now desperate for my affection when she would have savaged me before made me remember that period of my life when all I did was go from trying my best to be a perfect guy to trying my best to be a total scumbag…and suddenly women that never would have given me the time of day were physically fighting over me.
And even now, today….when I just generally want to be left alone and behave in a cold, aloof, standoffish way….people go out of their way to try and befriend me.
It's annoying. But between my cat, my bad boy phase, and my current antisocial phase it kind of made me realize something…when you act aloof and disinterested it seems to trigger something in many people(and cats, lol) that makes them want to please you. That makes them want to feel worthy of you….even when by any objective standard they're actually “better” than you and more successful than you.
It's both hilarious, and sad. And one of the things that has made me just not want to be bothered with most of the human species today. lol
TLDR; Tell your boyfriend to stop trying so hard. If anything, tell him to act polite but otherwise uninterested in most people he meets and little by little some people will begin to go out of their way to try and “earn” his friendship…whether he wants them to or not.
I think she just did a deep dive because of her school project and learned things that she found interesting and wants to share. I don't see anything worrying about it. Be glad your girlfriend has intellectual curiosity; it's a good trait.
Humor her on this one. If it truly gets to be too much for you for whatever reason just ask her to stop discussing it with you. But there is nothing wrong with studying evil dictators and she'll likely lose interest in this particular subject soon enough.
You’re the side piece
For your own sanity and future, you should really end things with her. She needs to deal with some things before she is ready to date anyone, but the chances are she will continue to not deal with things and only get worse as time goes. God help you if you get her pregnant.
She's being abusive. If she threatens to hurt herself call the cops and have them admit her to a psych word. She'll think twice about manipulating you that way again. You were dating, you let her move in with you, and she felt comfortable enough to let the mask slip. Where I lived tenancy rules did not apply to a gf-bf situation. Get this woman out of your life now. Be thankful you didn't have kids with her. You'd be stuck dealing with this bullshit for 18 years