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I think there’s at least one app and a website to “teach” you how. I just remember it being mentioned in a podcast a while back. Not something I looked into, so I can’t help you beyond that, but the podcast was a legit medical/human biology/psychology podcast, not like Joe Rogan or anything stupid.
Nope. You're just finding excuses to stay because heartbreak is painful. Rip the bandaid off girl. It is black or white, he's done one of the taboos that you genuinely can never work out. This will be a stain on your relationship for the rest of your lives.
Your wife is literally self harming. Focus more on that as her husband, and less on how unappealing it is sexually. My faith in humanity dwindles more each day.
How can you not see the writing on the wall? This is supposed to be the honeymoon and love phase of the relationship. He is treating you like a side piece and squeezing you In between kids basketball games and running errands. He isn’t courting you like a future girlfriend. He’s 31 trying to get with a 22 year old because he’s a snake.
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That’s what my wife said I should have done yeah. I just didn’t see a problem with it before she pointed it out.
Exactly what it sounds like to me as well.
I don’t want to throw a relationship away, I just want her to stop doing these hurtful things
That's understandable. You thought you had a good relationship with a lovely person and you want that back. That totally makes sense!
But…
The thing is, just about everyone puts on a good face at the start of a relationship. If you'd gone out on a first date with her and she'd started a fight with someone and gotten mad at you for not taking her side, you wouldn't have gone on a second date. But when someone seems nice at first and shows toxic traits later, it's because those toxic traits were there all along and they did a good job of hiding them, not because they're actually nice and just happened to do something objectively horrible.
From what you've described, you wouldn't be throwing away a good relationship if you broke up. You'd be throwing away a bad one that disguised itself as a good one at the beginning.
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A bit of background information. My ex and I were together for two years. He had a child from a previous relationship, a child who acted bratty, disrespectful and assumed everyone was there to serve him. This is more than half of the reason we split. When my ex and I split, he moved out with his child and I stayed at our rental until the lease ended. We stayed in contact emotionally and physically, which I now realise was a bad idea. To the very hot part – I have now moved out of our rental and am trying to settle at my new place. My ex insists that we stay in contact; which I don’t mind; however is very pushy about us “being honest about our feelings”. He insists that we tell each other that we love each other because that’s how we feel; regardless of me telling him countless times I’m uncomfortable talking about it. I don’t want to hurt him even more, but I don’t know how to end this situation so I can move on.
TDLR; ex partner and I still love each other but I have no interest in being with him. He won’t stop pushing for me to “be honest” about my feelings and continues to text me telling me he loves and misses me, and insists I do the same even though it makes me uncomfortable. I want to move on.
It blows my mind that this dude can't understand this. I know 20 year olds are still basically children, but come on.
Internet mom here. I used to wonder why so many people with young children got divorced. It’s because you find out exactly who you married. So. It’s beyond unacceptable that he used his size to intimidate you. Not okay. In my marriage, my ex became really angry after our 2 kids because he never dealt with his horrific childhood. I foolishly believed him when he said he’d never do what was done to him. He didn’t but the bar was sooo low it was underground. I left for my kids. I didn’t have the right to raise boys that believed that it was acceptable to treat women as I was treated. I couldn’t raise a girl thinking this was what a good man looks like. Just my experience. But. It’s not childcare. It’s parenting. He wouldn’t last a week in your job. I’m not telling you to leave. I am saying that you have some red flags but you know that. I’m available to listen if you need an ear.
Sounds like some divorce lawyers will be getting paid in a couple years…
Thats not how that works!
You’re being ridiculously insecure. And he’s still watching porn, btw. And it’s not a value judgement on you in any way.
There's no medicine out there that can 100% guarantee no hair loss. Especially if his hair is already thinning.
Unless you're willing to cover all costs of this medicine, I'd just drop it. Men lose their hair as they age and it doesn't impact who they are as a partner.
Dude, the whole thing about liquor is it takes away inhibitions and often rational thought, even from people who might normally be trustworthy. If the other people are morally more loose (as is suggested) and perhaps are planning a night drinking/partying/whatever doesnt it then make more sense to just avoid that situation all together. I mean if she was with friends she could trust to keep an eye out for her, ok, but this seems like people who are exactly the opposites and who do might want to take advantage of the situation. I mean these are people who hook up with married people or people who just had a baby with a SO. This is definitely a case where the circumstances are less then ideal and can have an influence.
Bob is MESSY. Everyone should be cautious dealing with that one
Sweetheart, I totally understand why you are devastated. I would be too but I have to tell you something I have never told anyone face to face (I've mentioned on Reddit before) because I know how bad it sounds. I didn't fancy my husband at all at first. We met live! and met in person. I didn't like his photos but thought maybe he isn't photogenic. We met. I still didn't find him physically attractive BUT I love that man with all my heart and he has grown to be attractive to me. His personality is so perfect for me, who he is, how he makes me feel. He looks great in a suit and when he dresses for a night out. Physicality isn't important to me. It was the same with my last long term partner too. He is my husband and father to my boy and have an amazing sex life, you don't have to find someone sexy to find what they do, sexy. I wouldn't rather go through life with anyone else. I will never tell him this though because it would crush him.
Your partner loves you for you. Looks fade in all of us but he will always love you. I see men who got with girls just for looks and it never lasts. It's the person inside you love and stay with, not the outward physical appearance.
Sometimes it is code for that they don’t want to. So they say their wife says no or that they have to ask them. Most couples have that as a out for their partner. My husband and I do. There are some family members on my side that won’t take no from me. If I say that I have to ask my husband or whatever. They then take that as a no.
i know it’s very hot, but you have to do this not only for yourself, but for her. she needs to move on especially since she is obviously still attached and getting upset when you go out. you’re broken up for a reason. this is only hurting the both of you and making it worse. it’s time to cut her off for good. staying in limbo is only going to make things worse. either get back together or cut her off for good and you can absolutely be nice about it.
Thank you for being so insightful.
My gf is in college still, but my mom usually has a weekend off so that seems most ideal to me.
Yeah I believe my words are being taken out of proportion because it makes it seem like I’m taking my mom’s advice over my gf’s when I’m not.
If you're not ready to raise a child that's not yours, then don't stay married to someone who has a child that's not yours. Period.
Because that's how the law works.
It’s only weird if it started when you were a teen…