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Patricia ( 18yrs ) & Patrik ( 22yrs )?, 18 y.o.
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He used to think he couldn't get away with treating you terribly yet.
Honestly, I enjoy fighting on the fake ones. It feels like a really ridiculous game of would you rather. This is just terribly written
And my mum is silent…though she doesn’t know what we talked about unless he told her this evening.
Tell her. She needs to know what's going on in her marriage.
I feel like he is controlling my mum
You already know he is. His behavior on that vacation shows it.
He doesn't like YOU because he can't control you. THAT is what his real problem is. His solution is get rid of you.
Tell your mother about that conversation. Now.
It’s literally the point of urgent care.
Agreed, I think toilet humor is a bit juvenile and it's not funny at all to me. If other people find it funny, more power to them! We all have different senses of humor and there are absolutely things that I find funny that I'm sure others think are juvenile (for example I will never, ever not laugh at someone falling off a treadmill).
He could communicate it more respectfully for sure, but people are acting like the only normal or healthy way to behave in a relationship is to intentionally rip farts with each other and anyone who doesn't is a fuddy-duddy with no sense of humor. I've never done that with a partner and it's never been an issue.
Treating someone for PTSD is kind of a two-edged sword because while it's essential for them to talk about what happened bringing those memories to the surface does often create the conditions you describe. But this phase of treatment is usually temporary, it can still last a long while though. You need to stop asking him to “open up” to you. You're not his therapist and it's not important for you to hear this stuff. In fact your life would be better if you didn't. So stop making him relive every therapy session at home. You're not a professional and you wouldn't know what to do if your probing questions set him off. Be the safe place he can go after his grueling sessions. Make your home a welcoming place and not just another venue where he has to relive all of his traumas. If you truly feel that you can't on-line with someone who did the things he did then you'll have to leave him. What you don't get to do is pry into his soul then judge him for what he tells you. Unfortunately the world can be a bitter place. The home you've made together is supposed to be a reprieve from that. Good luck.
“You know my body, my rights, and I do whatever I want with my body.”
Imagine your fiance saying this to justify having an affair. I bet you'd reconsider your absolutism then.
Yes, it's your body and your rights, but it's both of your relationship.
Maybe you should separate from him for a bit, give him something to be excited about.
The problem is that we’ve gone out already.
And the last thing I said to him was I loved surfing and asked if he’s surfed here.
And also that women shouldn't drink pints. Used to work in a bar and it infuriated me when a woman who drank beer was in company with a group and when it came to a man's turn to buy, he'd order her two half pints rather than just one pint.
See, this is something you need to put in the main post, not the comments. It changes everything.