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You have every right to tell her it’s a dealbreaker for you, in fact, telling her is the ethical thing to do. However don’t feel bad if she says “ok” and does it anyway. Imo you guys aren’t compatible.
Obviously not going to make assumptions about your partner's background, but I would also have difficulty accepting your behavior due to some attachment issues I developed throughout my childhood/early adulthood. My gut reaction is still “I made this person angry and they will abandon me,” but therapy has helped me reach the second thought: “no, they are just overwhelmed and need time to cool down. They will come back when they're ready.”
But even though I have personally done the work for myself, I've also communicated with people in my life about how their reactions trigger that fear. My current partner does need a lot of solo time and he does a great job with this. Instead of just “I need space/to be alone,” he'll add “for a little while;” or “I'm overwhelmed, I'm talking a break;” or he will go have “alone time” or “quiet time” or “a little while to calm down” or… literally lots of kind ways to say the same thing. The language is super key for me. It shows me that he listens to me, understands my needs, and does not want to trigger my fears without sacrificing his own needs.
My daughter did this for her fiancé, they had been together 6 years… and then the relationship went south, he totaled the car and owed more than the loan and she was then responsible for the debt. Her credit tanked because of it. Be happy your fiancé is responsible and is trying to prevent another bad decision. Find a car more reasonable for your budget and stop acting entitled!
Thank you.
He wants to bang his ex.