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Let her walk if she needs. Ultimately if she can’t handle the fact that you were intimate in a PAST RELATIONSHIP, and that you genuinely didn’t know you had it, she’s not mature enough to be in a relationship anyway
Do what's best for you and your family. If he can't make or take the time for you, why should you for him? Mom needs to understand it's YOUR wedding day! It's what you want.
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The thing is, there is no way of tracking how many unmarried relationships result in breakups, because those relationships aren’t tracked. We don’t even know what percentage of romantic relationships marriages are.
Get out of your toxic relationship before you start yet another toxic one. Bravo
It's not too much to ask that your partner learn to do laundry. Especially since she said they're considering having children, I wouldn't want to take the step to bring another person into my relationship if I wasn't sure my partner was going to be able to learn to do some things he hasn't had to do before. I think they both have stuff to work on, especially if he's calling her overly critical when she asks him to do something basic, like hand wash her delicates, esp since it sounds like she has to remind him constantly. I'm not saying she doesn't have work to do, I'm saying that a relationship is two people and he needs to do work on himself as well if they want it to work.
Break up already. This is toxic.
Don't. It took me a quick google search to know that hypnotherapy doesn't cure someone's allergies, it just makes the symptoms less bad. You can bring it up but I'd honestly expect to be laughed at and not taken seriously.
My wife is a therapist, I've learned we all have all sorts of trauma, the op likely doesn't know about it, but the gf treated him poorly besides, and reactive behavior shoes something is def fucked up.
I didn’t mean drop the bit about the cheating. I was talking about kicking the ex out of the apartment.
Sure but it helps to have proof she is planning to fault claim things
Thanks for taking the time to write all this. I can tell, and appreciate that you thought it through. It's good advice to solidify the ideas of each of the love phases I think, as I have never really spent time contemplating on them.
I think we all make silent compromises with our partners in life. There's always something that we wish we could change, not realizing that if we changed that particular thing, some other unrelated traits would also change. Just like every positive trait can have a negative side to it and vice versa.
You are also absolutely correct about how having money can distort one's ability to appreciate things in life in so many ways. For example, having too much removes all sense of accomplishment. There is no saving up and getting excited together when buying a starter home for our family. Working as a team to decorate and dream together. Any materialistic dreams can be fulfilled instantly. The sensation of work and reward is lost.
I like your advice to identify the things that are not good and if they can be fixed or not. I didn't think about that approach and will try that. With traveling she is actually very lenient and has already agreed that I can travel when I want, for my solitude or to go on trips with friends. She is giving me a lot of freedom within the relationship. She wants to be a stay home mom and focus on raising children. That is her calling. I respect that. I just wonder if there is someone out there for her who would drop everything this moment to have that with her, because something inside of me is hesitating.
Your husband's reaction is interesting to me. It sounds like a pragmatic response, which I have many of myself. It's the heart connection that's missing I guess. Maybe that's the answer? Then again, I also gave my previous girlfriend money when we broke up. It felt like the right thing to do given the circumstances. I still think about her and wonder if I should have stayed with her too. I'm constantly confusing myself and really have a big problem with permanent decisions. Anyway, yes my current girlfriend is very sweet and hasn't done anything wrong really. I'm the problem. The last paragraph you wrote hits nude too. Knowing that all this uncertainty is killing our love, and even if I marry her in 10 years it would be too late, the love wouldn't have had time to grow and be watered properly with all that doubt underneath the surface.
So what's the line for you?
How many times do you have to catch her?
Do you honestly believe she has only lied to you twice and you've caught her both times?